re_alignment_logs | Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door [Closed]

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Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door [Closed]

WHO: Thundercracker, SG Starscream
WHERE: Their shared quarters
WHEN: Shortly after his visit with Knock Out
WHAT: Starscream wastes no time noticing that something is missing from his roommate
WARNINGS: Uh, grumpy Seeker? None, really.

Thundercracker vented a sigh of relief in spite of himself. He'd managed to make it back to the room without anyone spotting him. It wasn't that he had anything to hide, really – and not that he could for long if he'd wanted to – just that . . . not yet. He wasn't ready to face anyone quite yet.

His wings ached, terribly, and probably would for some time while they finished healing. Especially the centers where…

He'd actually done it. He'd finally done it. Part of him was elated. The rest . . . absolutely petrified.

He put a hand on the door but paused short of opening it. Starscream might be home. Pit, what did he say? He hadn't told the mech his intentions. He hadn't told anyone. Except for Skywarp somewhat, back when. Well, and Knock Out, of course – both today and roundaboutly a few months ago, when the grounder medic had confessed to him in private that he himself had left the faction. He'd actively joined the Autobots, even. But no one else, not even Blurr.

Maybe he'd get lucky and Starscream wouldn't notice right away.

Right . . . and maybe Starscream would be overcharged off his aft again or something.

With a grunt at himself for his own wavering – what was done was done, after all, might as well face it – he opened the door and stepped inside.

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Actually . . . he did want that. He wanted - needed - to hear from as many people as he could that he was okay, that he'd done the right thing. Hear it from those who mattered to him. He didn't care anymore if that made him weak. It . . . he just needed it.

Not that he'd ever admit or ask for it, though, of course.

"Thank you, Starscream." His voice was quiet. "That means a lot." He nodded. "Yeah. I imagine they will for a while. They're fine, though. I've been far worse off." As often as not, at the hands of the one he'd sworn himself to, the one he was now breaking from.

"You are my friend, Thundercracker," he chuckled, circling around to behind the Seeker. "Thanks aren't necessary."

Starscream shifted a little uncertainly behind Thundercracker. Theoretically, this was a good idea. As a flier himself and one that designed not only his own frame, but many other frames as well, he knew what spots were sensitive - what areas to touch that would help alleviate some of the pain. He just... He wasn't sure it was appropriate or wanted.

"May I?"

There was that concept again. Friend. After a moment's hesitation, he murmured, "Friends aren't something to take for granted. I'll always be grateful for what I've been allowed here."

He felt himself tense a little on reflex - how long had it been since he'd let someone, anyone, behind him? Especially this close? But he rolled his shoulders, wings flicking, and made himself relax. The question confused him a little, making him shift to look around one shoulder vent. "Hm? Oh..." He'd...never really allowed anyone at his wings except his trine. And for medical reasons, like Knock Out. But he nodded easily now. "Uh...sure. You don't have to, though."

"From what I understand, you haven't been allowed anything," Starscream chuckled, a little smile on his features. "What you have, you have created for yourself."

He saw the tense posture which, in turn, made him tense as well. His wings were tight, displaying just how unsure he was. Starscream wasn't the most confident of mechs. If Thundercracker wasn't all right with it, then he would back off immediately.

"If you don't want me to, I understand," he said. "But I could help."

"Yeah . . . I guess. No one's told me I couldn't."

He looked at Starscream again, noting that he had gone tense, hesitant. His own wings flicked and settled, sinking slightly to a calmer set on his back. "It's not that. It's just . . . " Just thinking about it, he felt himself tensing back up again. He made himself relax again, blowing out a vent of hot air from his systems. "In my reality's Decepticon ranks, you don't have friends. At best, you have a few people you're useful to and who are useful to you, enough so that neither betrays the other - yet. Anyone who's not your own trine, you have to watch your back. Because you're either going to be pranked or, more often, shot." He looked away. "Unless it's our...'glorious leader'." He couldn't bring himself to use the mech's name, not when he knew Starscream's mind would go to the "wrong" mech - Thundercracker didn't want anything negative getting associated with the one he actually still deeply respected. "Then it's an electro-whip. With or without wings left attached first." He shook his head. His wings had hitched again at the thought and he forced them back down once more. "I'm probably just always going to get tense and defensive. It's nothing personal."

