re_alignment_logs | questions, answers, etc

WHO: Ambulon, Pharma, Drift
WHERE: Oh, you know... Wandering. I'm going to say somewhere around/near the Junkpile, but not quite in it.
WHEN Going to say a few days after the party at the club, when Ambulon can see straight again.
WHAT: Ambulon decides to search for Pharma, because he needs details on the Delphi incident. Drift is called in for backup.
WARNINGS: Nothing I can think of. I guess if Pharma tries to put up a fight, some violence?

Ambulon was pretty sure Blurr would chew out his audiols if he knew what he was doing. Probably burn and disintegrate them with how fast he talked. He'd ditched any bodyguard Blurr had suggested; though maybe they were following him, he honestly didn't know.

It'd been about two hours now. (Would've been considerably less, if he had a good alt mode.) Ambulon had tried to put himself in Pharma's mindset - actually, in the mindset of a criminal on the run. Where would they hide? The junkpile felt too obvious, but after searching pretty much everywhere else... Well, it seemed the only place left. The only place he could think of that would provide proper cover.

Ambulon arrived at the outskirts of the heap of junk and debris. Coming here unarmed was a ridiculous idea, he knew, but... Well, it's not like he had any weapons on him to bring. (Should probably think about investing in one...)

Besides, Drift would be waiting for the call.

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Ambulon ignored Pharma's dig into Drift's past. Not his problem, not important. He listened carefully, however, and... Well, he wouldn't confess that he was somewhat... relieved? What Pharma did was still wrong, but at least his reason why had some sort of merit. For a moment, Ambulon stayed quiet, debating if Pharma was being honest or just trying to make himself out to be a damn martyr. Autobots were not automatically saints.

In the end, he was still confused.

"I have a feeling you're omitting some details," he said a moment later. "So you did what you thought was right then? Did you steal only from the deceased?" Because the idea that Pharma would kill patients for t-cogs... He shook his head. "Why didn't you come to First Aid and I? Why didn't you ask for help? We could have figured something out. Together. You didn't have to suffer alone, you know." He cursed and looked away; Pharma's damn Autobot pride.

And to answer Pharma's question, finally: "I would have come to you. I would have. You and First Aid. You had that alternative; don't tell me you didn't. Don't tell me you could condemn an entire clinic and its patients, as well as your colleagues if need be, but seeking help was completely out of the question."

Drift gives a snort of laughter that surprises himself with its bitterness. "If you think anyone's 'given me a pass' because of what I did, you...," he shrugs. It's almost ridiculous. No one trusted him.

"You realize, that you could have engineered this virus and set it loose on the DJD instead? It would have made you a hero, Pharma. Instead, you chose collaboration and the murder of your own kind."

Pharma holds up a hand- an ironic thing to do near Drift- indicating he has more to say yet.

"Do you seriously think I didn't consider that?" he replies to the swordsmech. "I'm not an idiot. I went over all of my options countless times. I even went so far as to ask Sonic and Boom to detonate the sound bomb within range of the DJD. You know what their response was? 'Not for anything in the world.' I don't know if you understand exactly how powerful the mechs that will be coming after you are, Drift. But I suggest you take them as a threat level on par with Megatron himself."

Done with that explanation, he readies himself for Ambulon's, which is quite a bit trickier to answer.

"I never intended to take t-cogs from anyone but the dead," he says slowly. "And you'd have come to me, eh? Do you know why? Because you know you aren't intelligent enough to handle it yourself. You would involve others, endanger others because you don't have the processor or the nerve to be the one who takes on the mess."

Pharma's tone of voice gets harsher with each word, hands balling into fists, his optics narrow but burning brightly. "I knew I was the only one who could handle it. And I would NOT involve anyone else, especially not anyone who might crack under the pressure!"

All those times... having to endure Tarn's teasing, threatening. Keeping everything secret. In order. Walking the razor's edge, knowing that if he could just make it out on the other side... if he was just smart enough...

