too busy working out to

[thxforthememories]

WHO: Kagerou & OPEN
WHERE: ALL AROUND HAVEN || Police Station || Trion's Temple
WHEN: From TFP!Ratchet's attack -- to now!
WHAT: After his outburst on the Network, Kagerou is rather desperate to prove himself as a capable police officer, hunting nonstop for a fugitive he probably has no hope of locating. It goes about as well as you can expect.
WARNINGS: None now.
Note: If you could put the date and location in the subject, that would be awesome!

[He's probably become a familiar sight around the Haven skies of late. A shadow ghosting across the stars, or lurking in the darker places behind buildings. Scans are running constantly. No part of the ground goes unseen. Guilt is driving him, mostly. He wants to make things right. Wants to make amends.]

[Make it up to the bot he thinks he's failed.]

[But there are some areas he won't visit. Some places etched in his mind as too terrible to return to. He won't be seen near Liege's temple. Nor Megatronus'. Everywhere else, he is a near-constant presence. Look up. You might see him!]

~

[Even so, he can't be everywhere. Every so often, he'll return to the police station. Make reports, they said. Check in, they said. And so, in between sweeps of the Haven, he'll stop at the station. Even if no one is inside, or present, he'll offer up his report via datapad, leaving it on a desk.]

[Nothing, it usually says. Nothing unusual reported.]

[And he treats every report of that nature, like a failure. His shoulders slump a little more, and he leaves the station looking more dejected, though his expression remains as closed and neutral as possible. If someone is present in the station, he'll stop to speak with them, of course. But otherwise, he's in and out in a matter of minutes.]

~

[Rarer still, he returns to Trion's temple. To the room he and Kay and now... now another... are sharing. It's usually late when he does drag himself back. He's always low on fuel, low on rest. He'll all but stumble through the temple, nodding to passersby, or whoever happens to be on his way.]

[He will return to the room for only as long as it takes for him to refuel. To make certain Kay is all right. To make certain nothing terrible has happened.]

[And then he's gone again. Weary, frustrated, and wracked with too much guilt. But pushing onward all the same.]

Comments

[badboybikerbot]

[lol sorry dude.]

What? Who's been telling you that? You know there are other police, right? You don't have to act like you're the only one that needs to work.

[thxforthememories]

I know that. But... I was the only stealth unit here. Until recently.

[The only one with scanners and spy circuits like he has.]

The other officers. It wasn't said. Implied, yes... but they didn't say it, outright.

[badboybikerbot]

Well, now there's two of you. Even more reason for you to take it easy every once in a while.

[look, Gunmax will demonstrate TAKING IT EASY by leaning back in his chair and looking like a lazy bastard. Or something.]

Look, whoever said what, I'm sure they weren't implying that you should work yourself to death, okay.

[thxforthememories]

And if I'm taking it easy while someone else is harmed? While he goes after one of you?

[He watches him -- and there's a definite trace of envy in his expression. Damn it must be nice to be a lazy bastard.]

I'm not doing that. I'm just making sure that I don't let anyone down again.

[badboybikerbot]

What, you think we can't handle it, rookie?

[hell yeah it's nice you should try it sometime. He does look a little irritated, though.]

Oh my God, you act like you're the only person in the world who's ever screwed something up. Do you always take every little thing so personally?

[thxforthememories]

That's not what I said.

[And he bristles in return.]

But it was my fault. What else am I supposed to do?

[badboybikerbot]

You implied it. We're perfectly capable of patrolling too, y'know.

[GOOD that's exactly what Gunmax was going for. And so, he grins like a smarmy bastard.]

I dunno, how about handle it like a reasonable adult?

[thxforthememories]

I don't want to see any of you hurt.

[Not again.]

[It's never easy. Not now that he actually cares about more than just one BP unit.]

[His head jerks up, as if struck. And for a long, awkward minute, he just stares at Gunmax.]

... 'Grow up, Kagebird', you mean?

[badboybikerbot]

In this line of work, something like that is pretty much inevitable.

[That smug look wavers a bit. That wasn't really the kind of reaction he'd been expecting. Then again, he wasn't completely sure what to expect from this guy.]

Huh? Well yeah, you pretty much nailed it there.

