Chasing a lie I thought I believed in

[littlecrowgirl]

WHO: Kay and whoever stumbles upon her.

WHERE: Junkpile

WHEN: Today

WHAT: Kay's exploring the Junkpile for some items. If you cross her path and talk to her she'll most likely find an item for you.

WARNINGS: She's a little grumpy after being embarrassed in front of Alpha Trion. Feel like cheering her up?

There's nothing worse than being made a fool in front of your idol.  And Kay had learned that all too quickly.  Cliffjumper had not only pranked her into thinking he'd been turned into a guitar (a guitar that was now gone, whether by Trion's correction or her own disposal), but some things, like your own competence shouldn't be called out on.  At least that's how Kay saw it.  But bottling yourself up in your room was getting old, so she took it outside, trekking all the way to the Junkpile to relieve some teenage-girl steam.  Although this didn't keep her from her promise to Kagerou either.  She sent a text to the robot saying she'd meet him there if he was well enough to go.

From pile to pile she leapt, searching for anything and everything.  There wasn't much to find that didn't get scavenged earlier, but it provided a great distraction from everything.  She sat crouched, examining what looked to be a whisk before tossing it to the side, scanning this pile once more.

"Stupid."

Whether she was talking about the whisk or something else was to be debated.  She flipped her hair out of the way, giving a big sigh before hoisting herself to her feet.

Maybe the next pile would have something.

Comments

[thxforthememories]

"What does that have to do with... any of this?"

It's sort of weird to do, but he tries to look down at her hand, without moving his head. He's only mildly successful. And also silent. For several moments longer than he should be.

Maybe all of them are right...

"I love someone."

He just. Blurts it out. Quickly and sharply, as if he's afraid to lose his nerve before the words fully form.

[littlecrowgirl]

"Just because we're different doesn't mean that we can't say 'I love you' any different, you know."

That gets a reaction out of her. The 'I love someone' thing. Her hand quickly retreats, eyes wide. Not that she was offended, in fact, quite the opposite.

"Y-You do?"

[thxforthememories]

"It doesn't?"

He looks away, sharply. If he were human, he'd likely have blushed. As it was... all he did was shift in place, wings flicking, mantling.

"Everyone tells me that I do..." he admits, quietly. "... When I tell them about him."

[littlecrowgirl]

"Of course it doesn't! Love doesn't have any barriers."

When he turns that head away, she leans over again, attempting to pull it back to face her. Which is...about as hard as it sounds.

"Your friend, right?"

[thxforthememories]

"It could. If you weren't... in the same world as the one you loved."

He lets her turn his head. Otherwise, she'd have been struggling with an impossible task the entire evening. Although... he does keep his gaze averted.

"... Yes. Him."

[littlecrowgirl]

When his head turns, she leans on those fingers like so, smiling at him. Really, she couldn't have been more proud if she tried.

"That's so sweet, Mr. Kagerou."

[thxforthememories]

He makes a huffing noise, close enough to a sputter. He's not sure why this is embarrassing. Maybe because it's something... that's never going to be.

"As you say."

[littlecrowgirl]

"What, you don't think so?"

She gives a slight giggle.

[thxforthememories]

He shifts again, still avoiding looking at her.

"I don't... know what I think."

[littlecrowgirl]

"Love isn't a bad thing, though..."

She looks down.

"I've never felt it the way you probably do. So that's something that you know that I don't!"

[thxforthememories]

"Isn't it? In all situations?"

He doesn't think it is -- not with the way things have turned out in his own situation. He doesn't even know if the feeling would be... if he would be right to feel this way.

How does he do anything without his other half's lead?

"I've only recently been told about it," he says, trying to be more... reassuring. "It's not much to compare to."

[littlecrowgirl]

"But it's something," she reassures back, giving a slight giggle. "It's supposed to be a really exciting feeling! From what I've read."

She starts climbing up that arm, towards his shoulder.

[thxforthememories]

"I don't feel excited."

He blinks, gaping at her a little. What is she doing? That can't be safe. And yet he doesn't stop her. He just keeps perfectly still as she climbs around.

"More the opposite."

[littlecrowgirl]

"Well...can you explain why?"

She was a little curious as to why Kagerou wasn't happy about being in love. Maybe it was-

"Is it unrequited?"

[thxforthememories]

It's a long time before he responds. Maybe he doesn't want to admit it, even to himself. But it's a possibility.

"Maybe." He cycles air. "I have no way of knowing."

[littlecrowgirl]

Her little hands grip a seam in that armor, hoisting herself up to his shoulder.

"Well, then it's not necessarily a yes..."

[thxforthememories]

He ends up having to look at her out of the corner of his eye. And tilt his head back.

"It isn't a 'no', either. It's... as I said. I have no way of knowing. One way or another."

[littlecrowgirl]

"Oh...I get it."

She shifts a little bit to make it easier for him to see.

"You want to know...but can't."

[thxforthememories]

He pauses, considering that, and then nods, slowly.

"Yes. It's... just like that."

Because even if he could know, there's the risk he's the only one who feels this way. The risk of saying something to hurt what it is they had.

So maybe it's better not to say anything at all.

[littlecrowgirl]

She swings her legs idly, thinking it over for a few minutes. It was a smart move, not saying anything about it. You couldn't get hurt, and you couldn't hurt anyone because of it. But...

"It seems like you're hiding it, though. What if they love you too?"

Not that he could find out, but hypotheses were always there.

[thxforthememories]

"And if not?"

He keeps studying her. It's probably creepier because, really, he doesn't have a need to blink. If he does it at all, it's for reaction purposes.

"If you say nothing... then nothing changes between you two. You won't... break anything."

[littlecrowgirl]

"...If your friend felt the same way and hid it from you, wouldn't you have liked to know?"

She's a little silent after that.

[thxforthememories]

"I..."

His wings flick, flattening against his back. He looks uncomfortable. Likely, because he doesn't have a good answer for that.

"There isn't any sense in talking about this. He's not here."

[littlecrowgirl]

She could tell he felt uncomfortable, and decided to drop the subject. With Kagerou, it was best when HE told YOU, instead of forcing it out of him. She slid down his arm, gripping the metal with her hands as she hopped back into his hand, looking at the junkpile.

"Well, maybe someday."

That was all she would speak of it, spotting something in that heap.

"Hmmm..."

[thxforthememories]

Once more, he holds perfectly still as she climbs around. He doesn't want her to fall. Not that he couldn't catch her. But still. Instead of saying anything though, he just watches. No need to discuss this.

Not any further.

"What is it?"