re_alignment_logs | Hallways always [OPEN]

Entry tags:

Hallways always [OPEN]

who: Vandal and any visitors. [OPEN]
what: Vandal is bed-bound, recovering from her month-long detainment and torture.
when: All this week.
where: The Medbay
warnings: very yes
notes: Tag in your own threads, it can be set during any point in the week.

The beep of the monitors is loud with her head this eerily silent. Whatever he did to her, between the needles and questioning, he separated it. Took something. Now that static in her head is far quieter. It's almost as maddening as when it was present.

Now she's almost lonely without it. Well- she was lonely before, but now even more so.

She doesn't sleep, no. It's not safe to sleep anymore. She wants to scream every time she's left alone, but it's not practical to have someone with her all the time. Prism is dead, the Gatherer is dead, but the way she goes back to that place every time she shuts her eyes.

So she lays in a space between waking and sleep, startling back to consciousness every tie she starts to drift. Shaking. Thinking about it. What it did to her.

She reaches up to smooth a finger over the gauze covering what used to be her right eye.

Ruined. He ruined her worse than the church did. The mental, the physical.

Everything. Ruined.

She wishes they'd have killed her when they found her.

But she's also a coward, and afraid of death, so here she sits and lets the stitches heal.

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He's wracked with guilt. He tried to find her, and he failed. His failure is written all over her, a map of scars and damage that he faces every time he stops by.

The first few times--just after the rescue--she was unconscious, either asleep or passed out, and he hadn't wanted to wake her. He'd simply stood there in silence, listening to the methodical cacophony of the machines around her. She looked so small on the medical berth, so fragile.

He'd failed her.

He let himself into the medbay again, hoping and afraid that this time she won't be asleep, that this time she'll be awake.

"Vandal..?"

She'd asked about him a few times when she woke up. Always just missed him. But today, since nobody is around, she's awake. Sitting in bed, surrounding her, scattered across the sheets are dozens of malformed attempts at folded paper snowflakes, all of them aborted and haphazard.

She looks up from her latest attempt, her tired face animating slightly in surprise.

"Perce..." The paper slips from her fingers so she can reach out to him.

Perceptor's expression clouds over when he sees her, but he doesn't hesitate before crossing the room to the side of her berth, one hand reaching for her cautiously.

"Vandal-- Karrie. I..."

A dozen things well up, so much he wants to say, so much he wants to apologize for. He isn't even sure where to begin.

"I'm so sorry."

Taking his hand, just to hold, she looks it over, runs her fingers over the panels as if it's the first time seeing it.

"It's not your fault."

It's nobody's fault but Prism's. And probably her own.

He'd been one of the people who she thought of when things got bad. Seeing him now is... relief in a way.

She gives a shaky exhale.

"I missed you."

"I searched for you, but..."

His vocalizer falters with a small click, his hand delicately curling around her own.

"I'm so sorry, Karrie."

He crouches down to be more on her level, leaning in, eager to be close to her now that she's here, now that she's awake.

"I tried to visit, but you were asleep and... it didn't seem proper to disturb you."

"It's okay, Perce. I just-" Wanted to see you. She sighs.

"Thank you. For coming. And helping save me." She leans over against his arm, just craving the contact.

"We match now, you know."

She points to the gauze over her her missing eye.

"Gonna get an eyepatch. Maybe it'll glow like yours, eh?"

Perceptor manages a small smile, reaching up with this free hand to carefully stroke her cheek.

"We could probably arrange something like that."

His smile fades slightly as he looks at the gauze, another reminder of how he'd failed. How she'd bear the scars for the rest of her life.

"Are you comfortable here, Karrie? Is there anything I can do?"

That's a lot nicer than she cares to admit.

"I was joking but I wouldn't say no to cool glowing shit." Something to detract from the fact that she'll never have that eye again.

"Not really. I want to leave but I think the staff would go ballistic if I up and went. S'not like I can walk anyways." She frowns down at her hands.

"I'm bored, scared, in pain and exhausted and I can't even sleep alone." She sounds like she's whining.

"Sorry, I shouldn't act so-" Pathetic.

"Can you stay with me?"

