A final decision

[mccrane]

Who: McCrane and YOU
What: The ex-police commander has been thinking about what new direction he wants to take after loosing members of the Brave Police again. It's been the usual quiet McCrane, out wandering and patrolling the edges of the Haven over the past month or so while Blurr takes over the Enforcers. Now, he needs someone to kick him back into being social again.
Where: Wandering! McCrane can be encountered anywhere, though less likely in one of the temples.
When: Now-ish.
Notes:
Since I've been away for a bit, my assumption with McCrane has been that he's been in an introspective funk, passing the police over to Blurr after realizing what Prowl had been up to and after loosing more members of the Brave Police. It can also be assumed he was around for the Zone event, though he would have been participating only as needed to help keep people safe. Feel free to put him there or away for any other events according to what would be easiest for your character!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


McCrane had not felt like being anywhere, and so he'd travelled everywhere.

It was an unusual feeling. Always, he'd had a place with the Brave Police and with the Enforcement squad. He'd known being commander was a difficult task that he was not entirely prepared for, and he'd worked hard to be as good as he remembered Deckard being. There had been more than one time in which he'd questioned his role, but he'd survived in it somehow.

Then, when Deckard had come back and when he'd realized how Prowl had been manipulating him, it had all started to unravel again. He had not felt comfortable being in charge of the entire force. He longer for command of a smaller group, working on smaller missions, combining skills to accomplish greater tasks. Deckard would make a better chief of police. So would Blurr. Together, they'd be even more incredible...though he suspected that, like him, Deckard would need some time to become acclimatized to Cybertrons ways.

When the other Brave police had started disappearing, he'd stood up one day and left Headquarters, heading out for the badlands. Half-way out he'd stopped.

He did not want to go looking, beause he knew what he'd find. He also did not want to return to headquarters, because of what he wouldn't find.

It was easier to make no decision at all, and stay on the edges of the Haven. He could set up posts that would make good sniper bushes in case of a monster attack, and he could make other preparations for if the badlands ever tried an incursion on the Haven again. He would be ready, and if Blurr or Deckard or Gunmax needed him they could still call.

That would be enough...

And for a while, it was enough.

Now, it didn't feel like enough anymore. He'd set up more bushes than he could possibly use, and he'd marked every piece of useful high ground. There was nothing left for him out here, but he didn't know how to go back.

What would he do now? What would he say?

He could wander forever, and that would be easy...but it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be what a member of the Brave Police would do.

It was time to return...so why was that still so hard to do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comments

Trion's lake...?

[raceme]

It had been a long time since McCrane and Blurr had a proper talk. The speeder was worried about his friend but there was always some problem or another taking all of his time, either int he Haven or the Headquarters.

But he did not forget and while McCrane had been avoiding everyone, Blurr was a trained Intel agent and former spy used to finding people who didn't want to be found.

He finally spot him by Trion's lake and approached him slowly, making his presence known instead of rushing to his side and startle him.

"Ey."

Perfect~

[mccrane]

McCrane was surprised to see Blurr approaching...

But he did not turn away from his friend. While he was torn between missing companionship and actively avoiding companionship, now that companionship was presented he was not going to exert any effort to deterr it.

He wanted to see Blurr, besides.

"You're under the speed limit," he said, not smiling but still attempting the closest thing to a joke that he could manage.

OUT IN THE WILDS SOMEWHERE

[thxforthememories]

He was... worried. To say the least. He'd kept mostly out of things, ever since Kay had gone on her mission. It just didn't feel the same without her. Shadowmaru's revelation had been a distraction, but after that... he'd kept himself preoccupied watching for her.

Waiting for her.

So he'd seen the crane trundling along. He'd assumed McCrane had some duty taking him out so far. But when he hadn't seen him return... he'd worried.

Seeing him return made him pause only for a moment before he stepped off the ledge, falling into flight. If something were going on with the other BP, he wanted to know. They'd been through too much together not to.

He doesn't say anything as he flies overhead, landing right in McCrane's path.