[thxforthememories]

I... know that. But it doesn't mean I want to see it.

[He just keeps staring. Like he expects something else to follow. Something that never does.]

[After a while, he shakes his head.]

... I'm still working on it. I thought I'd gotten better. But I guess not.

[badboybikerbot]

Y'ever stop to think that maybe we don't wanna see it either? Overworkin' yourself is no better for you than getting your ass kicked by some other bot.

[um. AWKWARD. Moving on.]

See, you're just not going about it the right way. It's good that you're willing to take responsibility, don't get me wrong, but you're getting a little extreme about it.

[thxforthememories]

It's less deadly.

[At least in his experience. But, no, he's never thought of that.]

I don't know any other way to do it... to take responsibility.

[badboybikerbot]

If you keep going at the pace you've been going, it won't make any difference.

[Well now's a good time to start thinking of that isn't it. Gunmax rises to his feet, but doesn't really move beyond that. Now he's just looking lazy while leaning against his desk.]

Wouldn't hurt to ask people, now would it.

[thxforthememories]

But what if it does? What if this helps, somehow?

[And that's pretty much what's been driving him this whole time. What if's and guilt.]

... No. I guess not.

[He says it as he looks, questioningly, at the other BP.]

[badboybikerbot]

What if my arm falls off tomorrow? What if Power Joe decides to stop acting like a tool? You can't go through life worrying about what if's, it'll drive you crazy.

[wise words from the motorcycle cop, delivered in the douchiest way possible. You're welcome.]

See, was that so hard? I already told you what I think you should do. Take it easy every now and then. If you wear yourself down too much, we'll be down a good cop. You have to be responsible for yourself, too.

[thxforthememories]

But those things are unlikely.

[Yes, they are wise words, if only SOMEONE would stop thinking so damn literal.]

Responsible for myself. Mm. Isn't that selfish, though?

[badboybikerbot]

Hah! Okay, unlikely, but not impossible.

[no kagerou not. an actual TOOL. Oh whatever.]

How would that be selfish? It just means you need to take better care of yourself.

[thxforthememories]

I don't worry about what's unlikely.

[Yes you do.]

Because there are... [He stops. There are things more important than I am. He almost says it, but the old conversation with Rewind filters back.] Because I feel as though there are things more important than I am.

And it isn't easy to stop feeling that way.

[badboybikerbot]

Bull. Everyone does at some point.

[Well that next bit shuts Gunmax up for a moment while he thinks it over. Like seriously considers it.]

Huh. Okay, how about this, then. What kinds of things? Other people?

[thxforthememories]

Bull?

[Way to deflect, there, birdbrain.]

[He's also quiet, though, to think about this. How does he... put it?]

Well... [A shrug. A helpless one, not a dismissive one.] Everything, really. Everyone.

They tell you you're disposable, all of your life, it isn't easy to feel as if you aren't. As if you're more than the shadow.

[badboybikerbot]

Bull. As in bullshit. As in 'I don't believe you'.

[slang motherfucker learn you some.

Oooh right, that whole prototype thing. Gunmax hadn't been there for that whole mess, but he's still somewhat in the know.

He's quiet for a few seconds, looking up, studying Kagerou's face carefully.]

Now, I don't think I believe that, either. Hell, I get a feeling you don't believe that.

[thxforthememories]

Oh. That's a new one.

[No, he won't, if he can help it.]

[He averts his optic, his arms folding over his chest. This isn't an easy conversation, like he'd hoped.]

I... I've been trying not to. To believe something else. But as I said, it isn't easy.

[badboybikerbot]

You've really never heard "bullshit" before?

[aww you're so sheltered.

Gunmax never does anything easily okay.]

I'm just sayin', if you didn't think you were important in some way, then you wouldn't have run off in the first place. Am I right?

[thxforthememories]

In passing, maybe.

[You have no idea how sheltered, okay.]

Well... yes. My life and memories are important to me. [He pauses.] And a few others.

Protecting those things were why I left.

[badboybikerbot]

[SHRUG. Expect more colorful language with this guy around, buddy]

I'd only heard about it, but it sounded to me like you were willing to give up a lot to protect those memories, yeah?