hello, good-bye. [CLOSED]

[inferiordude]

WHO: Soundwave & Vandal
WHERE: Vandal's Shagpad
WHEN Sometime after Soundwave's discussion with Liege Maximo.
WHAT: Eventually, Soundwave knows he needs to tell people about Starscream's disappearance. He begins with Vandal.
WARNINGS: Sad sad sad.



It's times like these in which it's hardest to keep on fighting. Much less so the wrongs inflicted to him on a personal level, how many times he's been forcefully pried open by one person or another. Not that it isn't all difficult to handle. It is, but he finds a way regardless. Soundwave knows he can pick himself up no matter how many times he's been knocked down.

No. The harder point is this, when he loses a friend for good. To never see them again.

Over the course of years, he's lost several friends to war. Something he's hated, something he's never wanted, but still he has no choice but to fight for what he believes in. He's lost a son to it. In Axiom, he had hoped it would lead to something more peaceful, but even then, no. There'd been death.

Then here, Starscream's gone to some kind of Calling. And if he returns, he won't be himself.

It's unfair. It's so unfair and it hurts and he wishes he could just have him back with a snide remark, a cocky grin, and Soundwave doesn't care, doesn't mind, because he knows Starscream cared. He knows it. They were friends.

On his way to Vandal's, he has to stop midway. Soundwave transforms out of his van mode, stumbling over his own feet, feeling his knees buckle and he collapses to his hands and knees.

Yes. It's times like these that it's too much. Grief clutches him, aching in his chest, making his ember tighten into a painful ball of flame.

"C'mon. Get up," Soundwave mumbles to himself. "Get up, you gotta keep going, you can't..."

One of the more unfortunate things is that when he sings and helps motivate people? It has no effect on him. It all comes from his own emotions, how he feels, how he hopes to inspire others.

Yet still. He tries.

He tries to sing, do something.

"A-and... and I'll..." Soundwave's voice trembles as he desperately tries, tries to sing, tries to help himself.

It escalates to him just screaming to himself. "I'll never give up! Never give in...!"

All that remains is an echo of his own voice to himself.

Soundwave presses his forehead to the ground once, helplessly. There's enough strength to transform back into his van mode, and keep going.

Keep going to see Vandal.

He's not the only one who cared about Starscream, after all.

Comments

[vandalization]

Before this she was just your average loser. Working her job, going nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. Twenty-seven and no marriage. No kids (not that she wanted kids, the last thing she needed to do was spawn). Nothing to speak of. Forgettable.

Absolutely forgettable.

And it just took one pamphlet to change her life.

But not in the way she expected. Not acceptance and a warm, embracing faith. No. She's all fucked up and something is eating at her mind day by day and she now pals around with a bunch of robots like out of a goddamn cartoon.

In the back of her mind, she knows Starscream is gone. She knows it. Because that kind of shit just happens. You meet someone one day and the next thing you know, just like that, they leave you. She tries not to feel bitter about it and fails. For how much of a pain in the ass he was, he actually cared. Which is worth something. Worth a lot to her.

She's adhering the paneling today. She watches him approach, turning and leaning against the outside of her would-be dwelling.

[inferiordude]

"Vandal..."

No nicknames right now. This is important. Consuming him. And he knows he needs to tell her what's happened, it's just hard.

So he transformers and kneels down in front of her, his visor dimming as he struggles with himself.

"I... we gotta talk. 'Bout Screamer."

[vandalization]

Yeah.

"About how he's gone?" It comes out before she can think better of it. Maybe a little bitter. She knows he gave a shit about her and that just stings worse. Yeah, she has friends here, which is weird on it's own. But they're all so fucking special. She's not used to having one, let alone several. It doesn't devalue them, though.

She sighs, pushing off from where she was leaning and walking over to him.

Well. Might as well just. Get this over with.

[inferiordude]

At the tone, his helm lowers and he nods once.

"Yeah," he responds softly. "He's not... if he comes back, it won't be him. It would be th' same. Liege Maximo said that if he comes back, he'll try to kill us. That we gotta... gotta..."

Soundwave's tone trembles and he feels so helpless. Why did it have to turn out like this?

"It's not gonna be him anymore, Vandal."

[vandalization]

As if she could have worse news. She was expecting that-

That he wouldn't be coming back. Someone who actually gave a shit. For once in her life she has people and even missing one is like...

She doesn't want to think about it.

"Fuck, Soundwave."

She turns around, covering her face with one hand.

"I can't. What if he doesn't come back at all? If he does? What if it really is him? What then? We can tell, right?"

[inferiordude]

"I... I don't know. He made it... s-sound like it wouldn't be him, that he'd attack us, that he'd be empty or..."

Gradually, his voice crackles with static and discomfort. Even to Vandal, his tone should be obvious.

He sounds like he's on the verge of sobbing, and he's trying hard to not lose it in front of her. Soundwave knows he's not the only one to suffer from this, but slag if it isn't hard. He's trying.

[vandalization]

It's weird to hear that tone of voice from one of these guys, but she's not terribly surprised. They can feel many things. They're sentient, emotional beings. She steps forward, hands lifting up.

"Hey, hey. Shhh. Come down here."

[inferiordude]

"I--I..."

The morale officer leans down towards Vandal, his frame quivering.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't find him, I tried..."

[vandalization]

"Shhh. We'll figure it out."

Nothing is going to be okay. She knows that. Not where Starscream is involved. But regardless she holds his chin in both hands and leans her head against his faceplate.

"It's gonna be okay."

[inferiordude]

Even at her words, which he's terribly grateful for, Soundwave finds himself letting out a soft, broken sob. It isn't tears of the conventional, organic sense. It's just windshield fluid, but it flows from under his optics.

"A-ah, sorry. I just..." Trembling, Soundwave dabs at his own faceplate with the end of his headband. "Guess m'tired."

[vandalization]

"It's okay. Stop apologizing."

Wow so they can... cry? It's strange, but not the strangest thing she's seen. Some of them are so human sometimes it's startling. Jarring in a way. The way they emote. How they feel.

Her hand smooths over his helm.

"Why don't you rest here with me for a while? I'll be the one to stay awake this time."

[inferiordude]

Morosely, he remembers Starscream stating something very similar to him once. But he acknowledges the request and just shudders for a moment as the fluid flows slowly from his optics.

He hasn't cried since Rumble died.

"That okay?"

[vandalization]

"It's okay."

She pats him, feeling not at all like it would be okay. Feeling worse, but she doesn't cry in front of people. And especially not now.

Not when he need some support.

[inferiordude]

"A-all right."

After trying to work his intakes and calm them, keep the fluid from running from his optics, Soundwave manages to settle finally. There's a small pause as he looks down at Vandal.

His mask parts, and although he still looks thoroughly upset, he leans down to give her a gentle peck on the forehead.

"Thanks, Vandal," Soundwave says softly.

[vandalization]

Well that's surprising in a sort of sweet way. She smiles ruefully and pats his arm.

"Hey, we're friends, right? We'll get through it. I don;t think we're completely out of luck."

Actually they are, but she doesn't say that. Someone here has to sound optimistic. And Soundwave is kind of a sensitive soul.

"It'll be okay."