Re: OUT IN THE WILDS SOMEWHERE

[mccrane]

Utterly lost in thought, McCrane was too distracted to notice the approach of the ninja policeman. Kagerou was good at staying silent, even in the air.

When he did finally break out of his reverie at Kagerou's arrival, it was with no small amount of shock, his hand moving for his rifle on his back...and then stopping, half way, as he processed who it was.

Kagerou.

"...I..." he started to speak, ready with what might have been an excuse for staying away for so long...but he could not finish it.

"I am late, aren't I."

[thxforthememories]

The reaction was... probably more of a relief than it should have been. It meant McCrane wasn't surprised to see him. Wasn't surprised to see he was alive. That he'd expected, in some way, to see a living prototype.

Therefore... his memories must be intact.

Some of the tension eased out of the tall frame, and his expression flickered between hurt and relief. Before it closed off again, while he buried the feelings down.

"Where were you?"

[mccrane]

Where had he been?

That was not an easy question to answer. He'd been out here, of course, but that did not explain why. He didn't have any reason to be out here. He'd just been...

"Waiting."

He'd been waiting. He'd been hoping that someone would come wandering back from the badlands, or hoping that something would fall down from the lambda that he recognized, or hoping that something would go right.

"I have been waiting too long." He dipped his head, ashamed. "But it has felt so wrong to return empty handed. I have made so many mistakes."

He had held the police force together for so long, but then there'd been Prowl. He hadn't even seen that coming.

"I thought we were built to know what to do in difficult situations...but I do not. I do not know what to do right now."

Kagerou was one of the few people he felt he could admit that to. They'd been through so much together, here.

[thxforthememories]

"You have?"

There was an odd quality of skepticism in his voice. And his expression. His head cocked to one side, looking McCrane up and down. "Out of both of us, who has made poorer choices?"

He spoke of things back home, of course. Of the fact McCrane still lived. Of the fact McCrane had everything he could want -- family, friends. And here, the other BP had made a name for himself, made an impression.

He shook his head. "And you believe that I do?" he asked, quietly. "I... have been standing in the same place, waiting, ever since Kay left. McCrane..."

It was supposed to make the other BP feel better. He wasn't sure if it was succeeding or not.

"I'm not the one to ask. Not about these things." He glanced back the way he'd come, after a moment, before adding. "But you can stand with me, until we figure it out."

[mccrane]

Out of the both of them...

They both had regrets. So many regrets. "We have just been trying to live. Maybe...we both thought we could do what we could not actually do. Maybe there are parts of life which are too difficult for us."

He did not blame Kagerou for any of Kagerou's mistakes, however...and he could not imagine that Kagerou blamed him for his. It made him feel a little better, knowing that.

"If you will stand with me, Kagerou, then maybe the things which seem to hard to do will be possible for us?"

McCrane had been build to interact with others, and to be on a team. Without a team, he felt like nothing...but Kagerou knew what that was like. Kagerou had been built with a small team, too.

IUNNO OUT SOMEWHERE OR OTHER

[badboybikerbot]

It was kind of hard to miss the fact that McCrane had been in some sort of giant weenie funk lately. When he was actually around, anyway. Which seemed rare these days. All things considered, Gunmax figured the crane had some things to work out, and didn't really want to bother him. The bike cop kind of sucked at talking anyway, and he knew if he was in a weird funk he wouldn't want to be bothered. Which was fine and all, but when McCrane just wasn't around anymore, he couldn't help but get worried.

He'd been out patrolling when he'd just happened to spot weenie McCrane trundling along, doing whatever it was that McCrane does. Rather than approach him like a decent person, he pulled his bike up behind him and revved the engine obnoxiously.

And that's it. He didn't even say anything, Just revved Gunbike's engine. A+ communication.

Re: IUNNO OUT SOMEWHERE OR OTHER

[mccrane]

McCrane had heard the engine approaching for some time...but he'd kept walking. Hearing engines on a planet of transforming robots was becoming commonplace to him, even if he still missed the sound of Nanamagiri city. He'd been built for police work on Earth...

...But Earth felt so long ago, to him. He'd lived on Cybertron for the majority of his life, and it had started to become his home.

