re_alignment_logs | To be or not to be... [Narrative / Open]

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To be or not to be... [Narrative / Open]

WHO: Thundercracker and whoever encounters him
WHERE: Lakeside by Alpha Trion's temple (~~hey, brooding by the lake worked for Ventus *shot*)~~
WHEN: Um....before Prism's post, actually, otherwise TC'd be occupied with that - so...yesterday? Or early this morning...
WHAT: ~~Worrying his aft off~~ Contemplations
WARNINGS: TC brooding? Otherwise, none really, unless someone else brings something. ~~Also TOTES NOT STEALING AN IDEA~~. OTL S-sorry? I got the idea for the narrative itself, the thoughts, without knowing where to put it. I was going to have him just idly flying, but then the idea of stones dropping into the water just...wouldn't leave me alone...

Thundercracker stared over the perfectly still water, trying to will his spark to be just as calm.

He was failing miserably.

Pit, that had been harder than he thought. Meeting Megatron again. The first one (well, second, but he had a hard time counting the negative-polarity mech, all things considered). Not his Megatron, not strictly. But close. Close enough. He still remembered how his spark had guttered a little, stalling and constricting, when he'd rounded that corner only to walk into the powerful overlord. Literally. He was probably lucky the cruel mech hadn't grabbed and twisted a wing for making him drop the things he'd been carrying.

That mech was gone now, having been a Glyphless. But now another had appeared . . .

Lord Megatron. Here. Not the one he'd chosen to swear himself to recently (and how well was that going to go over!?), but a mech more like the one he'd sworn himself to eons ago. And regretted far too many times since.

Thundercracker was a Decepticon. In terms of the values and goals of his faction - at least the ones they used to have - he still carried the brands on his wings willingly. But in terms of the turns they'd taken somewhere along the way, in terms of the character and cruelty of the mech they followed, he-

One day, maybe. One day he might ~~find the courage~~ ~~the audacity~~ finally decide to go ahead and clean the marks from his wings and declare himself a Neutral.

The war didn't exist here. The reasons for the war didn't exist here. There were Decepticons, but there was no single, unified force, the mechs merely left to their own devices. There were Autobots, but they seemed just as widespread and only nominally "associated" - as friends, as comrades, but not as a cohesive "faction". There was an Optimus Prime here. Somewhere. Thundercracker had yet to lay optics on him, or really to hear much of him at all.

There was no reason for Thundercracker to remain a Decepticon. Not really, not if he didn't want to. He'd only remained as long as he had before to stay with his trine. And because it gave him purpose, for better or worse. And because . . . because he was afraid of Megatron, afraid that he'd not live to leave the faction if he tried. Or worse, that he would live . . .

His trine wasn't here. An alternate of his trine leader was, but . . . it wasn't the same, as desperately as he wanted it to be. And Megatron wasn't - hadn't been - here. Thundercracker had started to let himself believe that maybe, finally, he could be free again. He'd started letting himself be his own mech for the first time in millennia. He'd done what he wanted, when he wanted. He'd made a few friends, including organics and even an Autobot or two. He played at being a bouncer at a bar - how long had it been since there'd even been a bar anywhere to bounce at? He'd just joined the police force as an enforcer. He was living a life that was his own again.

And then Megatron had showed up. A Glyphless Megatron, granted - one who was gone now - but it had been a jarring wake-up call. That another Megatron could show up, one who was a Marked . . . and then what would he do?

And now one has. Still not "his" . . . but . . .

Thundercracker growled at himself - for his doubts, his indecision, his weakness, his fear. He stooped, picking up a stone from the ground. He turned it over in his fingers - it's the size of a small boulder to a human - then tossed it out far over the water. It didn't bounce at all like he saw Ventus's stones do. Instead, it just broke the surface with a soft plop and sank into the murky depths, quickly and with little hope of recovery.

The Seeker couldn't help thinking it was a metaphor.

Or an omen.

