too busy working out to

[thxforthememories]

WHO: Kagerou & OPEN
WHERE: ALL AROUND HAVEN || Police Station || Trion's Temple
WHEN: From TFP!Ratchet's attack -- to now!
WHAT: After his outburst on the Network, Kagerou is rather desperate to prove himself as a capable police officer, hunting nonstop for a fugitive he probably has no hope of locating. It goes about as well as you can expect.
WARNINGS: None now.
Note: If you could put the date and location in the subject, that would be awesome!

[He's probably become a familiar sight around the Haven skies of late. A shadow ghosting across the stars, or lurking in the darker places behind buildings. Scans are running constantly. No part of the ground goes unseen. Guilt is driving him, mostly. He wants to make things right. Wants to make amends.]

[Make it up to the bot he thinks he's failed.]

[But there are some areas he won't visit. Some places etched in his mind as too terrible to return to. He won't be seen near Liege's temple. Nor Megatronus'. Everywhere else, he is a near-constant presence. Look up. You might see him!]

~

[Even so, he can't be everywhere. Every so often, he'll return to the police station. Make reports, they said. Check in, they said. And so, in between sweeps of the Haven, he'll stop at the station. Even if no one is inside, or present, he'll offer up his report via datapad, leaving it on a desk.]

[Nothing, it usually says. Nothing unusual reported.]

[And he treats every report of that nature, like a failure. His shoulders slump a little more, and he leaves the station looking more dejected, though his expression remains as closed and neutral as possible. If someone is present in the station, he'll stop to speak with them, of course. But otherwise, he's in and out in a matter of minutes.]

~

[Rarer still, he returns to Trion's temple. To the room he and Kay and now... now another... are sharing. It's usually late when he does drag himself back. He's always low on fuel, low on rest. He'll all but stumble through the temple, nodding to passersby, or whoever happens to be on his way.]

[He will return to the room for only as long as it takes for him to refuel. To make certain Kay is all right. To make certain nothing terrible has happened.]

[And then he's gone again. Weary, frustrated, and wracked with too much guilt. But pushing onward all the same.]

Comments

[thxforthememories]

But those things are unlikely.

[Yes, they are wise words, if only SOMEONE would stop thinking so damn literal.]

Responsible for myself. Mm. Isn't that selfish, though?

[badboybikerbot]

Hah! Okay, unlikely, but not impossible.

[no kagerou not. an actual TOOL. Oh whatever.]

How would that be selfish? It just means you need to take better care of yourself.

[thxforthememories]

I don't worry about what's unlikely.

[Yes you do.]

Because there are... [He stops. There are things more important than I am. He almost says it, but the old conversation with Rewind filters back.] Because I feel as though there are things more important than I am.

And it isn't easy to stop feeling that way.

[badboybikerbot]

Bull. Everyone does at some point.

[Well that next bit shuts Gunmax up for a moment while he thinks it over. Like seriously considers it.]

Huh. Okay, how about this, then. What kinds of things? Other people?

[thxforthememories]

Bull?

[Way to deflect, there, birdbrain.]

[He's also quiet, though, to think about this. How does he... put it?]

Well... [A shrug. A helpless one, not a dismissive one.] Everything, really. Everyone.

They tell you you're disposable, all of your life, it isn't easy to feel as if you aren't. As if you're more than the shadow.

[badboybikerbot]

Bull. As in bullshit. As in 'I don't believe you'.

[slang motherfucker learn you some.

Oooh right, that whole prototype thing. Gunmax hadn't been there for that whole mess, but he's still somewhat in the know.

He's quiet for a few seconds, looking up, studying Kagerou's face carefully.]

Now, I don't think I believe that, either. Hell, I get a feeling you don't believe that.

[thxforthememories]

Oh. That's a new one.

[No, he won't, if he can help it.]

[He averts his optic, his arms folding over his chest. This isn't an easy conversation, like he'd hoped.]

I... I've been trying not to. To believe something else. But as I said, it isn't easy.

[badboybikerbot]

You've really never heard "bullshit" before?

[aww you're so sheltered.

Gunmax never does anything easily okay.]

I'm just sayin', if you didn't think you were important in some way, then you wouldn't have run off in the first place. Am I right?

[thxforthememories]

In passing, maybe.

[You have no idea how sheltered, okay.]

Well... yes. My life and memories are important to me. [He pauses.] And a few others.

Protecting those things were why I left.

[badboybikerbot]

[SHRUG. Expect more colorful language with this guy around, buddy]

I'd only heard about it, but it sounded to me like you were willing to give up a lot to protect those memories, yeah?

[thxforthememories]

[And be prepared to be called the ONE name he knows.]

Memories are all I have. So why wouldn't I?

[badboybikerbot]

[Learn some better names, Kagebird. Srsly.]

All you have? Tch. That isn't true and you know it.

But besides that. My point is, you need to focus on what's important to you, not what you think is important to other people. You're no less important than anyone else. Maybe it's not easy to adjust to, but keep it in mind.

I HIT POST TOO SOON

[thxforthememories]

I don't have a soul. So what else is there?

[That at least, he says very blandly. Something he's already accepted.]

I'm... surprised. To hear you be so supportive. No jokes or anything. [More awkward, thoughtful silence.] You don't think it's at all selfish to do, though? To focus on yourself, instead of another?

GOOD JOB ACE

[badboybikerbot]

[That... kind of bugs Gunmax somehow. He doesn't know about souls or whatever, but as far as he cares, they're no less alive than everyone else.]

What, you didn't think I was capable of serious conversations? Am I blowing your mind right now?

[he flips his hand dismissively. You silly bird.]

You're no different from the rest of us, and we've got more going for us than just memories. And it might be a little selfish, but to be perfectly honest, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[thxforthememories]

A little. Are you proud?

[He kind of awkwardly tries to flip his hand, too. In a weird little shadowing of Gunmax's gesture.]

[It's safe to copy friends, okay. It's a defense mechanism thing.]

I'm trying to believe that. It's... a work in progress. [He's better than he was, some days.] Nothing wrong with being selfish?

[badboybikerbot]

Extremely.

[psh nice going. Gunmax just grins at that goofy hand flip.]

Ah, you'll figure it out. I believe in you, baby! [THUMBS UP] And nah, I don't think so. As long as you don't go overboard with it, anyway.

[thxforthememories]

Hm. It shows.

[He shakes his head a little.]

That's the part that worries me. The "overboard" part.

[badboybikerbot]

I don't think that you could. I can't even get you to take a break for your own benefit.

[thxforthememories]

I'm not that bad.

McCrane is worse.

[badboybikerbot]

...You know what, I believe it.

God, sounds like I have to drag you both out and find something fun to do.

[thxforthememories]

Maybe. Maybe when this mess is taken care of.

[badboybikerbot]

Yeah I was thinking of something a little sooner than that.

[thxforthememories]

I don't think you'll tear him away from work right now any more than me.

[badboybikerbot]

That sounds like a challenge.

[thxforthememories]

I wasn't trying to make it one.