re_alignment_logs | [Open] The worst is over now...?

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[Open] The worst is over now...?

WHO: Smokescreen and whoever finds him
WHERE: Near the lake in Alpha Trion's quadrant
WHEN After the events with him and Bulkhead having to kill Optimus.
WHAT: A certain rookie is overcome with grief.
WARNINGS: N/A

Smokescreen had fled.

He probably should have stayed near Bulkhead, stayed with his teammate and helped him with..well..everything but the rookie couldn't handle it. Having to offline Optimus, having to be there when it happened, it wasn't something that sat well with him.

At all.

His spark felt heavy and his mind was a mess, the young Autobot not knowing what else to do but flee. So he did, making a break for the only place he really felt safe on this odd version of Cybertron: Alpha Trion's quadrant. For what seemed like forever he just drove, going in circles and just trying to forget everything that had gone on but things were never that easy. The death of someone he admired, looked up to..it wasn't something easy to just shake off, no matter what war had taught him and eventually he'd worn himself out to the point that he barely managed to transform, sinking down to sit by the edge of the lake.

Smokescreen's doorwings were heavy on his back, hanging almost completely limp as he drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around them tightly. It was childish--he was acting like a sparkling doing this but he just couldn't help it.

Primus did it hurt.

He felt like an absolutely failure, a disgrace to the Autobots because he hadn't been able to do anything to help. Their Prime had needed them--needed him--and in the end, Optimus had died because they couldn't help him. A large part of Smokescreen wished that it had been him, wished that he could have just traded places and been the one to die. Optimus Prime..he was everything to them. He was their hope for the future really and now he was gone.

A shudder coursed through him and Smokescreen dropped his head, optics offlining as he hugged his legs closer to his chest. The same word kept repeating itself over and over in his head, drowning him in the unanswered question...

Why?

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Tensing when he registered the presence of another, Smokescreen allowed the other to approach as he at least recognized the signature as an Autobot--even if it wasn't one he recognized. His optics came online for a moment, the scout lifting his head to glance over his shoulder at the scientist, looking him over.

Nope. Still not all that familiar.

"....I guess," he murmured, shrugging some, his door wings staying limp as he looked away again, optics dimming though staying online this time.

He took that as a better reaction than none. At least the younger 'bot was capable of reacting at all. Some soldiers, suffering severe loss weren't capable of even that.

Perceptor stepped forward, his arms still behind his back, looking, for all intents and purposes, as if he were studying the lake.

"I was tasked with keeping an optic on you," he admitted. It was pretty abrupt, but. No sense in dragging things out. "I suppose it's best to provide you a location, in case you require my assistance."

"...So you're my spark sitter?" Smokescreen muttered, not sounding all that pleased with the idea but, then again, he was also just in a bad state so everything was kind of crappy to him.

He pulled his legs closer, staring out over the lake through narrowed optics, visibly stuck between pouting and being upset.

"Did..he ask you too?"

"Nothing of the sort," he answered, scowling out at the water. One hand gestured at the air, little stabbing motions of indignation. "I'd rather study mud for the rest of my existence than become a glorified protoform-minder. I was simply..."

Though the next question cut Perceptor off mid-tirade. He trailed off, falling quiet, arms folded.

"That he did," he admitted. "And while I am many things, being 'above the request of Optimus Prime' is not one of them."

Smokescreen couldn't help but let out a faint, amused sound, the other's rambling and attitude entertaining.

"At least you're respecting what he asked...makes you at least a decent bot," the rookie murmured, vents cycling softly as he slowly loosened his grip on his legs, sitting up a bit straighter.

He needed to pull himself together; needed to get his head back on straight.

"Of course I am."

He honestly sounded offended by the prospect. Why wouldn't he honor a request from Prime? He'd built the entire Ark on his leader's order, after all. He was an Autobot, after all.

"Respecting his wishes, I mean." Another hand wave, and he shook his head. "Few would go so far as to say 'decent'. I'm not terribly popular."

Not that he minded. "I'll forward you my coordinates... unless you require repairs, or something along those lines."

"Wow, you aren't?" Smokescreen muttered before he could stop himself, wincing, his shoulders hunching some as his pulled together mood crumbled just a bit. "Sorry. I--sorry." He glanced away again, reaching up to rub the back of his neck as his doorwings sagged a bit.

He shouldn't be taking things out on others and he knew it. Everything was just so screwed up...

"...I appreciate this..I do. So thank you."

Big shoulders shrugged. "No need. I'm well aware that I possess something of an abrasive personality." He looked at Smokescreen, then, studying the hunched posture, noting it carefully. "Though... in times such as this, perhaps it's of benefit. At least, in a fashion, those who are suffering have something to lash out against."

His way of saying he honestly didn't mind getting snapped at right now. He wasn't suffering, personally. If it could, somehow, alleviate the strain his fellow Autobots were under, he had no qualms about it.

"I... admit that I have never experienced so personal a loss as you currently are," Perceptor said, at length. "But I have borne witness to war, and its effects upon our race. As a result... I suggest you do not keep yourself so closed off. Whatever you feel you must do... do so. Allow yourself to feel."

Don't distance yourself.

He would know.

