re_alignment_logs | To see you before I go... [CLOSED]

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To see you before I go... [CLOSED]

Who: New!Drift and New!Wing.
What: Meeting up before the FF call everyone to them. They know it's coming.
Where: The Hub, their room.
When: After Unicron shows up in the sky, and before the FF call their marked to them.
Warnings: A couple of hippies being feely and emotional (and one is drunk)

Wing couldn't deny that he was afraid. Unicron, the destroyer of worlds, was finally here, coming for them; who wouldn't be afraid? He sat in his room, on the floor before his berth. He'd made sure his short swords were in top shape, fully charged, and now he sat with his great sword across his knees. There was no preparation needed with this weapon, not of the physical sort anyway. He sat quietly, meditating, praying, just preparing his spark for the fight to come.

Another thing on his mind of Drift. He couldn't help but wonder where his roommate had gotten off to, and he hoped the other mech was doing what he needed to prepare for the coming fight. It was only a matter of time before the First Forged called them to come fight for their very existence. Pulling a deep vent Wing pushed to his feet, shifting the great sword to his back. He couldn't go into this fight without speaking to Drift one more time, and so he needed to go find the mech.

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Wing wouldn't have to look far. After a totally responsible and completely unplanned trip to the bar, Drift slammed the door to their shared living space wide open and ungracefully stumbled into the room, looking a little bit frazzled and quite a bit tipsy as all hell.

That was totally a good sign right there, wasn't it.

"Wing! I need to... I gotta talk to you!"

Kind of as a half drunken after thought, he spun around, wobbled like an idiot, and closed the door.

Wing actually jumped when Drift slammed into the room. He frowned, first in concern, then in annoyance. They had a fight to prepare for, a fight far more important than the one to protect the citizens of Crystal City, and Drift was getting drunk?!

It took every ounce of self control to not facepalm and to keep his voice level. "All right, come sit and we'll talk."

Just vent, Wing...just vent.

Don't worry he's only a little drunk it's okay Wing shhhhhh.

Drift crossed the room and plunked down onto his berth next to where Wing was seated on the floor. He was kind of probably trying not to look worried, but failing spectacularly. He'd thought over all the things he'd wanted to say in his head for the past couple hours. Unfortunately, he'd also been drinking with Knock Out and Sentinel for the past couple hours, so all that rehearsing he'd done in his head was pretty much just. Gone.

"Look, I got somethin' to say and... and I know what you're gonna say to it, but I'm gonna say it anyway."

He actually didn't seem to have any idea how he was going to say it though, so he just blurted out the first thing that came into his head.

"Wing, I don't want you out there."

All anger drained instantly from Wing, replaced with shock. Did he just hear that? Is that why Drift was drunk, he was worried about losing Wing again?

Wing shifted and sat on the berth by Drift, turned to look at the other swordsmech. "You know I can't do that, Drift." His voice was soft, accompanied by a gentle hand resting on Drift's knee.

Replace worried with completely terrified then yes.

Drift's other knee bounced nervously. This was exactly what he'd expected, but it didn't make it any easier.

"I... I know that, Wing. I know. I just- I don't feel good about this. Like, at all. I don't want you out there."

Yeah, he'd already said it, but sounding redundant wasn't really the first concern on his mind.

Wing gave him a gentle smile. "I know. I don't want you out there either." He reached to put his hand on Drift's other knee to try to stop the bouncing, then gently pulled Drift into a hug.

Drift dropped to the floor with Wing, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Maybe a little too tightly, but hey.

"I don't want to lose you again, Wing. Please don't. Please."

Wing clung to Drift, hugging back just as tightly. "I'm sorry, Drift, but I can't stay back and do nothing. You know I can't, anymore than you can. I can't promise that any of us will make it, but we have to try, all of us who can."

Drift nodded slowly and hid his face in Wing's shoulder.

Wing was right. Well, of course he was, Wing was always right. That didn't make any of this any easier.

"I'm gonna protect you this time. I'm gonna do my best, I promise."

Wing pushed back, hands on Drift's shoulders to keep him in place and ducking to catch those blue optics. "You can't focus on me. You can't. You can't afford a distraction like that. Fight beside me, fight as far away from me as you can, but either way, you can't put your focus to protecting me."

He knew this all too well. He...he'd died because of it, because of letting down his guard, because of letting his focus move to Drift instead of his opponent. He didn't want to lose Drift either, and couldn't let him go into battle determined to hold Wing as a distraction from the start.

Drift stared for a moment, surprised at first, and then a little pissed. And then a lot pissed. He didn't make any movements to pull away, but he dropped his hands to his knees, curling them into loose fists.

"Like hell I can't! I'm not going to let anything happen to you, not again! Not this time!"

"Please listen to me, Drift. Please!" Wing couldn't keep the edge of desperation from his voice. "Please don't let me become a distraction for you. I don't want you to die just because you're too focused on keeping me alive. Please, I...can't lose you like that."

He pulled Drift closer again, not into a hug, but close enough to press his forehelm to Drift's. "Fight with me, Drift, but don't let me be a distraction for you."