With such introspective thoughts distracting him, McCrane failed to recognise the sound of the engine until it was close. He failed to think on who it might be and he failed to think it was specifically coming for him...but he did not fail to jump into the air when the engine revved.

He knew who it was, now.

"Gunmax?!"

Turning around, McCrane still looked more than a little frazzled.

"You...you're disturbing the peace!"

There wasn't a law against it, of course, but it was the first statement that came into his head.

[badboybikerbot]

Okay, that was probably the best reaction ever. Gunmax grinned like the cocky prick that he so is, holding his hands up defensively.

"Whoops, huh. You gonna write me a ticket? Hop on, you can read me my rights."

[mccrane]

"I do not have my papers on me..." He said, staring, as if that were the only logical reason that he wasn't writing a ticket for the rebellious cop right now.

"The law committee never released an official list of rules, however. You could likely get away with anything." Noise was probably the least of their concerns right now, considering the zombies and the radiation which had been problems not long ago. Gunmax was much too valuable, besides, for anyone to mind his playful attitude.

At the invitation, however, McCrane managed to look utterly stunned. "You want me to get on?"

He was not going to object. He wanted the company too badly to object...but he wanted to make absolutely sure before complying.

[badboybikerbot]

"I already get away with everything. You don't even wanna know."

Gunmax just gave him a cocky grin, revving Gunbike's engine. No, he wasn't going to elaborate on that. Not at all.

"Did I stutter? You're in some kinda weird McCrane funk, and I'm gonna get you out of it. Get on."

[mccrane]

"McCrane funk..."

At the rev of the engine, his eyes widen the slightest bit...wondering just how much Gunmax really does get away with.

If the motorcycle cop is guilty, however, McCrane is certain that the entire Haven is better off for it. For right now...he wants the company, and so he decides to get on the bike.

"Do you have a plan?"

[badboybikerbot]

"Do I ever have a plan?"

Once McCrane was securely on the bike, Gunmax took off. "Why don't you tell me what's eating at you, and we'll go from there?"

Anywhere you like, really

[notyourblueangel]

Thundercracker scanned for McCrane as he flew his patrols. It'd become habit. The Earth-built mech seemed to need a bit of looking after in recent months as some unspoken sadness, a brokenness even, seemed to have settled into the mech's spark. Or heart. Or…whatever it was the Earth-bots called their center of being.

The Seeker wanted to help but didn't know how. Or if he could at all, even. Two years ago – had he really been here almost that long now? – he wouldn't have bothered, not for a non-Cybertronian and certainly not for a non-Decepticon (not for another 'Con either, but that was beside the point). He wasn't sure if he'd have even noticed. Now?

McCrane was someone the weary veteran trusted, someone he respected, both of which attributes were hard-earned from the old Seeker. Ultra Magnus had been the one who accepted him as a member of the police force, but it was McCrane who had cemented it, giving Thundercracker a place and group to belong to when he desperately needed one. He even considered the mech his friend, just didn't know if McCrane thought the same of him. McCrane had certainly looked out for him enough times. The least he could do was try to offer the same.

Thundercracker spotted his friend among the rocks below. Most times, he left the Earth-bot alone, respecting his seeming desire for solitude. This time, something told him solitude was not what was needed, and he found himself descending before he'd completed the thought.

Transforming, he landed lightly on his feet just enough distance from McCrane to not startle or threaten him. "McCrane." He nodded his head in greeting, then tilted it slightly as he folded his arms. "You seem lost." Not lost as in "don't know location" – the other kind was what he meant.

He was no longer a Decepticon, but unfortunately his social skills hadn't improved any because of it yet either.

Re: Anywhere you like, really

[mccrane]

McCrane had heard the approach of the jet for some time, looking to the skies to try spotting the well-camoflaged Thndercracker. He'd been here long enough to know the different sounds...the low thrum of Kagerou's glide, the mid-pitch of Drill Boy's canter, and the piercing shriek of Cybertronian engines, built for slicing through the air.

