re_alignment_logs | THE SHOW MUST GO ON [open]

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THE SHOW MUST GO ON [open]

WHO: Soundwave & OPEN
WHERE: Medbay
WHEN Some hours after Barricade & Driller find him/repair him.
WHAT: Eventually, Soundwave wakes up from repairs in a very unfortunate location for him. Visitations, anyone?
WARNINGS: Trauma, mention of robotgore/robotdeath.

Dreaming is a difficult thing for him.

Usually, Soundwave is in the company of someone, and adopts their memories, their dreams into his own. It's sort of nice, because he feels as though in that way he can improve his techniques as the Decepticon Army's Morale Officer. He knows how to help his fellow soldiers, help his friends keep upbeat. Not just with sing-a-longs with Dead End or Bombshell's therapy sessions, but he himself needs to help the others find a will to carry on.

Here in the medbay, when he's resting, he gets flashes. Some dreams his own, some not. A mix of what he's taken, and what he trembles in the wake of.

There's a sharp smile, a cheerful giggle, and a laser scalpel digging into his face as it's removed, torn from his head You just look so much more interesting this way! and how his mind burns when he knows the truth that he failed one of his adopted kids he's dead he should have rescued him red eyes burning at him This doesn't concern you, Decepticon and he hears Rodimus screaming and he's too late and the black sucks him down and he's never been able to escape it and in his arms it's cold metal just so cold and
he remembers
something new to all of it
this isn't what I want stop stop stop stop and the tired sigh of it's not as if you will remember this, Soundwave, your struggling is getting tiresome and stop stop stop don't open that there's just no choice.

The dust kicks up under his feet, the expansive desert, and Soundwave stares in confusion. Twin stones twisting around each other, a fierce glow, and it screams in his head.
MAKE US WHOLE

Soundwave jerks awake from recharge, his intakes gasping to vent out hot, anxious air, trying to cool himself off. Looking around in a panic, he almost doesn't remember being here.

The medbay.

Frag, he hates being in medbays.

"Ugh, so bogus," he groans to himself, rubbing his helm. Glad he has hands to use again.

It's rare to dream something for himself. Not all of it his, but enough of it was, and that bothers him. Soundwave shudders to himself, shaking his head. No, no. He's okay, he just needs to roll it off his shoulders. He can deal with it.

It's okay. It's okay.

Soundwave folds his arms over his midsection, hugging himself.

Right. He'll be okay.

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Flustered, he leaned back a little and tried to disguise how poorly prepared he was for that response. All the casual friendliness could lull Starscream into forgetting how smart Soundwave was. "Yeah, well. When you put it that way, maybe that's why I keep getting into trouble."

He suspected that was a heap of scrap, that Soundwave was probably thinking of nothing but, but the one he knew was always playing it close to the chestplate, so finally there was something that didn't surprise him about this.

"I don't know." Honestly, honesty was easier to keep track of, but somehow he didn't think that was why Soundwave was doing it. It was an interesting, processor-expanding exercise. "I think you can probably exaggerate. Maybe if you think you can protect other peoples' feelings. 'Does this shade of paint make me look bulky', or something like that."

The reaction doesn't seem to draw much other than a curious headtilt from Soundwave as he looks at the other Decepticon, almost innocently. "Heh, well, you should be more careful then, Screamer. Don't dig a hole for yerself, yeah?"

Soundwave leans back on his hands, peering at him a little more closely before he snickers. "So you think I'd fib to spare another dude's feelings, huh? I'unno, I guess that depends on the scenario! But I think it's usually easier to be honest. Lemme put it this way: Thundercracker where I'm from? Totally way more colorful than aaaaany dude has business being. The way I put it to 'im? Well, at least you'll totally have everyone's attention this way. There's a positive spin to it, even if you don't always agree with, uh. Their paint choice or whatever."

Really, the only time he finds himself lying is to try to not burden people with his own scrap, but that usually doesn't last long either until someone corners him. In the past, it's usually been Megatron, his own Starscream, Dead End or Bombshell.

"But that's what I'm best at." It was kidding on the square. He really was best at it.

He snorted at the comment about Thundercracker, abruptly missing the other Seeker, though his slight frown was there and gone almost too quickly to be tracked. "...Silver linings, huh. Feel free to use your whole quota up on me, whenever you feel like it."

The Seeker made a soft clearing noise and fixed his optics on Soundwave's face. Ordinarily? He didn't push. But this time...

"...If you want to talk about it..."

"Heh, s'terrible habit to have! Get a better hobby, Screamer." Sharp as Soundwave might be, he seems to miss the implication.

There's a small shrug and a shake of his head. "Dude, I know to not inflate your ego too much. If you're gonna get any, it's in small doses."

The next set of words sincerely surprise him. There's a small, startled hum from the Morale Officer, visor brightening faintly.

Then he dips his head down, almost shamefully. "Why... would you wanna hear about any of it?"

"I'd say I'm open to suggestions, but that might get me music lessons."

And at that he gives a disappointed huff. A font of praise dammed well before its time. Ordinarily he'd say something sarcastic like you'd make me beg for it?, but something about the conversation sobers him, just a little.