Smokescreen was quiet for a long moment after Perceptor had spoken, weighing the other's words and considering the message behind it all. He appreciated what the other was doing, even if he was in a piss poor mood and not showing it well, and after a moment his posture changed, the rookie relaxing--shoulders and doorwings sagging as he became less defensive and more visibly open about his upset.

Not too much but just enough so that the other would be aware he wasn't really mad.

"...I'll try not to. It--I've never...I was in stasis for a lot of the war," he admitted, rubbing one of his arms a bit. "I've been so stupid about everything. Then I came here and it was a huge smack of reality, more so than being on Earth with Team Prime ever was."

"You are young, aren't you?"

He didn't mean it to come out as a slight, more an observation. And a curious one at that. There weren't a great deal of young 'bots anymore. Not after the war began, and the cities turned to ruin.

He took a few steps forward, to draw even with the young one.

"It would seem that, regardless of where we are, the differences between Autobots and Decepticons remain. Idealism, depravity, sadism, courage... so long as there are personalities similar to those we left, the fighting, the violence, shall continue."

Whether he was trying to reassure Smokescreen, or advise him, even Perceptor himself wasn't entirely sure.

"In such a world, there is little room for being young as you are. For being foolish as you claim." He glanced down, regarding the huddled frame. "You will need to adapt. To grow up, as it were." Something in his tone softened a fraction.

"Reality often smacks less terribly, when you do so."

Smokescreen winced some, unable to look at Perceptor before he really was starting to hate the fact that he was a lot younger than all the others. He was inexperienced and just..not on par with his comrades.

And it sucked.

"Yeah...guess so. Unfortunately," he murmured, feeling the urge to just go hide somewhere now and just..he didn't even know what. He was feeling more and more inadequate as of late. And Smokescreen knew it wasn't going to do him any good to wallow it was just hard. Really hard sometimes.

He glanced up at the other, feeling like he was getting a lecture all of a sudden and he wasn't really sure how to take it. What Perceptor was saying was very true but...that didn't mean he wanted to hear it at the moment.

"You don't think I've been growing up? I'm just not--I haven't had the experiences others have had, and I know that's no excuse but I have no idea what I'm doing or how to handle any of this!"

"How is it unfortunate? As I understand it, 'young' Autobots are rare to find in... many universes."

Apparently, it doesn't occur to the tank that what he said could have been misconstrued. Though, when Smokescreen spoke again, the thought did occur to him.

His head tilted.

"I didn't say that."

Perceptor went silent for a moment, studying Smokescreen as if the younger Autobot were some new, interesting, bit of data. One hand tapped his chin.

"Perhaps you don't now," he said. "But you've quite a lot of time to learn, don't you?" Yellow optics glittered, as he smirked, ever so slightly. "Likely... that would be the reason Optimus suggested Commander Magnus and I look out for you. The, ah... wisdom of experience."

"Because the likelihood of me doing stupid things is a lot higher. I have this think about making a fool of myself sometimes," Smokescreen admitted, doorwings sagging even more now because he knew that he was still very 'green', as Arcee had always said.

It just sucked.

His optics flickered as Perceptor spoke, thinking what the other said over for a moment. Maybe that was the reasoning; maybe Optimus was looking for someone to teach him in his absence. Though why hadn't he asked Bulkhead?--though maybe that was just a given. (Which, he really did need to go check on his teammate.) Smokescreen's optics flickered again as he snapped out of his thoughts, focusing on Perceptor again and nodding just a bit, the faintest of grins appearing, though there wasn't a whole lot behind it; not yet at least.

"Yeah..maybe...you think you've got things to teach me then, Percy?"

"Yes, well, that's a given, however..." He held up a finger. "The same can be said of many 'elder' Autobots as well. No one is immune to foolishness."

Except for those with vast amounts of intelligence, such as himself, of course. Even if it seemed that Magnus thought otherwise about him. He looked away, back over the lake, for a time, until Smokescreen spoke again.

"I have many things to teach," he said, noting that slight grin. Good. An improvement. "Though I'm not terribly certain if molecular fusion is of any use to one such as yourself."

A beat, and he scowled, faintly.

"Perceptor, thank you."

An amused sound escaped Smokescreen before he could stop himself.

"Yeah..I guess that's pretty true," he agreed, his grin staying in place--possibly even growing just a touch more--when the other bot scowled at the shortened name that had been used. "Right, sorry. I'll try and remember that, sir," Smokescreen said sincerely, or maybe it wasn't all that sincere. It was hard to tell.

Either way, there was still a look on thanks in his optics.

"Molecular fusion probably isn't but in general, I think you've got a lot of wisdom and stuff to pass on...so I guess it won't be so bad having you looking out for me if I need it."

If Perceptor had eyebrows to raise, he would have done so just then. Sir. Now, that sounded good. Not that he intended to let it go to his head, but, respect was nice to have, every now and again. "I'll accept that," he said, brightly.

Regardless of the sincerity of the remark.

He inclined his head slightly, in acknowledgment.

"Of course it won't be. You'll learn much, I'm certain."

"I'll keep that in mind then," Smokescreen mused softly, figuring respect was something he could give the other since Perceptor did honestly seem to be trying to help him.

The other was kind of interesting, amusing even, so it wouldn't be all bad. He wasn't Optimus Prime but few were..so Smokescreen would make the best of what he did have.

"I hope so. I look forward to it."

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[Open] The worst is over now...?

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