It did not surprise him when Thundercracker dropped down, and it did not surprise him when the other showed concern...but even if the conversation was a bit rough, he could not help but appreciate the company. Thundercracker was not a member of the Brave Police, but he had become a valued member of the enforcers. Perhaps that perspective could help him now.

"Maybe I am. I was not given a schematic that mapped emotions when I was built. I still have trouble navigating through them."

He glanced back, looking towards the center of the Haven. "I feel like I am still doing something wrong by being out here...but when I think about going back?"

It hurt, too.

[notyourblueangel]

Thundercracker tried unsuccessfully to suppress a soft huff –something that wanted to be a bit of a chuckle, really –at the first comment and shook his head.  "Don't know if anyone has a schematic for emotions.  Everyone has to learn to navigate.  Some do it better than others, and some never quite seem to learn."  He wondered sometimes if he himself were closer to the latter end of things than the former, though even he was better than some he could think of.  All of them Decepticons, come to think of it –imagine that.  "For what it's worth, you do better than many I've known."

  The old Seeker studied his friend.  If what he'd heard of the Earth-bots was true, none of them were older than two solar cycles, even combining both their times here and back on Earth.  To put it in terms McCrane might best relate to, it was saying he was only days or even hours –mere minutes? –old compared to someone like Thundercracker.  And to think of all that McCrane had been through at least since arriving here…

  Thundercracker didn't know how it was with the Autobots, but with Decepticons . . . the old ones like him had known a life before war, before the widespread strife that had become their daily norm since.  They'd lived through the transitions and had time to adjust.  The newer ones, like Jadewing, were simply thrown into things and force to, as he'd heard humans put it, "sink or swim."  And Thundercracker had seen at least as many sink as swim.  The Seeker knew that McCrane and the other Earth-bots had a much different experience –both back home and even here, where at least there was no active, ongoing war –but he wondered if the principles weren't the same, in essence.  Whatever life had been like back home for McCrane for however long he'd lived it, he'd had no mentors nor even really peers significantly older them him from which to learn and on which to lean.  From what Deckard had told Thundercracker of their situation back home, McCrane and his few fellows had only had each other to muddle through both daily life and Life In General.  Then to be pulled from that and thrust into a place like this, with its hardships, its shortages, and its dangers?  At such an unimaginably young age?

  He didn't know what to say to the last.  But he should say something at least.

 "Tell me, McCrane . . . what exactly was the purpose you were built for?"  Maybe remembering the basics would help…?

[mccrane]

"Thank you, Thundercracker," McCrane said, quietly. "I mean that."

He had not considered himself successful at navigating emotions by any means...but he did understand what his friend meant. There had been others who had not been able to control their emotions...and while McCrane always defaulted to trying to stifle emotions instead of working with them, he'd still managed to get his work done.

Because of that, TC's next question seemed like a logical extrapolation. "What...was I built for?"

Well.

That actually required thought. "The Brave police were built to protect Nanamagiri city from the rising threat of extreme elements. My own specialization is as a tactical officer, and also as the leader of the Build Team." It was important that they be able to handle natural disasters as well as villains, after all.

He...he had not been able to do that as well, lately. Without the entirety of Build Team....

"I have not been performing those duties," he stated dismally. "Without my team, I have never felt completely whole." Leading the police force had fulfilled some part of that in him...but even that had not turned out the way he'd expected it to.

"What am I supposed to do, when what I've been built for is not what I'm capable of?"

Hi-ho headcanon... ^,^;;; (re: trines, trinebond)

[notyourblueangel]

"Without my team, I have never felt completely whole."

Thundercracker nodded. "The feeling of incompleteness - I can relate. I'm here without my trine. That's still hard sometimes." A hand strayed to his canopy, indirectly to his spark where the sense of two others who should be there...wasn't. Since exchanging a bond with Starscream and Skywarp eons ago, Thundercracker had never really been without his trine until coming here. It'd been one of the things that had kept him from settling for months, feeling restless and isolated as he had.

