Rung (
rungout) wrote in
re_alignment_logs2013-02-06 09:53 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
WHO: Dead End and Rung
WHERE: In the medbay.
WHEN: A few days after everything that happened when Rung first woke up.
WHAT: Making upand making out
WARNINGS: Nadda~
Actually, it had taken him him a few days to recover enough so that he could get up and move around and then it was a matter of working up the nerve to talk to Dead End. He knew that Knock Out wasn't going to let either of them leave until they made up--considering the medic had made it clear that Rung could only go back to his office if he had someone to look after him and that someone was Dead End apparently--but it was just a matter of him not feeling so awkward and nervous.
He was really worried that the other just wanted nothing more to do with him.
It was late, around that time that most would be resting but Rung's thoughts were keeping him up. He wanted out of the med bay, wanted to get back to helping others but he just..
Hesitating briefly, the therapist slowly pushed himself up and slid off his berth, wincing at how stiff he still felt. At least most of the pain was gone; that was a plus. He started away from his berth and slowly sought out the mech he was after, resisting the urge to start wringing his hands together, instead offering a small smile in greeting.
Hold it together, Rung.
"..Dead End..could..we talk?"
WHERE: In the medbay.
WHEN: A few days after everything that happened when Rung first woke up.
WHAT: Making up
WARNINGS: Nadda~
Actually, it had taken him him a few days to recover enough so that he could get up and move around and then it was a matter of working up the nerve to talk to Dead End. He knew that Knock Out wasn't going to let either of them leave until they made up--considering the medic had made it clear that Rung could only go back to his office if he had someone to look after him and that someone was Dead End apparently--but it was just a matter of him not feeling so awkward and nervous.
He was really worried that the other just wanted nothing more to do with him.
It was late, around that time that most would be resting but Rung's thoughts were keeping him up. He wanted out of the med bay, wanted to get back to helping others but he just..
Hesitating briefly, the therapist slowly pushed himself up and slid off his berth, wincing at how stiff he still felt. At least most of the pain was gone; that was a plus. He started away from his berth and slowly sought out the mech he was after, resisting the urge to start wringing his hands together, instead offering a small smile in greeting.
Hold it together, Rung.
"..Dead End..could..we talk?"

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As it was, he was stuck in the medbay, and was supposed to be Rung's bodyguard. Yeah, that wasn't happening.
Speaking of Rung, he was the last mech Dead End thought he'd see again. After what had happened he'd figured that he'd never be talking to the Autobot again, or forced to see him by Knock Out and the conversation lasting about two seconds before it became clear that Rung wasn't interested.
But here the therapist was. On his own. No Knock Out in sight. Why would he come see him without someone pushing him into doing it?
"I..."
Think of something Dead End. Anything.
"Now's not really a good time... I was just going to, uh, head down to the energon pools. Medic's orders..."
Oh yeah, he's clearly an expert at this avoiding thing.
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Come on, keep it together.
Forcing himself to glance up at the other, Rung's smile was sad now but there, which was better than nonexistent.
"..I'm not mad at you, Dead End. I just wanted you to know that. I couldn't..be mad at you for what happened," he admitted, a hand twitching then lifting to rub the opposite arm. "But I--this can all wait..for another time if...no, you probably don't want anything to do with me, do you?" Rung laughed weakly before turning to go.
"Enjoy the energon pools, Dead End."
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"Before..."
Why couldn't it be about something simple, like if he knew where something or some medic was. That would be nice. Anything but before.
He slides off the berth ready to go and head down to the pools, follow his excuse. He'd made the lie and he had to follow through, it would look weird if he didn't after all. But then Rung's talking again, the look on the therapist's face something he'd rather not have caused. That sad look. That's his fault. His own life is a mess and now he's ruining others.
"I... Uh, I," he stammers, slowly inching to the side. Keep a good distance between himself and the other. "You're not mad?" Considering who Rung is, that shouldn't come as a surprise.
"There's- I..." Rung's leaving. Good. Good.
"There's a lot of things I want to do with you..."
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"...What..sorts of things..exactly?" he asked, unable to help himself really because it was a curious statement to make. Curious and maybe a little bit intriguing. He turned around, finally wringing his hands together though he didn't seem to realize he was, quiet for a moment before speaking, vents cycling softly.
"I...when you kissed me..I was surprised...but I did like it," Rung murmured, wanting to get everything on the table because he wasn't sure where this was going but he wanted to make Dead End understand.
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Well Rung heard that. Not as intended. Frag, what did he get himself into?
Dead End stiffens up, fans whirring as he tries to think of something to say. Something that isn't what he actually wants to say. Anything would do, anything but more stammering.