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Wing still maintained the habit of his early morning 'jog' around Haven, and though the introduction of intimacy with Drift had left mornings more occupied than before, (sometimes lazily and sometimes not), this was one day that his circuit around Haven hadn't been delayed. Regret at his parting words to Drift in their last communication still hung over him, and he was caught in his own cycle of brooding thoughts as he passed near the lake.

The jet is too pensive to play at the surface of the water the way he usually does, and in truth he almost misses the seeker standing on the shore. But his sensor array is more diligent than his casual perception, and the presence of a friend is identified on his HUD. He debates a moment, thinking it better to keep to himself in his moment of meloncholy, but in truth this kind of brooding can do no good, not until Drift returns and he can clear the air.

So he tips a wing and moves in a spiral that gets ever tighter, terminating on the small rise behind blue seeker. He nods then in greeting, stirring up a genuine smile. "Thundercracker. I'm not...intruding am I?"

It might say something for the normally alert soldier's mindset that he doesn't even seem to register the other's approach until the flyer is pretty much on top of him. With a gasp and a snarl, Thundercracker swings around, bracing into a ready fighting stance with both rifles up and powered. Nothing personal, Wing. He's just reacting subconsciously on the knowledge that if he does ever step far enough out of line, it will be another Seeker or three, other flyers, sent to deal with him - to kill or, worse, to capture him.

But he does know the sound of Wing's engines. That actually registers first, occurring to him an instant before the rest of his processor catches up with the sight of the mech before him.

Cursing silently at himself for the jumpy reaction, he drops the ready stance as quickly as he took it, straightening with a flick of his wings. "Wing . . . sorry." He debates for an instant with his reflex to want to be left alone, but he can hear Skywarp in the back of his mind: You're brooding again, TC. Stop that. He vents a sigh and shakes his head. "No . . . no, not at all." He gestures for . . . for his friend to come join him at the shoreline.

It's a bad idea, at best, for a Decepticon to claim friends, for any number of reasons. But if Thundercracker's honest with himself, he knows that he's genuinely made a few since arriving here. And that he may be needing them. Soon.

Wing should really know better: Drift had always been jumpy in the same way, defensive when surprised or jostled out of recharge. But the jet is a little too lost in his musing to have that much forethought and instinctively chose the highest point to land.

He starts at the sudden movement, hands going wide and wings staying reflexively unfurled. When the Seeker relaxes though, so does he. "It's all right. My fault on the rear approach," he says as he approaches, the silvery flight panels folding elegantly against his back.

"It's beautiful, this part of Haven." In truth, being able to say that about any part of Cybertron feels nice. His mouth twitches. "Perfect for reflection..."

Thundercracker nods, a faint grin tugging at his lips. "That it is. So what brings you here?"

It does but really doesn’t register that the mech might have landed specifically for him.

"I tend to make a circuit that includes the lake when I fly each morning." He looks out over the water, its mirror-like surface catching the likeness of the temple in its reflection. "It's very serene, good for...contemplative efforts."

He offers a small smile. "I just noticed you here and thought I'd say hello. You're well I hope?"

Thundercracker starts to reply – to say that he was fine – but then he can’t. Because . . . he isn’t. And if he isn’t going to face this alone, he needs to admit it. To tell someone</>. Wing might find him weak for it, but in this moment, the weary Seeker frankly doesn’t care.

“I . . . no, actually. I’m not.” He cycles a heavy sigh through his vents. “You saw the post from that Megatron. The one with Megatronus’s sigil.” He looks at his friend. “What did you think of it?” He wants someone else’s observation and opinion, knowing his own is too clouded to be reliable.

Megatron had been contemplating Megatrons himself, thinking of the Glyphless one he had met and conversed with. True to his counterparts words he wasn't overly fond of the mech in his memories, but it had been a learning process, to meet that mech and to speak with him.

Out of pure habit, from flying back home, he quickly noticed the flyer standing beside the lake and recognized who he was. He saw the weighing of the rock before it was tossed, the action bringing him to think that perhaps the blue flyer had a lot on his mind.

