re_alignment_logs | HONEY I'm HOOOOOOOME

Entry tags:

HONEY I'm HOOOOOOOME

Who: Drift and Vandal and Wing if he wants to?
What: After a busy day of monster killing, the conquering hero returns to his damsel in bug-phobic distress
Where: Solus's. Sorry about the floor.
When: nowish?
Warnings: none likely except weeaboo and derp and terrible, terrible lines

It hadn't gone quite as expected, but then again, battle never did. That was part of what made it interesting. Still, it had been good to get out and do something: Drift felt so useless in peacetime, and sparring could only take the edge off so much. He isn't quite comfortable with the fact that he needs it, to fight, to kill, but right now, when it's been put to good purpose--saving the Haven, he pushes those darker thoughts aside, rolling into Solus's temple at top speed.

He looks a little worse for wear, but, well, you know. Maybe chicks dig battle scars. Or maybe he just wants her to use a dent puller on him.

"Vandal?" He pushes up to his bot mode, leaving sticky smeary terrorpede fluid footprints in a messy trail. "It's safe to come out now."

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"Drift?" She'd know his voice anywhere, moving to the door of the storage room.

"Is it seriously? Because I mean if it's not I could just live in here. Ambulon brought me snacks and somehow he found cheetos. They've been like. Extinct for the last 500 years. Or you know whatever you call it when a product goes out of business... anyways I am eating a bag of human history right here and-"

She opens the door, peering out, eyes going wide as she looks up up and down.

"Holy fuck, Drift! What the hell happened?! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Shit, son!"

Ah. Right. The storage closet. He should have figured. He moves closer to the voice. "Vandal. I wouldn't lie about this." That was real fear of buts he'd seen before. He might joke around but never about something like this.

"...I can't imagine toes are nutritionally sound, though." For shame, Ambulon. As a doctor, you should know better.

"Me? Okay?" Huh? Oh. That. "Vandal. I'm fine. Uh, functional. This is just, you know, not mine. Most of it." Wow, let's refocus, here. "I came as soon as I could to let you know."

Toes. Go figure. Drift is so cute.

"Not actual toes, Drift," She can't keep the mirth from her voice. Robots, sometimes. Just. Yes.

She comes out of the closet, walking up to him.

"Thank you Drift, seriously" It's a relief to say the least, "So that's uh. That's bug juice on you?" It's obvious the gears are already turning here.

"You sure did come right over here, didn't you? My big dorky hero. Let's get you a bath though and take out some of these scrapes."

"Well, it would explain why they went extinct at any rate." See? it's your fault he's confused. You and your extinct food.

"Bug juice?" He looks down over his armor. "Hmmm. This is hydraulic fluid. And this stuff's antifreeze. And I'm not real sure what this is, but it smells kind of terrible." He's a veritable rainbow of murder.

"I didn't want you to worry." He grins. "Told you I'd keep you safe." Though he has to admit, a bath would probably feel really good right now.

"It's a- ah never mind." Sometimes letting them think what they want to is best. Also it's funny. Okay so mainly the reason is that it's funny.

"Oh, Jesus, yeah you smell like. Like something all right. Jeez." She tries not to wince too hard. He looks so pleased and she is definitely thankful. Gross fluids or no.

"Thank you, seriously. You did a good job. I'll rub your back or something once we get you cleaned up."

She motions back behind her, using her kinesis module to snap up a bucket and bring it to her hand.

"But for now. You. Me. Washracks. Get you butt over there, I'm gonna change into something I can get wet and be right there, okay?"

He knows he's right. Your kind eats the flesh of other animals: He's seen it on tv.

But no worries; his self-satisfaction at having done a good thing is more than enough to carry through any reaction to his unique fragrance.

"Washracks. Right." He gives a bit of a pout as he moves toward them, optic warily on the bucket. "Guess that's the only way I'm going to get the hug I've worked so hard to earn, huh?" Come on, Vandal. He deserves a hug. At some point.