Trine... There was that word again. Starscream didn't know what it meant. Perhaps it was just a fancy word for unit or squad. One day the flier would ask Thundercracker about it. Right now, though, his wings flicked in response to the Seeker's. It was likely hard for the other jet to talk about such things openly. Starscream didn't want to push or force anything. It was just... Well that didn't seem like an environment that permitted for freedom to be who you were and to form close bonds with those with whom you fought side by side with.

Starscream knew what the other meant by 'glorious leader' and it still made him duck his helm a bit. He knew it wasn't his own Megatron, but still. The jet heard their Megatron wasn't quite as bad as Optronix, but the thought that a Megatron encouraged this sort of behavior was distressing...

"I'm sorry, Thundercracker."

And he was. Sorry didn't even cut it, really. Starscream was very empathetic, really. No one should ever have to live in fear or feel like they were less than nothing. He even shuddered, wings shaking slightly at the thought of a whip and hearing that a wing may or may not be attached. That... That wasn't punishment. That was torture.

It was torture. But it was also the consequence for failure, at least if he wanted to live and keep his status intact. And without his status, he'd likely not live much longer anyway, the lower ranks probably tearing him apart at first chance. Best to stay on top, no matter the cost.

But it was definitely one of the reasons –one of so very many –that he'd wanted out.

He shook his head. "Don't be. In a sense, I . . . I chose that. Not a great choice, anything else was likely to be worse, but . . . I know we got ourselves into that position. We just . . . didn't fully realize it until it was too late. And then what did we do?" What could they do. He shrugged.

"Anyway . . . I've . . . I've chosen again. I don't . . . I don’t have to live like that anymore. Not here. I can be free here."

It'd be hard to determine if Thundercracker was merely informing Starscream of this . . . or if he's also still trying to fully convince himself.

"Things change. People change." he said, putting a careful hand on Thundercracker's shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with that and simply because you might have made a mistake in the past doesn't mean that you deserved what happened to you."

Starscream wasn't really one to talk. There were things from his past that continued to eat at him - things beyond his actual control. His point with the other flier still stood. It didn't matter what they thought they were getting into, they were victims as well.

"You also have friends here who will be there for you.?

Thundercracker studied the other mech for just a moment, then nodded. "That means a lot."

Though his voice was low, his outward reactions customarily suppress, he meant that. With all his spark.

Starscream merely nodded, smile soft. He figured out already that Thundercracker wasn't the expressive type - completely opposite from the one that he knew. It only meant that Starscream would have to adjust, not that he was unfamiliar with mechs who decided to school their expressions.

"You are welcome. Now... Allow me to alleviate some of the pain?"

The offer drew a faint grin from the Seeker, and he nodded. "Thanks." He turned away . . . tensing again a little in reflex, but he was quicker to make himself relax . . . and able to relax more.

Starscream waited as well. He wasn't going to touch Thundercracker until the other was ready. Then and only then would he place his hands on the expanse of metal. The Decepticon would be cautious and gently, always aware of Thundercracker's body language and prepared to stop if the other seemed uncomfortable.

On the other hand, Starcream was pretty familiar with the inner workings of wings and their sensornets. He practically designed them once aerial alt modes were desired. Ironically, he knew Thundercracker's specs perfectly. Even though the TC from his reality never made it to Earth, Starscream helped with the switch from Cybertronian model to an Earth one. Really that made this easier. He was kind of hoping that this TC would have similar reactions.

Thundercracker shudders softly when Starscream first touches his wings, head bowing and shoulders hunching. The only ones he's ever voluntarily let touch his wings are his trinemates and the occasional medic on an as-needed basis. That wasn't, of course, to say no one else had, but that had never been pleasant. But he catches himself now on his reactions, a soft growl at himself escaping his vocalizer as he consciously pulls his head back up and forces his shoulders down. And then-

-he's relaxing in earnest. Primus, that felt good…

"It's quite all right, Thundercracker," he chuckled. "I know what I am doing."