He considered continuing on his own flight and leaving him to think in peace but he had people to rock him out of his thoughts when he got too deep, even here he had Soundwave, and he wasn't sure Thundercracker had that. His decision made he angled to pass across the lake, in front of the flyer's field of vision so he would know that it was a friend touching down, and he chose to land a short way down the edge of the lake from him.

He transformed smoothly and took a step to cushion the momentum of transforming while landing. "Thundercracker, how are you today?"

Thundercracker flinched from his reverie as the other flyer crossed his line of sight, and straightened when he realized who it was. The mech's presence was both a comfort and a cause – or rather further reminder - for concern.

He shifts, stepping to help close the distance between the two, and inclines his head in greeting. "Lord Megatron. I . . . am functional."

Some days, it seems, that's about all he can claim.

"That is certainly a good place to start." He cocks his head to the side a bit and offers a small smile to the flyer.

"Though in my opinion that leaves some room for improvement. Is there something that I could help you with?" As he asks the question he looks out over the lake, hoping that not trying to force some optic contact would be easier on Thundercracker.

The small smile is something of a comfort – probably more so than Megatron would guess. Certainly more than the hardened war-veteran would admit.

He starts and stops a reply once or twice – torn between admitting his concerns and hiding them – and finally vents a sigh. If anyone can help him... And isn't this one of the very reasons he swore himself when he did?

He looks out over the lake as well. "Possibly. I don't know." He glances sidelong to see if there's a reaction to his next words. "Another Megatron has recently arrived . . . a positive-polarity one. And he is a Marked."

He waits patiently and quietly for Thundercracker to respond, putting no pressure on the other flyer, and keeping the smile on his face. Even once he starts talking he turns to look toward him but his smile remains in place.

"Is he the one from your home universe?" Though he worried for Thundercracker's well being if he returned to that same leader he wouldn't refuse the flyer going back to his former lord. "Or is it that he is simply more in kind with the Megatron you followed before arriving here?"

"He is not the one I knew, no . . . but he is very much in kind." And that unsettles him far more than he wants to admit . . . though the way his arms cross, shoulders and wings hitched high, might speak well enough for him. He shakes his head. "There's . . . something . . . I don't know, almost not quite right about him. Though I can't pin it for how. Then again, it was only just one brief comm log." He shakes his head again, huffing through his vents. "Maybe I'm just reading in too much. Besides, if he does try to do as he claimed and gather all of us under him and try to conquer Cybertron . . . he won't get far." Right? "Not only the Autobots, but even the First-Forged will act against...him." He has to catch himself – he almost said 'us'.

"I see. It is doubtful that people here will be willing to allow him to do so." He nods in understanding of at least some of what Thundercracker is saying. "It sounds, on the surface, like you are in disagreement of his plans. But I have a feeling that you aren't as certain as you are sounding." He looks back at the lake, once again intentionally taking pressure of observation off of Thundercracker. "Tell me, what do you want for yourself here?"

The question catches him by surprise - his head snaps back around to look at Megatron. For a moment, he's unable to reply - partly because he's not wholly sure how, and partly because that's a dangerous question for him to answer truthfully.

...or at least...dangerous depending on the mech he's talking to.

He studies Megatron for another moment. The mech has been nothing but respectful to him, even kind. He's not once raised his fist or even his voice. His want to help seems both genuine and rather deep-running.

But can Thundercracker let himself trust the mech enough to admit the kinds of things he's barely risked sharing with his own trine?

It's odd to him to realize that he truly believes he can. And besides, what's the worst that could come of it?

The Seeker's gaze drops and he pulls a deep cycle of air through his vents, looking in that moment every bit as old as he feels. As he is. "I . . . I'm tired, sir. I'm tired of the fear, and the pain and abuse, and the endless futility. I'm tired of the frustration of serving a sadistic, self-serving madmech who's too focused on a goal that isn't even the one he'd originally preached. I just . . . I don't want to go back to that. I . . . should, I know - it's where I belong - but I don't . . . I don't want to. It's not the life I want, haven't for a long time."