It's true. She loves a good steak.

"You'll get more than a hug, but you stink, babe. I promise I'll make it worth your while and then some, hmm?"

She flits off to a room down the hall briefly, emerging in a tank top and what appears to be boxers. This she doesn't mind getting wet. Her RIG isn't very water friendly.

"Come on. Scoot!" She grins, snapping a washrag at him.

~~MONSTER~~

But but but he earned this stink! He sighs. Right. He's not going to win this one. He dodges--barely--the snapped washrag. Hey, don't think you can beat his reflexes!

He's waiting in the washracks, cleaning his weapons when she arrives. They certainly need the attention. "Hnh. More of your poor design, huh?" Needing clothes. How silly.

She sets down her bucket and scrub brushes, laying out a few towels for when they're done.

"Oooo come off it, Drift. Hey, at least I've got shorts. I'd have worn pants if I hadn't finally found a razor to shave my legs with." TMI, Vandal.

Not that Drift has any reference level.

"Could you turn the water on and sit down?" She's dumping some soap into her bucket and meandering over.

Sorry Drift. You don't get to keep your well-earned battle-stink.

"You need to get over the clothes thing." Seriously. "I've done clothes and I still don't see the big deal."

At all. Even when he was a Cybertronian, and not shoved in that terrifying skirt.

He gives an exaggerated, headrolling sigh. FINE, Vandal. Fine. He turns on the water, taking a minute to adjust the temperature, to what he hopes isn't too warm for her, and drops down to his knees.

"You are really set on me being naked, aren't you?" She teases, grinning wryly.

~~Maybe in the adult comm~~

She smiles when he's within reach and gets to work, dipping the brush in the soap and starting in with scrubbing his legs down first, making notes of scrapes and dents she'll fix for him later.

"Poor baby, having someone to wash you an having to be pampered. It must be so hard for you." Grin.

"Only because you seem so resistant to it." And he's curious as to why. "I mean, it's not like I don't know what girls look like naked. I was one, remember?"

Nope. That still sounds weird.

one day! *fistshake*

He can't help the humming sigh of pleasure. It does feel good, he'll admit. There's something about getting really filthy and then really clean that feels...pure.

But he's not going to admit that. Yet. "I'm only doing it because it's the only way I'll get my hug." He tries for a grumpy expression and probably misses it by miles.

"Yeah but you were a young pretty thing. You think you wanna see what's under this? Someone who's frumpy and just a little outside of their prime, that's what." She doesn't seem entirely bothered, just accepting it as fact with a wry smile.

"What, you don't like having a bath?" She tugs on one of his legs until she can sit down and go to town on the caked-on grime that stuck to whatever fluids were on the bottom of his feet while he was walking.

"Man this is gross, what did you do, slice it open and kick it in the guts?" Actually she wouldn't be surprised if he had...

"Vandal. You're not frumpy. You're beautiful." He says it with absolute intensity. He's not flirting, for better or worse: simply saying the truth as he knows it.

Drift squirms, but not from the vigorous scrubbing. "Just not used to, you know, this." The being taken care of, he means.

He furrows his brow at her question, trying to remember. "Something like that, yes. But there was one of Cliffjumper's grenades involved, too." It was fairly epic.

Vandal smiles.

"I guess you see something that I don't." Not meant to be a dismissal, but she's just not good at taking compliments.

"So are you." In a different way. In the intensely handsome, attractive, heroic robot way.

"Yeah? Well, we'll have to get you more accustomed then," She says, intending to make good on that too. She'll take care of him where she can.

Satisfied with one leg, she moves onto the other.

"Good grief, kinda glad I stayed out of this one. You sound like you had fun though." Fun in a very loose sense of the word.

"Well, then, you should see about getting your optics adjusted." Because he's right. Besides, nobody could be as kind and fierce as she was--stomping halfway through the badlands to rescue Drift from his own angst--and not be beautiful.

