And All The Stories...

[thxforthememories]

WHO: Kagerou + OPEN
WHERE: Trion's Temple & Library
WHEN: After Kay's post
WHAT: Venturing out of his pity party for a while, in order to do research. Reading. And maybe stalking anyone else prowling around.
WARNINGS: Nothing!


He wouldn't have left his room, had the guilt not all but shoved him out. He'd forgotten something important. He'd forgotten something important to Kay. It was worse, in a way, than forgetting anything else.

Almost anything.

So he'd slipped out of their room. Despite his outburst, he still seemed to have relatively free reign of the place. No one would mind him poking about, he thought. If they did... maybe his supposed "status" would actually be of use. For once.

Besides, it wasn't as if he was doing anything particularly wrong. Just ducking into the library. Reading the books and scanning the data there was hardly against the rules. Or, if it was, no one had seen fit to tell him. Part of him doubted he'd be able to find what he was looking for -- the FirstForged likely wouldn't want anyone knowing how to remove the markings put in place, if it were even possible at all. One more thing he had to find out.

He could be found flitting about the bookcases. Hovering in the air, or perched up on a shelf, reading, his expression creased in a frown. So far, nothing was helpful. Even though he'd started a pile -- all books and data pads which might contain something useful in getting this mark off him. It couldn't be permanent. They were leading him on.

They had to be.

Except for a select few books he'd located on the "cultural significance of birthdays"...

Comments

[raceme]

Cruelty is a common trait among the living, it doesn't mean that everyone will be always like that, thankfully.

[An important one.]

When I was on Earth a human called Mater Disaster used to control me, I couldn't change _{back and I was stuck} in my car alt mode. He forced me to compete in street races because I always won. But ^{then I met Bumblebee} and his human lady friend Sari and she wasn't so mean. She's here too.

[thxforthememories]

Why does it have to be that way?

[He peers down at him, frowning slightly.]

But you're living. You're not like one of us... How could a human being control you?

[raceme]

I don't know, I wish I could give you and answer. But it doesn't have to be that way, _{some people does} try to change things.

[Blurr stares down at the book he was holding.] He used ^{a remote device} with an AllSpark fragment inside it, it could control not only machines but Cybertronians.

[thxforthememories]

Some people. But it's never enough.

[Not in his opinion.]

All Spark fragment...?

[raceme]

It might seem that way but we have to keep trying. [Mr. Pessimist, meet Mr. determinator.]

The Allspark is one of our <sacred objects, capable of creating new life. It was shattered in our universe and pieces of it were scattered all around earth.

[thxforthememories]

Trying... it's not always possible.

[Like when you end up dead.]

... then how do you make more of you?

[raceme]

Yes, I know.

We use protoforms ^{combined with} protomater and then we used Vector Sigma, an ancient and _{incredibly powerful} super computer that possessed the ability to create life. We use it to continue the growth of our race after the AllSpark _was jettisoned into space to end the Great War.

[thxforthememories]

[Well, that's entirely new information.]

You... you come from a computer? A computer program?

[raceme]

Yes but noOooooot exactly except that it's close to that. It's hard to explain. We aren't so different, no.

[thxforthememories]

... And no one... no one argues whether or not you're alive?

[raceme]

[Blurr shakes his head, understanding where this is going.] No, not at all. How you describe being alive, Kagerou?

[thxforthememories]

... You're made by a computer, and no one so much as questions--

[The world these robots come just sounds so much better than his own. Even with all the fighting they apparently go through.]

[To be considered alive... immediately... that would be worth all the violence. Wouldn't it?]

Having a soul. Real emotions. Never once thinking, or wondering if, you're nothing more than data stored in a chip...

That's it. That's being alive.

[raceme]

It's a bit more complicated than that but...sorta. Vector Sigma acts out the will of Primus, our creator. I wasn't sure if he was real until I arrived here.

Ah, but a big part of being alive _{is questioning your} existence. There's no creature in this universe or any other that hasn't asked himself at least once 'why I am here?'