"It- well uh, I... You know... Things." He explains, although it doesn't exactly explain anything at all. It's been a long time since he actively went after someone - in a romantic sense at least. He's a bit rusty when it comes to expressing it. That and the fact that he's positive Rung doesn't like him that way.
He might be a Decepticon, but he was hardly one to go after what he wanted these days. And he wasn't one to really take things... Unless power cores count.
"...You don't. You don't have to pretend, Rung. I... I don't mind that you don't like me. It's fine. I'm used to it." It was nice to hear, but there was no way it was true.
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He didn't like where this was all going; what the other seemed to think about this. It wasn't surprising though, considering Dead End's outlook on life in general.
But Rung didn't want to be yet another addition to the individuals that made Dead End's outlook even worse.
The therapist's optics dimmed a bit in a thoughtful manner.
"...I'm not pretending..and that's...why I can't continue being your therapist," he said softly. Not about to let himself back out of this or be any more awkward about it, Rung closed the distance between them and placed a hand on the other's chest as he pushed himself up enough to give the other a light kiss.
"...Because I want to be able to do that whenever I want."
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Rung was a good mech, and he'd just continue to
brooddeal with the fact that he messed things up and lost a therapist and a friend. It was going to happen sooner or later, better he start loosing friends sooner. Make it less difficult when he's trampled onto some spikes - or whatever death the universe had planned for him.Venting a sigh, he takes a step to head off to the pools, not really wanting to continue the conversation. However, Rung is getting in his way and-
Did he just?
He must be dreaming.
Dead End simply stares, unmoving and not saying a single word, the only sound coming from him being the whirr of his fans.
What was happening?
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Had he called that wrong?
Rung searched the other's gaze, looking for some indication of what was going on in Dead End's head but he just really wasn't finding anything. It made him tense a bit, suddenly worried that he had made a horrible mistake.
"Dead End.." he started then faltered a bit over his words, vents cycling quickly as the therapist began to pull his hand away. "I'm--that was impulsive of me--I just..I wanted you to...I wanted to tell you..but if you don't want that--me--I'd understand."
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Maybe.
He didn't want the other pulling away, not if he could help it. Although there isn't much force behind it, the grab being gentle, something Rung could easily break if he wanted.
"I-" what does he even say? "I don't... What- Did you just kiss me?"
Let's start with something simple.
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"...I told you. I..I want to be able to do that, which is why I can't be your therapist because it oversteps a lot of boundaries when it comes to doctor-patient relations and--" He stops himself, realizing he's starting to ramble and instead moves his arm to break Dead End's grip, taking a hold of the other's hand and bringing it to his own cheek now.
"...If you'll have me..that is."
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Wait.
"But I-" he cuts himself off as Rung moves his hand.
Oh. Well frag him.
Literally, right here, right now.Someone please say this wasn't some dream experience. He'd barely been recharging to begin with. It wasn't right?"...You don't... hate me?"
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There's a shy note creeping into his voice, the therapist kind of looking everywhere but Dead End at the moment.
"..I..would be lying if I said it wasn't nice waking up with you beside me."
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He moves his hand down the side of Rung's face, pausing before pulling his hand away.
"I, I'd like... this," there's an unspoken 'but' in there, as he turns his gaze to the ground. "I'm not a good choice, Rung."
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"...I think you're a perfect choice," he said without hesitation, shifting closer as he reached up to rest a hand against Dead End's cheek, trying to get the other to meet his gaze. "I don't care what you were or what you have to do. It's who you are and I accept that. It doesn't change the fact that I care about you, a lot."
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What is he supposed to do?
He can't exactly agree with Rung, that he's a perfect choice. Not when there's probably Autobots out there, who'd be a much better match for the other. Other bots out there who aren't Decepticons, and who don't feed off of others. Those sound far more perfect than him, and he does his best to avoid looking up at Rung, despite the touch to his cheek.
"I survive by feeding off your energy Rung, you can do better than me." He protests, voice growing quiet. He wants this. Primus, how he wants this. But there's no way the universe would let him have it. If this isn't a dream, Rung must just be caught up in the moment.
"Maybe you need some time to think about it... Look at your other options." Time to properly crush whatever amount of hope decided to crawl into his processor.
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Surprise, Dead End.
"I care about you and I want to...be with you..if you'll have me. I know it's not generally what most want, being in a relationship with a therapist but I..." he trailed off, knowing he was moving down that path of degrading himself a bit with his words, instead opting to caress the others cheeks. "...I'd like a chance to try this..if you'd be willing."
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There was no denying that it was a nice thing to hear.
But that only left one thing twisting around in his head - just what was the universe planning? Nothing good had happened to him since the dark energon, it wouldn't just do something nice for him without something disastrous happening to make up for it. His luck was not that good. Life didn't like him that much.
The mention of Prima does snap him out of his thoughts, for the moment, Dead End looking up at Rung, a tad confused.