The Build Team. Deckard, and to a lesser extent Gunmax, had told him about them. "Fighter against threats to the city, tactician, and team lead of a four-mech subgroup within a larger team . . . that still only consisted of eight mechs total all told. Don't know if you've really thought of it, but it's a pretty big leap from that to what you've been doing here. You've been holding a position that's nothing like you had or had even been meant for back home, unless I'm mistaken. And in a place far more hostile by nature, before you add the outside threats. And you held the position for, what, year and a half or something?" He shrugged. "I'd call that a pit of a feat, personally."

Same for this one - also HAI walls-'o-text oy... >,o

[thankyou4myheart]

Deckard drove along what felt like the backside of Nowhere. Yep . . . Nowhereville, Pick-a-Forged District, Haven Precinct. His world over the last few months had become both broader and more miniscule than he could have previously imagined.

At least, not since finally emerging for the very first time from the hidden warehouse he'd been built in.

In his meanderings – patrols, he'd long convinced himself – over the past half-year and more, he'd found and catalogued pretty much every square millimeter of his new home, making himself useful, staving off various griefs – for his partner, for his lost teammates, for the family that had adopted him, and all the friends he and his team, his brothers, had made back home, as well as doing everything he could think of to ensure the health, safety, and happiness of his new friends and all those under his care here.

And "those under his care" of course included his own teammates. Those who . . . were still here.

Every time he began to think he'd lost McCrane too, he'd find another subtly-altered bush, another faintly-marked sniper spot. Anyone else would likely have missed them, but Deckard knew his brother as well as anyone.

Or so he liked to think.

Part of him felt that he didn't know McCrane anymore, not as he'd like. His brother had been through far more than he had now, had born burdens he was never meant to carry, and that Deckard hadn't been here to help him bear. He'd seen things and done things – suffered things – Deckard could only hear or read about long after the fact.

It was irrational and he knew it, but Deckard felt deeply like he had failed his teammate, his brother. Deckard was the one built to be the leader, to shoulder the weight and the cares of responsibility. He should have been here so that McCrane didn't have to do it.

He should have tried harder to get McCrane to let him shoulder it all once he had arrived. Not that he didn't think McCrane couldn't handle things. He just . . . hadn't wanted his brother to have to.

And now, it seemed, the damage had been done.

Deckard had been left with little more than marks on high ridges and the occasional assurance over the Link that McCrane was still here, that he was "all right." Deckard knew his brother wasn't, but he hadn't wanted to force himself on McCrane, hoping in time that the sniper would come to him when he was ready to open up. He'd yet to do so, and Deckard's worry had grown too deep to ignore. He was done hoping McCrane would come to him on his own. He supposed he should have known better – McCrane's Super AI was programmed off of his own, after all, and he . . . he knew from past experience that he himself tended to try to weather things on his own rather than burden others.

The time for giving space was over. Now it was time to bring his brother back. He'd drive until he found McCrane, and then back him into a corner if that's what it took to get his brother to talk.

Re: Same for this one - also HAI walls-'o-text oy... >,o

[mccrane]

McCrane was driving.

He remembered Gunmax saying once to him how much riding his gunbike could help clear his thoughts, out, away from everything. Maybe it was the wind, or the steady motion of the roads...but McCrane had taken something from the comment.

It was only chance that he glanced into his mirror as he drove, spotting a familiar trail of dust. He knew the shape of that car as well as he knew the shapes of all the Brave Police, and a spark of interest grew in his AI. He missed Deckard.

He missed everyone.

Deckard, however, would be the hardest one to talk to.

He still slowed, letting the patrol car gain on him. The fact that this conversation would not be easy meant that he needed to face it head-on, and learn from his mistakes. He wanted Deckard's approval.

He just had been through so much...

I don't have enough standing icons that he's not pointing his weapon 9,9

[thankyou4myheart]

Deckard was thankful when McCrane slowed and readily pulled up alongside him. He didn't say anything right away, not sure what to say. Or do.

No . . . he knew what to do. At least to start with.

"McCrane." Not as if he needed to get the sniper's attention, but it was a way of saying "follow my lead" as he stopped and shifted forms, standing to regard his brother.