"You're going to spoil me. Not that I'm complaining." Just not used to it and not sure how to respond. He feels like he should be doing something, but he's not sure what.

He laughs. "It felt...good. You know, protecting something that matters." A tiny gesture: he means her.

"God you're so sweet. How are you even real?" Drift was the first one she had fallen for, and it's obvious why. She can hardly look at him without feeling that warm fuzzy tingly feeling you get when you have a terrible crush on someone.

"That's the intent," She says, playfully wiggling a finger against the bottom of his now clean foot before turning to tend to other areas.

"Mmm? Drift..." Well. Okay. He's washed off enough of the goop by now just by sitting under the water, and she really can't resists anymore, climbing up to wrap her arms around his neck.

"I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't agree with you." But that's all right. He didn't care what they think right now, anyway.

He twitches the foot away, with a sudden bark of laughter. Frag. Tickling? Not cool, Vandal, not cool.

Aha. Victory: the hug. He wraps one hand around her back, hand splayed over the wet fabric. He can't hide the happy sigh.

She can't help it. He's so cute when he laughs.

She must admit, it's incredibly nice to get such a good hug. Familiar and snug and maybe a little bit wet but she doesn't so much mind the wet.

Turning her head to tuck under his chin, she just stays there for a little bit, appreciating the soft hum of his systems.

It feels good to laugh: he's not going to deny it. And it feels good to have her slightly damp warmth pressed against him.

"I'm glad you're safe," he murmurs. He's also glad she's still talking to him. He felt bad having to leave her to go fight the things but, well, he had to fight.

"I'm glad you are, too." He's the one doing all the dangerous shit, she just hid in a closet. Literally hid in a closet the whole time.

If she could bottle this moment she definitely would.

Turning her head she presses a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you for coming back."

"Vandal, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." He gives a guilty little gulp, remembering one of their conversations before he'd left, about maybe dying and leaving her alone.

Drift, you should not talk to people when you're emo.

He'd bottle it, too, even as his facial plate heats under her kiss.

"This," he presses her against him, hoping it's not too hard, "was worth coming back to."

"I can't help it," She replies, fingers finding one of his finials to trace little circles against it.

"Mmm-" It's not too hard. The contact is more than welcome coming from him.

"Yeah? Well, I'm glad. Anything I can do to keep you coming back." The engineer gives a soft chuckle, just enjoying the closeness and forgetting all about the actual task of washing him.

She'd tell him she loves him, but she's not sure if that would be awkward.

He won't argue, simply leaning into the delicate touches. "But I can take care of myself." He squeezes her against him, and then grins. "...Bumpers."

Oh, apparently he's not done risking death today.

"You owe me that song, remember?"

Everything about this whole thing is awkward, what's one more?

"Never hurt to have help," She grins up at him, leaning back enough that she can face him and draw her hands down along his jaw.

"If I wasn't so comfortable you'd get it for that, you know."

Fortunately, apparently cuddling is a good way to disarm her.

"Song? You want me to sing to you right now?" He gets a wry, dubious smile.

"At least not the right kind of help." He tips his head into the touch. He's not used to being looked at this way. Wing gives him the same kind of look, but that's new, too.

He chuckles. "So all I have to do is keep hugging you, and I'm immune to your wrath." It is a brilliant plan.

...now you know why Turmoil never liked his plans.

He's going to wait till she's falling asleep one night, lean over her, and whisper....'bumpers'. Just you wait, Vandal.

"I think so. I think I've earned a victory song." He wriggles, a little giddy from all the attention.

"For a while, at least," She says calmly, smiling wickedly, wiggling a finger under his chin.

"But I'll get you. I promise."

And that will be the night that he nearly dies from laughing. Maybe. But if he keeps being this adorable she may be done for.

"Oh okay. But you asked for it. What song do you want?"

"You keep saying that," Drift says, grinning. Tempting fate? That's Drift's middle name.

It would be a good death, dying under the well-earned barrage of tickles. Unless his lady took mercy on him.

"I don't know. You need a theme song, I think."

