Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news~

[rungout]

WHO: Rung and whoever wants to stop in!
WHERE: The good doctor's office
WHEN: It's an all day affair at Rung's office~ A few days after he discovered his new abilities.
WHAT: Therapy sessions and go!
WARNINGS: Dark pasts, etc?


Yep, it was that time again.

Now that things were somewhat back to normal for the resident therapist, Rung had put out the word that he would be taking patients again. He had missed it, helping others, and it was time to get his mind off everything that had happened to him over the past few weeks.

His office had been cleaned up and rearranged a bit, the therapist just wanting to change the atmosphere a bit.

Make it more personable than it had been before.

Satisfied with what he'd done, the front door had been propped open and he was settled at his desk, going over some files as he absently toyed with a ball of light.

Comments

YEAH!

[gunfondlingbattlestat]

Rung now gets to join a very elite company - and nearly every mech who has ever managed to see Perceptor lose his composure this much, is right here in Haven, too.

"...he did?"

This revelation makes Perceptor betrayal that much worse. At least in his own mind, and his composure slips again, revealing a moment of that despairing self-loathing before Perceptor struggles to pull his tattered mask of calm back around himself like a worn blanket. There's holes in the blanket now, though, and his hands are shaking as he starts to reach for his rifle, stops himself, and instead, balls his hands into fists on his lap.

"I'd hoped... but that wasn't..." That just wasn't something they'd sit and talk about. Even if the topic wouldn't have been awkward enough, it'd been Kup, and Kup... never had much discussed feelings. Not like that. Maybe with Rung - probably with Rung - but not with Perceptor.

"Then why did he...."

[rungout]

"Kup, even before Prowl's tampering, was never an easy individual to get to open about his feelings. He liked to play the cold sparked individual, barking orders and being the tough guy, but he cared in his own way. He just had a horrible way of showing it," Rung said with a faint, fond note to his voice that was gone just as quickly as it had surfaced as he continued.

"I can't speak about every instance though, because after awhile Kup even stopped talking to me about the more personal things. But I don't think he meant to hurt you, Perceptor. War does horrible things to individuals and sometimes we forget how to interact with others and show them that they are important to us."

[gunfondlingbattlestat]

"Forget?"

Perceptor has withdrawn, shoulders hunched, jaw clenched, but he looks up for a moment, optics flashing brightly with a flicker of... rage and hate and self-loathing.

"Like he forgot me lying on the floor, bleeding out?"

[rungout]

"..I can't make excuses for that particular incident because even I don't have any insight to what he was thinking then," Rung admitted, giving the other an apologetic look.

"But the Kup I know wouldn't have done that, Perceptor. Ever. He didn't leave his men behind."

[gunfondlingbattlestat]

"It wasn't just Kup. They all left me behind."

Kup doing so had hurt the worst, though. At least until Blaster had repudiated him for his upgrades. Had called him "defiled". Perceptor still isn't quite certain which betrayal had hurt worse.

"...he hadn't cared what I'd done for him... only when I'd made myself useful..."

[rungout]

"..And that alone should make it clear how much that wasn't Kup and someone else entirely," Rung countered gently, very determined now to express just how much he didn't believe those actions to be Kup's own.

It just didn't make sense. It didn't sound like the Kup he knew at all.

[gunfondlingbattlestat]

Perceptor digests that quietly for a while as he stares at his hands, shoulders hunched, a bundle of silent misery.

"So it wasn't Kup?"

[rungout]

"Parts were. Small parts. But a lot of it was Prowl's influence," Rung said softly but there was a note to his voice that made it clear how much he hated that fact.

How much he hated Prowl.

[gunfondlingbattlestat]

That should be a comfort to Perceptor, knowing that Kup hadn't been the one to abandon him.

It isn't though.

"I did that." He can't meet Rung's optics, and his voice has lost tat anguished tone. It's lost all tone, in fact. "It was all my fault anyway."

[rungout]

"You can't keep carrying the guilt, Perceptor," Rung counters softly, well aware of the role the other played but there's no blame.

Prowl gets all of that.

"You did what you were made to do, I doubt there was much room for you to do anything else. Kup wouldn't have blamed you so don't blame yourself," he continued, optics dimming a bit. "You'll drown in your guilt if you aren't careful, Perceptor, and I don't want to see that happen to you."

[gunfondlingbattlestat]

Perceptor shakes his head stubbornly, his features pinched into a pained scowl.

"It wasn't supposed to be that," he offers quietly. "It was only... only supposed to be a means to monitor Kup's mental stability, to provide a little balance against the radiation's influence. I should have known what Prowl would do with it."

Prowl had perverted his work. Prowl had perverted his work to damage and control Kup. It makes him so angry, but more than that...

It makes him angry at himself for underestimating what Prowl could do with his work... and with Kup. Mostly, it makes him angry with himself for willing himself not to imagine what Prowl might do.