"Two reasons. One; it might help you to talk to someone who you don't have to worry about offending."

Because Starscream was one of the least squeamish individuals he knew.

"And two; it might help me figure out how to help stop him hurting anyone else."

It might key up his anger a little higher, might inspire him to do some of the same things back against Prism, if he could get his servos on him. Poetic revenge was a very good kind.

"Hey, not so true! I also know tons of games we could play." Soundwave shrugs. "'Sides, isn't there anything you liked doing before the war?"

At Starscream's reasons, Soundwave goes uncharacteristically (for him) quiet, his head tilting and he considers. His fingers tap nervously on the berth for a moment.

It's not due to lack of trust, oddly enough. It's just in his nature.

"Well..." Soundwave presses his hand to his own chest, against his windshield. "I just... I went there to just do a survey. That's what I thought. Prism shot off my legs and-- and dragged me inside the temple. Started to tear me open with these tentacles."

The tapping becomes more nervous.

"He tried to hack my processor, too. Managed to keep him from doin' that." He already had to explain himself to Blurr; he's hoping that Starscream won't press the issue. "Then he did somethin' with my ember casing. I don't know if I can... really tell what he did. It was just-- it hurt a lot."

"Next time I come by, I'll bring checkers. Just to make it fair." A pause at that question, before the war. His optics shuttered for a second, and he played it off cool, "Flying. It's the only really good thing about this place, there's enough in the way of resources that I can justify burning up a lot of fuel for no reason."

And then he fell silent to listen, schooling his face into some attempt at calm as he processed all of that. His mouth opened, and then shut again firmly, resisting the urge to stop Soundwave midway and ask for clarification, expansion--that cold intellect warring with his mercurial mood, and the smallest smattering of sympathy--it was impossible not to like Soundwave, he was too relentlessly complimentary and open and honest.

And he was surprised at how the niggling feeling suggested itself in him that Soundwave should be spared pain - a slow and sneaking impression on him. As in flight combat, his aim was to swing wide, get behind and slightly above this new potential threat and attack it, but attacking Soundwave just seemed...

Best to try a different angle.

"I'm sorry--'Ember casing'?"

As much as he wishes to speak further about Starscream's history prior to the war, and maybe games they could play, he can't switch the topic as readily. Now they're knee deep into what happened with him and Prism.

Soundwave absently touches his own legs, as if that's somehow going to make them work for him magically, or maybe he just needs a distraction.

The question isn't terribly surprising. He remembers Cliffjumper having the same reaction once.

"It's... like a spark chamber, but I don't have a spark. I have an ember. Opposite polarization, that's how Megadude put it." Soundwave places his hand back over his windshield. "I ain't seen a spark, so I dunno if they look different..."

"Have you had a medic look at it?" He would offer, himself, but he knows he has no idea what he's looking for or even at. It doesn't help that the idea of anyone tampering in anything that approximates (or in this case is) a spark chamber is like nightmare level. Even for a guy present for the Great War.

"No!" He knows Starscream doesn't know better, he just doesn't, but the suggestion makes Soundwave jerk back suddenly.

A bit shamefully, he admits, "Look, uh. It was... it was hard enough for me to ask 'Cade for help. I wasn't gonna have a medic look at my chamber. I can't."

After all of that with Prism as well as his rather unfortunate personal experiences with medics? He's going to back out of that for now.

The Seeker twitches, but doesn't retreat, or panic, reaching out to put a steadying hand on Soundwave's shoulder. "Easy. It's your chamber, and your decision."

He didn't need to be a genius with people to tell there were ways in which Soundwave was only barely holding it together, jovial exterior or not.

"Look. This stays between us, understand? I'm not going to rat you out and make somebody look at you." His voicebox volume had dropped to barely audible levels, "We'll let it lie for now, I'll get that AI for you, and we can figure it out later."

Briefly, his visor dims at the hand on his shoulder. It's grounding and he nods slowly. Right, okay; he has no problem trusting Starscream on this.

He's not much for secrets, but in this case, he isn't sure if he can bear to tell many others so soon. Not yet. The assurance is appreciated and heard easily by someone like Soundwave. No doubt Starscream knows that.

"Right. Okay." Soundwave exhales through his vents. "Thanks, Starscream. Sorry, I don't mean to, ah..." Freak out, put the other Decepticon in an uncomfortable spot? Sure, he asked, but he didn't ask to be put in a spot of Soundwave's problems. "Respond like that."

"It happens." He was no psychologist, but he'd seen Decepticons fall apart before - in battle it usually took an aftkick and making them more afraid of him than they were of the enemy, but in peacetime there were ways around it.

"You don't have anything to apologize for. Is there something I can get you, while you're on your back?"

It's a bit odd, he'll admit, to receive reassuring from him. It's not that he thinks badly of Starscream, but rather, most others tend to not exactly be the comforting type. Not that Soundwave is being coddled right now or anything, but Starscream isn't being cruel either.

"Nah, I'm gonna be fine. S'pose it might be a good idea if I just try to rest."

Not that it sounds very appealing right now, but he knows what he should be doing.

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THE SHOW MUST GO ON [open]

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