Starscream wasn't a genius medic like the Constructicons of his reality were, but the jet was able to make due. He knew enough to treat people and more than enough for something simple like this. At least the other jet was relaxing, though. That was really all he cared about in the end.

"Hmn, and it seems you've very good at it." His head is bowed again, but this time in a much more relaxed manner, optics offline. If it seems like the old war vet is letting his guard down, it's because he is.

If that seems like a pretty big show of trust for him . . . it's because it is.

Starscream laughed at the statement. "I should hope so, given how many alt-modes I've had to design and redesign in the last two million years."

As long as Thundercracker was enjoying himself... That was all that mattered here. Starscream felt rather flattered that the other was relaxing and lowering his defenses.

Thundercracker was silent for a long moment, enjoying the other's ministration. After a moment, though, he asked quietly, "So . . . there aren't others of my frametype in your reality. Are there any who recognize . . . trines? That you know of?"

Starscream mentally paused for a moment, thinking over that question. "Yes and no. Our manufacturers did not put together our frames with transformations in mind. We created that ourselves. Actually, I had a hand in that - specifically for our Thundercracker's reformat as well as many others."

So yes, there were others with this Thundercracker's frametype. Sort of. No one started out looking as they presently did in the scientist's reality. They were all now upgraded and wore armor and modifications. This also meant that Starscream was familiar with many different frame types. It would explain how he knew to do this without really knowing.

"I have heard of this word. Trine. I'm not sure what it means."

Thundercracker was silent for a moment, absorbing all of that. When he spoke again, it was quietly, his gaze on the floor somewhere in front of him. "It…it means…I don't know what equivalent you might recognize. As far as I know, symbiotes like Soundwave and his cassettes are probably the closest, at least in my reality. I've heard it equated to family or brothers, though I'm not sure that's quite right either. But it means having a special, deep bond with someone. Usually two others, though it can be more, sometimes up to five or six, though anything other than three is fairly rare."

This time it was Starscream taking in those words. He hummed, hands flat against the metal expanse of those wings for a moment. Did others bond like that in his reality and he just not know about it? It was possible. As friendly as Starscream was, he didn't intrude into the personal lives of others when it came to issues of the ember.

"We... We do have such a thing as a split spark. Sideswipe still has a brother on the Autobot side of things. Jazz and Ricochet are as well, I believe. Though I am not sure I have heard any bond like you describe."

He paused, leaning a bit over Thundercracker's shoulder to catch a glimpse of him. "You have one, I take it."

"Had."

The word comes out quietly and only after a pause, brief but heavy. "I was the Second of our trine. Our third's name was Skywarp. And our trine leader . . . " He grins, optics still on the floor before him. "Starscream."

He vents a heavy cycle of air. "And before you ask, yes, he was positive polarity like me, so he was pretty much everything you've probably already heard. But . . . no one knows a mech like his own trinemates." Like an older brother you think you can't stand until you lose him and realize how much you loved him in spite of himself . . . Thundercracker misses his trine leader –schemes, grandstanding, screechy voice, and all.

"Skywarp?" he questioned, not bothering to hide his surprise. "I wouldn't have thought you two would get along..."

Different reality. Different rules. Starscream ducked his helm a bit, a wing flicking in embarrassment. What a silly outburst. Though really he wasn't too surprised to hear one of these special members had been Starscream. There must have been good reason for the tone in Thundercacker's voice, though. Sure, this Starscream didn't believe there to be a redeemable quality about his other iterations, but who knew?

"I suppose I will have to take your word for it..."

That outburst just gets a soft laugh from the old Seeker. "I know how annoying my Skywarp can be. I can't imagine what a negative polarity of him must be like."

He's not sure which of his wingmates the last is in reference to, but in a sense, either works. "Both have their issues . . . but when you work with and under a mech for long enough, you get to understand why/ he is the way he is." Spoken quietly – again, he gets what people think of his trine leader and why they do, he doesn't blame them – it's wholly deserved, after all – but still…

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Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door [Closed]

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LOL I need more happy/blissful/etc icons for

you really, really do

One of these days... o.o

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