"We can modify your patch, or replacement, to your specifications."

He'd promise her the sky if it would make her happy, right about now. Her request, though, creates a familiar pang.

"Of course."

He can remember how he felt, trapped in the medbay, after his own ordeal.

"All my other obligations are extraneous. I can remain as long as you wish me to."

His hand strokes down her back, cautious and gentle.

"As soon as you are able, I will help you leave the medbay. Until then, I will stay with you as much as possible."

"Yeah? I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." She really just wants her eye back in her head. To feel like a normal, not-ruined woman, but that's not going to happen.

It's a huge relief to hear him say he can stay as long as she wants. Honestly if she were really that selfish, she'd just keep him there with her for as long as she could.

Her eye lids slightly at the touch. God she never thought she'd marvel at how wonderful a comforting touch could be.

"Thank you so much," She sighs.

"Could you... I mean could I sit on you for a while? You know, just like we do after we go shooting?"

"Of course."

That's one request he can easily fulfill.

Perceptor gathers her up gently in his hands, lifting her so he can raise her to his chestplate. He takes a seat, leaning back, hands carefully tented over her in a protective shell.

"Is this alright?"

She drags the blanket with her when he picks her up, gingerly situating herself on his chest and abdomen, wincing at the pain of even moving. But he's far more comfortable than the bed to her. Wrapping the blanket around her (mostly) bare body (save for the extensive bandages), she settles to listen to the hum of his systems.

"Yes. Thank you."

More alright than it ought to be.

Perceptor settles, keeping still as Vandal makes herself comfortable on him. Her weight is barely anything, reinforcing just how small and fragile she seemed, and again he feels a surge of guilt at not being able to protect her, to find her.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, Karrie."

Both to see her in the medbay, and to rescue her.

"Better late than never," She mumbles against the glass of his chest plate.

"You're here now." He's here and he's comfortable and most of all, he's safe. She's settled by the fact that he'll stay with her here, even if she feels like a burden, the desire to not be alone is much stronger.

"I know now isn't the time, but..."

He hesitates, fingers curling a little tighter around her.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, someone to listen, I am here."

He knows, more than most people, how it will be a while before Vandal will wish to discuss her ordeal, and he knows that forcing her to speak would only create more trouble. The best he can offer is a friendly ear when she's ready on her own terms.

"Thank you, Perce." She'll take him up on it eventually. She still has a lot of things to say and he's the only one still out of the loop. She screwed things up so badly with Drift and Wing, though, now she's not sure.

Not something she wants to tackle right now, nor talking about what happened with Prism.

She scratches under his chin with shaking hands, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"I don't know what I did to deserve people like you."

"You're a good person, Karrie, and we care about you very much. I care about you very much."

He reaches up to stroke her hair, mindful of the bandages around her face, hesitating only briefly before leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Just remember that we are with you."

Well that makes her want to cry for different reasons entirely. She's usually fairly affectionate with these mechs. It's easy, there's some amount of separation that makes it comfortable. But rarely do they return it so readily.

"I- yes. I care about you a lot, too. I'm glad you're here with me. Probably more than you know."

Despite the pain she'd gone through. The unspeakable things, at the very least she has this still. Worth more than anything.

"I am happy to be here, Karrie."

It's really the least he can do after everything. She was there for him, after all, after his ordeal with Overlord. Keeping him company during his recovery, when he'd felt so scared and helpless.

He gives her another careful squeeze.

"You should try to sleep. It will help you to heal."

"I know I just-" Her hands tighten, a comparably weak grip to what she's usually like.

"Just. Don't leave me. Keep holding me. Please." She's far too terrified of being alone, the contact and constant hum and vibration lets her know someone is still there.

Even if Prism is gone, the damage was done.

"I won't move until you wake up."

He can do that much. Verbal comfort isn't his forte, but he can be there physically for her. He has nothing on his agenda more important than her, and he's more than willing to stay by her side until First Aid or one of the other medics shoos him away.

That's just fine with her. She settles down and drifts off with no problem, lulled by the comforting sounds of the mech she's sleeping on.

It's incredibly nice, compared to how things have been.

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Hallways always [OPEN]

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