He can't help that he's braced, subconsciously expecting some kind of backlash for his admission.

He smiles softly at Thundercracker, a small shade of sadness mixed in with his expression. He reaches out, slow enough that the flyer can see it and know it's not a strike, but without any condescending slowness to make it feel as if he was mocking his past. He goes to settle his hand on Thundercracker's upper arm, in a gesture of good will and caring.

"It is my opinion that you belong where you choose to be. If your em-spark has changed in regards to following a mech, or you have found yourself at odds with the way he leads though you followed him before, it is your right as a free thinking being to choose to part ways with that path.

If you want to keep to your oath with me I will hold my part to you and will not allow any other, no matter who they may be or what world they are from, to force you into service for them. If you wish to become unbound either to remain free of any oath or to take up an oath with another I will willingly consider your oath fulfilled and free you from it so that you can do what you wish." Even as he speaks he makes sure to maintain his smile so that Thundercracker can see that his genuine intention is to make sure that the flyer is happy.

Thundercracker can't help that he stiffens a bit, inexplicably unnerved at the thought of being released. He does understand what Megatron is saying, though, and just nods, forcing his wings back down into a more relaxed position again. "I wouldn't ask you to keep accepting an oath you don't want, either . . . but if you're willing, Lord Megatron, then no, sir, I don't want to be released."

His head bows, optics offlining. "I just . . . I like the way things are right now. I don't want that to change."

"I have no argument with sharing an oath with you Thundercracker, I have a lot of pride for the respect you have given me." He pats Thundercracker's arm lightly as a form of encouragement.

"If you want things to say the way they are then I will do everything I can to keep it that way. If it comes to it I will even fight for your right to chose who you wish to follow if this other Megatron chooses to uses force to attempt to collect warriors for his goals." He hopes he is telling Thundercracker what he needs to hear, without misleading him.

Thundercracker would prefer Megatron just speak the truth, whether it's what he needs or wants to hear or not. The Seeker does feel that the mech is speaking honestly, and he appreciates it. And even more so that he's so supportive. The first comment and the pat get a small but genuine grin.

"Thank you, sir. And in return you have my word to follow and defend you, and to come when you call, whatever you need."

"Thank you, I do not doubt it. You are a very steadfast and loyal mech, I appreciate that greatly about you." He said, leaving his hand on Thundercracker as a gesture of closeness to the mech.

"I hope that some of what was troubling you seems more manageable at the least."

Thundercracker is not normally a touchy mech by any means. Most mechs, he would pull from if only out of habit. There are those, though, who earn his trust, from whom he doesn't automatically draw.

He nods. "Yes, it does. Thank you." He looks out over the lake. "It really is a beautiful morning." He glances sidelong at his liege. "Join me for a flight, sir?"

His smile stays as he nods and pulls just a little away from Thundercracker to give them both room to launch. "I would be honored Thundercracker."

Thundercracker allows a small grin as he turns toward his liege for a moment, offering a proper bow. "The honor is mine, Lord Megatron." With that, he turns and transforms, his thrusters carrying him upward. He'll circle, waiting for his liege to join him, then head off, enjoying the company of his present wingmate.

Megatron laughs warmly and launches himself up and transforming smoothly into his alt mode. It felt good to fly with others, and know that he was liked for who he is, not just his name.

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To be or not to be... [Narrative / Open]

Oh TC honey. /is pinged by brooding Decepticons

You're playing the right character, then. XD

Decepticons, I think he likes collecting them. :3

TC is surprisingly okay with this. XD

Most excellent! :D

<3

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AUGH thought I'd replied! Sorry! OTL

It's alll good

8D

C=

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If this is too old, feel free to ignore - seems like it's wrapping up anyway...

Nothing is ever too old for me. but I would say yeah, it seems to be wrapping up

<333

think we are done at this point.