"You're just adding to the backstock, hun. Seriously. When we're done here, you better be prepared."

It's a dangerous thing when he starts learning her weakness for the cute naive robot act.

"Me? If I had a theme song ot'd be fucking Yakkity Sax, and I can't sing that to you."

She taps her finger on her chin, squirming to turn over so she's laying with her back against him, idly fiddling with his fingers.

"Alright. I know just a fe wthings by heart, so you have to promise me you're not going to laugh."

((ooc: OMG you've turned me into an animu stereotype x-x))

"It's all part of my master plan." Which he doesn't actually have, but she doesn't need to know that. The only 'plan' is that making Vandal smile is a reward unto itself.

"You'll have to play it for me at some point, then." Because he's curious now.

"Vandal." He looks serious, suddenly. "I wouldn't laugh at you. I want you to sing because it should make you happy."

"Ohhh so cunning. Behind that cute face, there's a mastermind."

She laughs, scraping some wet strands of hair away from her eye.

"I will. I think I have it somewhere."

Oh, and the very serious Drift sincerity, too? She's getting all the good things tonight.

"Okay. I'll try my best for you."

She clears her throat and sings a song she remembers from when she was young. She's definitely not good. She sounds downright awkward and a little wince-worthy. But she sings it beginning to end for him.

"I don't know: I've managed to avoid being tickled pretty well now so far, despite your reign of terror." Of course, what he needs to do is get her focused on tickling Wing. Because squirming, laughing jet? VERY good thing.

He sits quietly through the song. He's no music critic and maybe she's no trained singer, but there's something to be said for emotion and intensity that Drift very much relates to.

He waits till she finishes, pulling her closer, to plant a kiss on the top of her wet hair. "It was beautiful. The best prize."

Oh. She gets a kiss? Well now she's successfully flustered beyond all reason. She just lays there for a minute staring into his plating.

Quick. Say something meaningful or maybe even romantic-

"You're the best prize."

She actually meant it but it comes out in the way that someone might make a 'Your Mom' joke.

So close and yet so far. She says it with little force, and her voice cracks.

"I uh. I mean. Yes. You. Thank you."

...and Vandal wants to tickle him when he does all this for her? Tsk.

And Drift doesn't know any 'your mom' jokes, so he takes it at face value, ducking his head in gratified embarrassment.

"Thank you," he said. "For singing."

But he can't sit here getting all clean and attentioned all day so he pulls away, letting his finger trail down her jaw. "I suppose we should stop, before, you know, you melt or something." He means from the water. You know: universal solvent.

She's just terrible like that.

"You're welcome. Thank you for everything you do."

It's nice to have him so affectionate. She tips her head against his finger and reluctantly sits up when he speaks.

"I won't melt. But I will get all pruny and that's gross."

"Pruny and gross isn't acceptable." Obviously. But mostly, he feels the cleanser cooling and he seems to remember humans don't like being cold and wet.

"You should get changed and maybe show me this history you've been eating."

"Thought you might say that," She laughs, sliding down Drift and planting herself on the floor.

Yeah. Definitely soaked through and through.

"I like the way you think. I may have a movie we can watch."

"Well, I figure you've worked hard enough. You've earned a break." Cleaning that goop off Drift was probably not fun.

He pushes to his feet, turning off the tap as he rises, letting the water sheet off him. "What kind of movie?"

"How nice of you." Honestly cleaning the goop off Drift had proved to be incredibly enjoyable. At least with the cuddling bit.

"Mmm, maybe a cartoon or something. I have Bambi. But I warn you it gets a little sad at one point."

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HONEY I'm HOOOOOOOME

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argh i hate wednesdays sorry for late ;;;-;;;

/hug No worries! Take it easy! I totes understand!

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i literally laughed so hard at that fake tag I got a nosebleed.

ghdjjfgdfsgghjdfghj ohdgf I'm sorry XDDD at least it was that funny!

it was brilliant XD

/bows

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