"I had no intention of condemning the clinic...or either of you..." Pharma says, suddenly quieter now. "It wasn't supposed to come down to that. I...I failed. At my duty. At everything I'd worked so hard for."

The wing panels on his arms droop, balled fists falling into his lap and uncurling.

Ambulon remained calm. Yup, immunity to Pharma's biting tongue. Pharma never really liked him, but that was fine - Ambulon respected him (well, did) more than like him. "You always seem to assume the worst..." In him? Ambulon didn't know, really. "You think I would crack under the pressure? I would have stayed with my patients. I would have willingly infected myself, put my life on the line for them. I wouldn't have run." He narrowed his optics. "And, apparently, I didn't run. I stayed and fought. And so did First Aid."

He folded his arms again. "You never intended to hurt us? Why do I find that hard to believe? Especially when your plan fell to pieces?" Like, perhaps, put the blame on someone else so they could suffer for your wounded pride? Maybe?

Ambulon sneered. "You talk how people are weak and incapable of handling pressure. We're doctors. We worked at Delphi, on DJD territory. And you know what? Everything backfired on you. Just as you said, you failed. And then in your fear you go and murder First Aid? It sounds like you're the one who cracked under pressure. You're the one who was too weak. And if there was indeed an ounce of sympathy for us left in you, you would have known as colleagues and friends, you wouldn't be sharing any burden. We'd gladly help you out."

[ooc: Also, I don't think Ambulon ever found out Pharma tried to pin the blame on him, so yeah lol.]

"There was something you could have done," Drift says. "Something that doesn't ruin the very nature of what it is to be a medic."

Drift may be a killer, but he did it cleanly, at least, and openly. It was the first time he felt almost morally superior to someone. To be honest, he didn't enjoy it as much as he thought he might.

Pharma scowls at both of them, turning his head away and staring out at the expanse of junk on the horizon.

"You stayed and fought, yes. But it was not the DJD you went up against. It was me. And I was going to give you the mercy of a swift death. Ratchet and Drift ruined everything- forced me to sloppily race to finish it."

Blame was not something Pharma took easily. In fact, he had managed to avoid it completely his entire career up until the Delphi incident. He was perfect and if things went wrong then it was someone else who was less perfect's fault.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I would not want to harm my staff? I worked you hard, yes- and I disliked you for being an ex-decepticon, but I did not wish you dead."

He falls silent again, listening to their accusations of weakness with closed optics, silent save for the frantic whirring of cooling fans. The only indication of his feelings is the slight tremor in the fingers that now clutch at his arms.

"...Hind-sight is twenty-twenty isn't it?" he whispers. "It doesn't matter what decision I made. It only matters that I failed."

"I'm not complaining about being overworked or worked too hard, Pharma," Ambulon nearly snapped. "I'm complaining about the fact that you still don't see the point we're trying to make. You just..." He clenched his fists. "Nevermind. You obviously don't get it. And you never will."

Ambulon turned away then. It was... tragic. Seeing someone once so brilliant torn down to this mess. Yet he didn't want to say what was on his mind right now. More questions to ask, but... Not now, at least. Not when he was still angry.

"I'm done," he said, and glanced back to Drift. "If you've any questions, go ahead and ask. If not, then take him to the police. But..." Ambulon looked back at Pharma, and worst he knew for the doctor was not the rage in his optics, but the pity. "I'm done."

Mercy of a swift death? "What would you know about 'mercy', Pharma? You were eliminating witnesses, that's all." And he shuddered to think how closely he'd come to being 'eliminated' along with them.

Ironic that Pharma despised he and Ambulon for their Decepticon pasts, when he'd acted just as bad as a Decepticon at his worst.

"...why? Why heal the Red Rust, here?" He wants to hear that this was an attempt at redemption, a new start. He's trying to give Pharma the chance he never got.

questions, answers, etc

is there where the dramatic sad violin starts playing

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