Are you afraid to die? I'm not asking if you are afraid of risking your life or fighting, I'm asking if you really worry about being gone.

[thxforthememories]

It's still a computer system... isn't it? You're still brought to life with a computer.

[Part of him really wants to believe that's all there is to it. That, somewhere, somehow, life is possible, even if it came from where he did.]

Even... animals? Can they ask those questions?

[He doesn't have a response to the last question. Not right away. His head bows.]

Ever since I learned what was intended for me, I... feared it. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to lose the memories of him.

[raceme]

Yes, yes it is. Is a legit way to be brought to life, you know. The human way of creating life is just a way among the vigintillion of ways that exist all across the galaxies.

[It is Kagerou, and it's a good way.]

They do, in a different way. _{They have instincts} that helps them to survive, a part of him that impulse them to keep going and preserve themselves an their species.

[Blurr voice softens and he gives him a few moments before to speak again.]

You ^{had feelings, no} matter what those might be, and fears too...that's the essence of life. In one start in the sky are found all the secrets of the galaxy, in one aspect of You are found all the aspects of existence.

[thxforthememories]

You still received a soul... From a computer.

[That's what he can't wrap his mind around. He's trying, though.]

Instincts are the same as thinking? I thought they were different.

[He shakes his head slowly.]

I have emotions... because they're programmed. They're part of a chip in my head. Data. That's all. I exist because of more data. Memories.

... I don't think I'll ever know if I'm really alive... or not.

[raceme]

[Blurr nods again.] Basically. What makes you think that any other method is more valid?

Ah no, not quite, but in this case it works a bit like that.

[Blurr leans back slightly.]

Did any of that data tell you how to be friends with a human like Kay? Or how to fear Death? Do you think that those who lose their memories stop existing?

Perhaps at first it was only data, data, but you outgrew it. You are more now than just that, Kagerou. This is here and ow and that's what should matter.

[thxforthememories]

Because... that's not how human beings do it. Or animals. Nothing with a soul is supposed to be created from a computer.

[He shakes his head, but stays huddled up on his shelf.]

No. I don't think it did. But I don't know... none of the humans who worked there would tell me things like this.

Outgrew... my data?

[raceme]

You are saying that from a human's perspective. [Blurr rubs the back of his helmet, his processor is starting to hurt but he thinsk this conversation is important.] My people have souls, and unlike animals or humans ours are visible. It's an undeniable fact. When I was turned an organic ^{a few months ago} the worse part of being human was not being able to feel my spark.

[It hurt and it was terrifying. He wouldn't wish that to his worse enemy.]

They didn't show you how but you managed to do it anyway. What does that tell you?

Yes. Some might call it evolution. You need to be alive to do that. Drones, simply robots, those with programmed minds an nothing else...they can't do it.

[thxforthememories]

That's the only perspective I've ever had to use... [He tilts his head.] It was the opposite, for me. I felt... alive. Like I was really alive.

[He'd enjoyed it.]

I don't... know what it tells me. Other than my AI didn't want to be erased.

Are you sure of that?

[raceme]

How odd that the same things can make us feel so differently.

[Lucky. Blurr considered it a burden.]

Perhaps ^{you need to} think about that further. About the why.

Yes, that's what I believe.

[thxforthememories]

Was it really so bad for you? You were still alive...

[He shrugs a little.]

Would it really help? Just thinking?

[raceme]

[Blurr looks away, the book forgotten.] Yes...it was. [He can't explain it properly to someone who never had a anything like a Spark.]

Can't hurt for sure. [Blurr moves closer to Kagerou.] Come on, get _down there. Let's go somewhere to distract ourselves a bit. We can look for more information alter. [You need some cheering up.]

[thxforthememories]

[He blinks, a little surprised at the change of subject, but nods, and slips down from the shelf.]

Like where?

[raceme]

[A change of topic might be good. Brooding too much is bad for the health, Kagerou.]

Anywhere you want. Have you tried the warm energon pools under Solus's temple? The washracks?