Re: I don't have enough standing icons that he's not pointing his weapon 9,9

[mccrane]

When Deckard spoke, it was easy enough to fall back into old patterns. He downshifted, letting the friction of his engine gears bring him to a slow halt, and he transformed, standing to face the other.

There was still more conflict between him than he wanted. Deckard had been built to lead...but McCrane had been built as a tactician, and it was difficult to see the opportunities that he did without wanting to take them. He'd wanted to be a good leader. He had.

"I should have returned sooner," he stated. "I did not mean to make this harder on you."

[thankyou4myheart]

Deckard hesitated an instant, just . . . taking in the sight of the face before him, reassuring himself that he'd not - yet? - lost McCrane. Then a small crooked grin pulled at his mouth. "I'd hoped you would . . . but I can't say I'd expected it." The crooked grin grew a bit. "You're programmed from me, after all. I know how I can get."

Another beat, and then he was stepping in, before he changed his mind and hopefully before McCrane could react. If the sniper didn't keep him from it, Deckard pulled his brother into an embrace.

[mccrane]

"Deckard, I--" McCrane started, having so much that he wanted to explain...but he was stopped by the hug.

He did not know what to do with a hug. He did not feel he deserved a hug.

"...I'm sorry," he replied, quietly, out of sorts but not pulling away. He couldn't pull away from Deckard. Maybe he did not deserve the embrace...but it grounded him, and it comforted him in a way he did not expect.

"I did not want to give up. Perhaps I got that from you, also."

Slowly, he brought his hands up to return the hug.

"It's what to do now that I am still confused by, Deckard. I feel like I've failed."

[thankyou4myheart]

Deckard held on until McCrane either pulled back or reciprocated. He was glad when it proved the latter. He shook his head, face tucked to McCrane's shoulder. "You haven't failed, McCrane. You've done a remarkable job of handling yourself the best you could in a position you were never meant to have to bear. If anyone's failed . . . it was me. Letting you keep a position you weren't really equipped for, not stepping up sooner myself…" It wasn't that he really blamed himself – or anyway, he wasn't letting any slip into his voice, keeping his focus on his teammate and brother – it was just that McCrane had. not. failed. "I don't think you gave up. I think you held on longer than maybe you should have, for your own sake, and finally let go of something that you really needed to."

Speaking of finally letting go, Deckard did, shifting back at least enough to meet McCrane's gaze. "It's time to come home, though. Inasmuch as anything here is 'home.' You're missed, by a lot of people, and we weren't built to be alone."

[mccrane]

"It...it isn't that. I know I was not built to be commander, but we were built to adapt. I wanted to adapt."

He'd been able to adapt, until Prowl.

"This world is so different, Deckard. It is like..." He frowns, trying to think on a way to say it. "It is like the office where Gunmax came from. He learned that you cannot always rely on your partners, and I..."

It wasn't a lesson he'd wanted to learn. He did not know how to deal with it.

"I believed that I could. I know better, now."

He'd learned how to not trust. This bothered him, and he let go when Deckard did.

"I did not want anyone to have to learn that same lesson...but maybe we all need to. We need to, but I've been out here, hoping...."

Hoping that Drill Boy or Power Joe would return. Hoping that it had all been a mechanical dream he would wake up from.

"You still want me back?"

HOLY SHIT WOW I totally thought I'd replied to this by now. OTL

[thankyou4myheart]

Deckard watched the conflict play across McCrane's face. It broke his heart to see it, and he wished so badly there was something more he could do. He started to comment on the lesson, but the last derailed him completely.

"Still want you...? McCrane, how can you even ask me that? Of course I want you back!" He gripped the sniper's shoulders. "You're my teammate, McCrane. You're . . . you're family." Family meant so much to Deckard, ever since the Tomonagas had claimed him - even Yuuichirou and Amami, calling him "Tomonaga Patokichi" - and the other Braves were even closer to "family" to him than his adoptive human family. "You're like a brother, McCrane. Family always stays together, no matter what." Yuuta and Azuki and Kurumi had taught him that. And everything he had ever been through with his teammates.