re_alignment_logs

WHO: Rung, Open~
WHERE: He's wandered into Alpha Trion's Quadrant.
WHEN Sometime after the bad session with Fortress Maximus.
WHAT: He failed at the only thing he's ever truly been good at and he feels miserable because of it.
WARNINGS: N/A

Rung felt like a failure; an absolute failure in what he was supposed to be good at. He was supposed to help Fortress Maximus, do what he could because that's what his function was, and yet he'd completely fallen apart when the other had gotten upset and instead of helping he'd probably caused more harm than good. He'd lost his composure, let his emotions come through too much, and hadn't been able to keep his own haunting memories at bay.

It was everything that therapist wasn't supposed to do.

A small voice in the back of his head reminded him, as he walked along lost in thought, that the incident was still fairly fresh--recent enough that at times he could still feel the sting of the blow to his head--but a larger voice, the more stubborn one that Rung was letting have control at the moment, argued that it didn't matter. He should have been able to put it all aside and not let it get to him. He should have been able to calm Fortress Maximus down and helped him instead of freaking out.

He'd thought about retracting his offer for the time being, since he didn't feel like he was a good enough doctor to help anyone now, but he'd already made steps with several and he couldn't--wouldn't back out on them now.

But he'd never really felt more worthless in all of his existence really.

Rung had been so lost in thought that he didn't really realize where he'd ended up until he finally caught sight of a lake, the therapist's optics flickering as he slowed to a stop, staring out over the waters before finally looking around. It was very serene in a way, peaceful in a way that reminded him of what Blurr had said.

This must be Alpha Trion's quadrant.

Hesitating for a moment more, Rung's vents cycled softly as he pushed forward, heading down closer to the lake to just sit and..stew some more. Berate himself some more? Something like that...

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"But I should have been able to handle it," Rung countered softly, shaking his head as he looked to his superior officer once more. "It's my job, no matter what I myself might have been through and Fortress Maximus needed my help and I failed..."

He felt absolutely miserable about it and, on top of it all, the fear still wouldn't let go of him.

"Is...he alright?"

"And it is my job to watch over my crew. Yet, we cannot let either of our mistakes and failures prevent us from further pursuing our work. I have ... made several missteps on my time. It is hard to not let them linger, but you should not."

Comfort is not a skill of his. Ultra Magnus is acutely aware of that. But he's not so cold to turn his back on Rung.

"As well as he can be. I'm keeping tabs on him and he is reporting to me every day. I am ... also no longer requiring him to see you, of course."

There was no response right away, Rung soaking it all in and just considering what the other was saying before he finally nodded a bit, vents cycling softly.

"I know I shouldn't...I suppose I just wish I could redo the entire thing," he admitted, though a part of him was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of it right now. It was just all too soon he'd realized--realized it as soon as Fortress Maximus had walked through the door of his quarters actually.

He nodded as Magnus told him about Fort Max, glad to know that the other was at least keeping in touch with someone that would keep an eye on him.

"I--" Rung started to protest then stopped, pushing down those automatic urges he had as a doctor before nodding again. "Of course, sir."

"Wishing for a second chance is normal."

Wishes are for others, Magnus thinks to himself. It's a normal desire. But he can't work on what ifs and what could haves. For his line of work, he needs facts. What is, and what is not.

In Rung's case, he understands the desire. Ultra Magnus just can't let himself.

"I am not the best individual for this," he confesses, "but your well-being and his are both of my concern. If... there is something else you wish to state, I will listen."

"They are, yes...even if they are impractical at times," Rung murmured, even though this place, this Cybertron, was something of a second chance in itself.

There was something about what Magnus was attempting, the way he said it and his want to help that made Rung relax a bit more, a faint smile appearing as he fought an accompanying chuckle.

"No, I'm alright. I truly appreciate you checking on me as it is, sir," he replied, giving the other bot a thankful look. "And you checking on Fortress Maximus as well. He...is a good bot, I know he is..he just needs help."

Smiling and an expression of amusement. That seems more reasonable. Normal, he thinks. Though he doesn't return the sentiment, it seems, Ultra Magnus does tilt his head slightly.

"You're welcome."

Magnus seems to hesitate slightly on the subject of Fortress Maximus. Then, he confirms with, "He is. Max is just. ... Lost. I don't think I'm the right mech to help him find his way back, but I am trying."

Garrus-9, the Wreckers, Max, Overlord -- all of it is a delicate topic to many. Magnus hadn't been there.

Though he knows he probably should have been.

Rung's expression melted into a slightly more thoughtful and serious one as he looked out over the water again, reaching out a bit to tap the surface with his fingers.

"It's all any of us can do. I'm not..sure if there is anyone that can truly get through to him completely but perhaps if we all do the best we can..." he trailed off, drawing his hand away from the water, watching the water run over the metal of his fingers.

"....Do you have any idea where Overlord is, sir?"

"Perhaps."

It's no simple topic to discuss. If Ultra Magnus has anything deeper to add, he's specifically making a point to not mention it.

"I have vague ideas, but I plan on tracking him down when I have a sound strategy. I will not have another incident on my hands and he will not touch another one of my men if I can help it."

"Of course," the therapist murmured, nodding a bit figuring it was best to just leave both subjects where they were. Ultra Magnus had never seemed the type to really want to talk about things in depth with those that it didn't completely pertain to so he was glad to at least have this bit of information.

If Ultra Magnus was on Overlord's trail, then that was enough for Rung.

"..Thank you again, sir..just..for everything you do. I feel better knowing that you are here, despite how uncomfortable this entire thing is."

"No thanks is necessary. It is my duty."

The enforcer pauses, then crouches down by the therapist. "If. You require anything, do not hesitate to tell me. You are still crew, therefore my responsibility. So your well-being is important."

There. That seemed good enough to clarify. Though a more friendly touch might be better from someone else. Reluctantly, he might have to ask for Drift's help on that. Though the swordsmech doesn't seem as terribly cheerful as he usually was.

"I'll give you some space now. But I won't be far if you need help."

As in, it's not exactly safe out here, so he's willing to come to Rung's protection if he needs it.

There was something Ultra Magnus that, while extremely intimidating, was also very reassuring in a way because he was one of those bots that just never seemed to back down from anything.

A lot like Kup had been..

"I will, sir, of course," Rung reassured the other, or maybe he was simply just agreeing because he wasn't about to argue with Ultra Magnus; he had too much respect for the other.

The therapist nodded as the other mech spoke once more, offering a friendly sort of smile as he drew his knees up again just a touch.

"Thank you, Ultra Magnus."

At the agreement, Ultra Magnus looks fairly satisfied. The smile gives him pause, as if he almost considers smiling back.

But, ah. No. He can't seem to bring himself to do that.

So instead, he just nods to Rung. "I'll be in touch," the enforcer assures before he turns and transforms into his vehicle mode to drive off.

But as promised, not too far off that he isn't in range if needed.

Failure

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