"You... did?"
Oh. Unexpected. He hadn't thought that any of the Firstforged would have had the time. Or cared. He isn't too sure how he feels about it, but this conversation wasn't about his diet.
"I don't," he shuffles, those recently repaired wings twitching nervously. "I don't mind that you're a therapist," because if Rung was going to judge him he'd have done it already. He'd have done so and they wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
"I still feel you need time to really think about this... I- I like you, I want to... But there are better choices out there. Ones that won't let you get hurt... Where you don't have to worry about being eaten in your sleep."
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And that was something he wanted to make extremely clear to the other. Despite the oddity of Dead End's eating habits, Rung trusted him and knew that the other was good at core, even with that Decepticon symbol he bore. The other had never done anything to not deserve the therapist's trust and he had been nothing but kind to Rung from the get go.
"If I get hurt, it's my own fault. I have a nasty habit of getting myself into bad situations and I just have plain old bad luck on top of it. If anything, I worry that being with me would get you hurt, because that's the last thing I want to see happen," he said sincerely, a pained looked going through his optics. "Again that is..because seeing you as you were after your fight with those creatures..."
It had hurt his spark. A lot. And combine that with the fact that he hadn't been able to do anything to help Dead End and he just felt absolutely worthless.
"I know you don't like to think highly of yourself but I can see everything that's good about you, Dead End, and that's why I want this. That's why I want you."
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"It wasn't your fault, it was mine." The Stunticon protests, "If you hadn't known then you wouldn't have gone out... You'd have been okay. It was my bad luck rubbing off on you, good things just don't happen with me."
Lifting his hands he pulls Rung's away from his face. There's. There's a lot that needs to be said.
"There's games that involve beating me up, you know. Being with you... I'd get just as hurt as I do for just existing."
Not that he's saying it would be a good idea, because it wouldn't.
"You deserve better than me."
Better than some Decepticon that doesn't fight back.
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"If anyone tries to hurt you, they won't get away with it. I don't care what others think or feel. I don't need to them to dictate what I do. I've lived long enough to be able to take care of myself, despite how it may seem at times," he said in all seriousness. He was older than most of the individuals here and yet others treated him like he was young at times.
Just because he had bad luck didn't mean he was young. Rung just wasn't a fighter so when placed in a situation that required fighting..well..
"To me, you are the best I could ask for, despite what you might think or what others might say. It's their own fault for not giving you a chance. I enjoy your company, your presence, and this is what I want, Dead End."
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He gives the therapist a concerned look, trying to help and not being able to fight was what landed him in the medbay to begin with. Who knows what standing up for him might result in.
The last thing he wants is for Rung to sustain injuries worse than he had this time around. Or worse, die because of him,
"But I," How does anyone argue with this bot? Were all therapists this stubborn? "You really want this? ...Shouldn't you maybe give it one more night of thinking. Recharge on it, in case you change your mind."
He'd probably change his mind. That was how life was.
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"I want this, Dead End. I've never been more sure of anything," Rung added, optics softening in a gentle expression as he freed one of his hands and reached up to brush his fingers along the other's jawline.
"Please don't push me away.."
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If he was treating him, he wouldn't be 'treating him' or so Skids had said. That would explain some things, but why him? Why would his luck suddenly change?
A mech he liked actually liking him back? This wasn't before the war, when he'd sweet-talk customers. This kind of thing didn't happen to him these days, especially not when that other was an Autobot.
"I don't... I don't want to push you away..." He should though. For Rung's sake. His continued survival too.
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"Good...because I really don't want you to," he murmured, allowing himself to be a little wanting for once. To show just how much he wanted this; wanted Dead End.
The hesitation crept back in now, Rung unsure what else to say at this point though he could think of a couple of things to do. There was just a shyness again, one that he couldn't seem to shake even though he was already so close to the other.
"..Is...could I..." the therapist started then paused, starting to draw his hand away before stopping, peering up at the other.
And then he just said screw it.
Leaning up, he kissed the other again, eyes flickering offline as he cupped the cheek he'd been caressing, his other arm going around Dead End's neck.
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"Hm-" he starts a question but is cut off by a kiss. Well, when Rung wanted something he went for it.
Stubborn therapist who he can't argue with.
Eventually he relaxes some and presses into the kiss, arms gently wrapping around the Autobot and pulling him right up close. Frag he'd forgotten how good this was...
Frag he's going to hate himself when this all goes bad. Everything good always goes bad.
Hesitantly he pulls away, the faintest little smile on his face. "I, uh... Rung, do me a favor? I want you to think on this, just one more night okay... It. It doesn't have to be tonight... Maybe tomorrow. But, just think about this. I don't want to hurt you if it ends badly, and knowing me it probably will."
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