Drift was still pretty pissed, but he seemed to calm down at least a little bit.

"I can't promise that. Yes, I'm going to fight with you, but if anything happens to you, I'm going to stop what I'm doing and I'm going to help you."

At least he was honest. Drunk honest, but still honest.

"Just please don't do something stupid and get yourself killed over me. Make sure you're safe before you come to my aid?" He...he knew that was asking a lot, especially in the heat of battle.

"I don't want to lose you either, Drift..." A part of him wanted to stay as far away from Drift as possible while they fought, so he wouldn't be distracted by what might be happening with Drift, and the other part of him wanted to stay close, to help protect the one he cared so much about.

"I can't... I don't..."

Drift slumped, his gaze falling to his hands. As good as he was at writing other people's speeches, he sucked when it came to putting this kind of stuff into words. While intoxicated. Still.

"I'm not gonna die. I just... don't. It never happens. I stabbed myself straight through the spark once and I survived. I've been so close to death so many times, but every time I bounce back while good people fall around me. People that don't deserve it. You didn't deserve it, and I'm not going to let it happen again."

Wing gathered Drift to him again, hugging fiercely. "Drift, I..." He didn't know what to say. So he just held Drift, clung to him as though the tighter he hugged the better he could make this whole situation.

"I'm sorry."

He wasn't entirely sure what he was apologizing for. It was just the default thing to say for him these days.

He hesitated a bit before hugging Wing back. Actually, he didn't hug him back at all. Instead, because he's totally mature, he crawled into his lap obnoxiously and curled up like he owned the place. Apparently he'd been hanging out with the cats too much.

"Sorry."

And he was going to keep mumbling that, too.

"Shhh. Don't apologize for caring about someone, Drift." Wing didn't mind at all having Drift in his lap, shifting to get more comfortable, and keeping Drift hugged close to him.

"I love you," he whispers, almost afraid to say it. He'd never really thought about his relationship with Drift until the other him and other Drift showed up, conjux enduras... He'd not thought about it until then, but he really did love Drift's company, had from the start, even when he'd been mopey and difficult. At the time he'd caulked his enjoyment of the other mech up to being someone new, something new to do with his days. In those few short weeks he'd just felt...like he'd managed to connect with Drift. Perhaps that connection was deeper than he'd first suspected, perhaps he was just reading too much into it after seeing an alternate of himself and the swordsmech in his arms as life partners.

He wished he had more time, more time to explore these feelings, decide what he really felt for this Drift, his roommate, his student, his friend. But the final battle was here, and he couldn't let those three little words go unsaid.

"What?"

Drift leaned back a bit, studying Wing's face closely. It had been so quiet, Drift wasn't entirely sure if Wing had even said anything at all. Plus there was the fact that Drift was kind of on the tipsy side. Maybe he was hearing things? He'd kick himself for being so irresponsible later, but there was still a little time to focus on the now.

And as of about three seconds ago the "now" was kind of weirdly intimidating. If he'd just heard what he thought he'd just heard... well. He'd probably be able to get a lot more off his chest. Maybe.

"What did you say? Wing, tell me what you said. Please."

Wing just gazed at Drift for a long moment. Pulling a vent he finally did speak again, voice still soft, but this time audible. "I love you. I said, I love you."

Drift's face shifted into this awkward cross between mortified, surprised, and really, really emotional. But mostly just mortified.

"...Your timing is fraggin' horrible."

Still, he managed to calm himself down enough to not do or say something stupid.

Well, stupider.

Wing's gaze dropped away then to somewhere across the room where he wasn't actually seeing what was there. "I know," he answered softly.

Still, he...had to say it. "I'm sorry...about the timing." He really would have liked more time, this almost felt pathetically desperate to him, but he...he wanted Drift to know, before they faced this great force.

"Wing? Wing, it's okay."

Drift raised a hand, gently, if not a bit clumsily, turning Wing's face towards his.

"Truth is, I... well, on my way over I kind of panicked, but originally I was going to... I mean. Wait, this sounds like rubbish, lemmie start over."

Drift took a deep vent, pausing to collect his thoughts because Primus in roboheaven he was butchering this so badly already.

"You know how important you are to me. I know I've told you multiple times. I was probably getting annoying, but I meant every word of it. Everything I am now, I owe to you. You saved me. I love you, Wing. I love you so much, but I... I didn't know how to say it. Or maybe I was afraid to. I mean, I figure there are bigger things to be afraid of now, huh?"

Wing's face is easily turned back. He smiles as Drift rambles at him, and instead of answering that question he leans in to hug Drift again, face tucked against the other mech's neck.

This isn't how he saw these confessions going, but there is was. He was glad it was out, glad they'd had this chance before the fighting....even if it might make it harder to keep Drift focused on the threat instead of him....oops.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off Drift's shoulders. He practically collapsed into Wing, wrapping his arms around him the best he could from his awkward lap position. He made it work.

He sat there in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying Wing's presence, maybe almost dozing off before he catches himself.

