[OPEN] Come visit DJD Territory! Get a souvenire, a song, a little culture. Escape with your life.

[songofmypeople]

Who: Tarn and/or his (giant) undead demon wolf-beast and You!
What: Choose your own adventure. Put a 1, 2, 3, or 4 in the subject line if you can't think of how you'd like to start things off. No number is also more than perfect!
Where: New DJD Territory [nearly 3 'neighbourhoods' of Prima's abandoned little micro city now belong to THIS guy. He's been redecorating.]
When: Now. [After Rung's death, and after Tarn's been placed on the Defense Committe]
Warnings: Animal abuse / hunting. Will update if things get worse. [PS: Permission Post]

Option 1: A guy's gotta eat right? In this case that 'guy' would be a turbofox. Tarn is either in the midst of feeding his pet live game, or he's helping the wittle cutie-paws play with its prey. This option will probably be gruesome and this machine WAS tested on animals. You're welcome to come check out the death bellow of a geardeer.

Option 2: Decepticon eye for the tasteless guy. Tarn is continuing his redecorating. Sure Prima's half-finished city looks super classy but why not watch Tarn bust down some walls he doesn't need, or admire how lovingly he paints those new Decepticon emblems onto the other walls he will allow to continue existing?

Option 3: Santa's little helpers (Frenzy and Dirge) have been going through the trash for their new boss (because, let's face it, that's a little beneath him) and have found him some of those precision rifles he's been looking for. Also a giant blender, a hot tub, and a chair. Oh god he's so alone. Feel free to find Tarn chilling on a balcony above you, trying out a collection of sniper rifles on for size.

Option 4: You were just going for a walk, minding your own business in this super swanky little golden city when you're found by the cutest little elephant-sized, drooling, undead, wild wolf-monster. It would like to say hello. And if you're a robot, it would like to say hello to your insides.

Other: None of the above, let's rock this improv style!

Comments

[songofmypeople]

Whoa there, where do you think you're going, little dumpling?

Results inconclusive again, the fox leans forward, catches Crow as he tries to escape, flips him over with its snout, and gives Crow's entire backside another lick.

Maybe this end is where the information is stored?

[uknowuwantmebaby]

He is not a dumpling, if anything he is a golden nugget.

The robot soon find himself flipped like a pancake, landing on his front, and shouting something unholy.

"OK THIS IS GETTING TO BE A REAL INVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE."

choose your own adventure

[songofmypeople]

Okay, McNugget, time to do things the shark way.

Pulling back its lips, the Pet bares its long (gross looking) teeth. Almost daintily it snags Crow in its mouth; but the nugget is really difficultly small. It takes at least 3 efforts of tossing the poor little guy into the air and snapping him back up for the Pet to catch Crow properly between its teeth.

Back to the issue of being too small, and who knows if Crow's body is punctured at all by the fangs or if instead, he's lucky enough to wedge into the space between two teeth.

Either way, no long in possession of molars, the Pet fortunately has a pretty hard time getting its crush on.

both end in pain

[uknowuwantmebaby]

"Wh-whWHOAAAAAAAAAA!"

Oh god what the hell is happening, suddenly he's up in the air getting tossed two, no three times before landing square in the creature's disgusting mouth. Soon enough the robot's golden chassis is punctured by several teeth.

"It's not like I needed that, thanks!"

This is just the best thing that could happen to him and by that he means worst. Can someone please wake him up cause then the boo-hooing would be more dignified.

Teeth or No Teeth. Tarn or the Turbofox. Pscream or Tarn. Beginning to notice a trend with me?

[songofmypeople]

Oh no, nugget, things can and will always get worse.

Meanwhile, having finally breached the shell of this little treat, the Pet was disappointed to find that there was no gooey centre and it was in fact, no treat at all. Boohoo. :( All that effort for nought.

Smacking its lips once, it pried Crow loose with its tongue, and then holding him firmly in its mouth, trotted off to go find Tarn.

The trotting probably felt a lot like: BOUNCE. BOUNCE. BOUNCE. PAIN. BOUNCE. BOUNCE.

Or something like that anyway.

a hidden epic waiting to be written

[uknowuwantmebaby]

Oh no, oh no no no. He was not made to be a chew toy, ok?! He isn't even fire hydrant-shaped! You need to get your optic thingies checked, alright?! Because nothing about getting tossed in its mouth as it bounds to wherever it's going was far from okay.

"WH-WH-WHERE A-A-ARE--MA-MA-MA-MAKEITSTOP!"

At this point Crow is howling and sobbing like a kid who fell off a bike. This was worse than 'Johnny at The Fair', it was 12000 times more traumatizing.

Half horror, half tragedy

[songofmypeople]

Probably no helping the pet's optic thingies, given that they're cracked all to hell, and kind of grimy to boot. But A+ for the effort of suggestion!

Eventually the carousel of pain and glowing drool ended, and it ended something like this:
There was a "Bleeeehh," sound, and the pet spat out the non-treat in a slow-mo drop coated in thick animal saliva... at Tarn's feet.

Tarn just looked down, and he looked unimpressed. Well. Probably. Hard to tell with the mask and all.

so every penny marshall movie ever

[uknowuwantmebaby]

And Crow is dropped in an oh-so unidentified fashion, a ball of spit and dents and pain. Oh the pain, the pain. Crow drags himself through the saliva to Tarn's feet, coughing and groaning.

"Bleugh...does this mean I'm a born-again Christian...oh the pain, the pain..."

Oh hey, it's Tarn, "Well hey Dances with Slobbering Hellbeasts."

Hahahah!

[songofmypeople]

Tarn looks down, and then he just keeps looking down further until he sees this small wet thing near one foot.

Abruptly crouching down, the pistons of his joints are so powerful they buffet Crow with a stiff breeze, as X+ tons of heavy metal machinery suddenly displaces.

Funny; up close Tarn isn't so much less threatening as he is just more in your face. And then fingers are in your face too as two large digits delicately close around Crow's body, and the little robot is brought up, up, up some more til he's eye-level.

And my what a big, beautiful, crimson eye it is. They probably make lipstick in this shade.

[uknowuwantmebaby]

Yeah seriously, back it up, boy. Crow nearly loses balance when the giant mech bends down to get a closer look. He could only handle so much.

The robot, as unwise a move it was, leaned in, knocking on the robot's face, "Yoo hoo, Watchtower! Have you heard about the book of Mormon?"

He sighs, "Seriously Tarn, that whole staring thing is a little creepy."

[songofmypeople]

"I have not heard of your book," Tarn says, unfased by the knocking. Maybe it's how the very pathetically small say hello?

There's a pause and then, "You're my head of PR aren't you?" That voice is completely devoid of inflection.

[uknowuwantmebaby]

"It's not mine, it's some guy from Illinois." it's how the Crows say 'back up, you weirdo'.

Crow beams. Did this guy forget people fast or what?

"Yep! And from the looks of it do you need one."

[songofmypeople]

Tarn was never really very good at respecting personal space.

"How lucky for me that I have you then. So, what brings you to DJD territory?"