"Oh um. Sorry. For the uh. Drinking. That was stupid. This is... I knew better."

And back around to square one. Wing's lips curled in a wry smile against Drift's shoulder. "Yes, it was stupid. You need to be sober when going into a fight, no matter how little high-grade a mech drinks it still impairs his judgement."

He pulls a vent and turns his face to nuzzle at Drift's neck a little. He just...couldn't be upset about it anymore. He knew he should be, for Drift's sake, and frankly it scared him that Drift was inebriated, but he couldn't be mad at the mech for it.

"I know, I know. I just... had a lot on my mind, I guess. I wasn't sure how to deal with it. Stupid excuse, I know, but if it's as bad as everyone seems to think it's going to be, this could be our last night together. I hope to Primus it doesn't come to that, but... It doesn't look good. The odds don't seem to be in our favor."

Drift lazily plopped a hand down on Wing's helm, staring up at the ceiling of their room silently for a few moments.

"I'm scared, I guess. I mean, I've been fighting for four million years, you'd think I'd be used to this sort of thing by now."

Wing lifted his head to look at Drift, guiding the mech's hand to his shoulder so it didn't just drop awkwardly. "So you've faced him before? Back in our world?"

"No, no, I mean. Just war in general. First against the Autobots, then the Decepticons. It just doesn't stop. Hell, the war was finally over back home, and there was still fighting. I know fighting's all I'm good at, but that doesn't mean I have to be comfortable with it."

Drift sighed, shifting in Wing's lam and resting his head against his shoulder.

"This feels bigger than all of that, though. We're in over our heads this time."

Wing snuggled Drift close. "It is bigger than all of that, and there's nothing wrong with being afraid. I'm afraid too. But that won't stop us. We'll fight, with all we have. Light will prevail." If not now, then at some point, of that he had no doubt.

"Life persists."

He kind of mumbled it thoughtfully, nuzzling obnoxiously into Wing.

"Lets just... hope the call to arms doesn't come for another couple hours. My fingers are kind of numb."

Okay, now Wing finally facepalms, letting out a vented sigh. Really, Drift? Really? You drank that much?

"If it does come sooner, it might be a good idea for you to wait a bit before going out to fight."

Okay maybe it was completely inappropriate, but Drift giggled at the facepalm. Oops huh.

"I'll be okay."

"Mn. This is an important fight, Drift. You really should be at your best...or at least sober..."

Wing sighed and looked at the mech curled up in his arms. You big dork, he doesn't know about you sometimes.

"Unless you know any get sober quick tricks, it's just going to have to run it's course."

Drift doesn't always make the best decisions. If they survive this he'll work on it.

"I hadn't really intended to drink anything at all, I stopped at the bar to talk to Knock Out and then I got caught up chatting with Sentinel. You know, the guy with the chin."

"And so you ended up mindlessly drinking as you sat and talked with them?" He...just can't be angry about it. He's certainly not amused, and...not even sure he could say he's annoyed, but he's not angry.

"How are they handling things?" If they're in the bar, he's guessing "not well."

"More or less. Had a good talk with them, though. Maybe it's just the high grade talking, but I almost feel like I've learned more about myself in the past few hours than I have in the last couple million years. Funny how the end of the world affects people."

Drift's pretty okay with Wing not being angry. Pretty super okay with it. He still feels bad about it, though.

"As well as you can expect."

Wing shakes his head, snuggling Drift a little closer. "Knowing yourself is a good thing." At least there's that.

"Getting drunk as well?" There's an edge of sadness and sympathy for them...

"Drinking, yes. I don't know about getting drunk. Or, not as bad as me, at least. I think I'm a bit of a light weight. People are scared, Wing. They're not all as good at coping with it as... as other people."

he shakes his head, growing more and more annoyed with himself as he sits there. He can't really change what he's already done, but still.

"I know people are scared. People have every right to be afraid with what we are to face." He's scared, but he's also...ready. He's ready to go, ready to fight, just as he was ready to face the slavers alone to defend Crystal City. He knew he'd not survive that fight, he's...not sure he'll survive this one either, but he's just as ready to do what needs to be done.

Drift isn't concerned about his own safety. He isn't afraid of dying, but he's honestly terrified of the idea of losing Wing, of losing everyone he's met here and ending up alone. He knows it's stupid, but it's kind of hard to break out of that mindset.

"I used to think I was as strong as you, y'know? I guess I still have a ways to go."

"Honestly? I think you are stronger than I am, Drift." He still had a lot to learn, but he was strong, of that Wing had no doubt.

Well hell, Drift hadn't expected to hear that from Wing. Like ever. He leaned back and just stared at the Jet for a few seconds, as though he was speaking some weird alien language.

"How the hell do you figure that?"

[Wing chuckled at Drift's reaction.] In many ways, Drift. You've overcome so much, you've changed more than you realized. That takes incredible strength.

[Drift puffed his cheeks a bit in response to the chuckling. Punk don't laugh.]

It wasn't easy, I'll give you that, but it never would have happened if I hadn't met you.

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To see you before I go... [CLOSED]

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