re_alignment_logs | Hangin' out [open]

Drift gave Wing an almost inquisitive look before ordering a drink for himself. Something strong, but not too strong.

"You weren't expecting me, were you?" Because if Wing had been then it meant that he was paying closer attention to Drift than he realized. That may or may not have been a good thing. Drift was undecided.

Wing couldn't help that he looked amused. "No," he answered honestly. His smile faded a bit and he looked over at Drift. "I'm not really surprised to see you in here, though."

He couldn't help that he was a bit worried for his roommate. This wasn't the Drift he was used to, it was almost painful to see him like this. "You need to talk about it?"

"No, no no no, there's nothing... I mean, I'm just adjusting! You know? To all this."

Well, it was half true, at least. He made a general sweeping motion with his arm, as if that was supposed to help explain what all this was.

"You have to admit, it's kind of a lot to take in."

"Mm-hmm." It should be clear by his tone of that "agreement", and the look he's giving Drift, that he doesn't buy it. "It is a lot to take in. Have you been drowning yourself in high-grade the whole time or just since I got here?"

Wow, that look. Drift quickly decided that he really, really didn't like that look, and suddenly found the contents of his glass far more interesting than maintaining eye contact. As was draining the contents of that glass in one shot.

"I haven't been that bad. Like, okay, maybe a little meditation to clear my aura would be a better approach. No, not even 'maybe', it would be. My energies are all out of whack lately, and-" Aaand he was rambling. Totally smooth.

"Anyway. There was kind of a lot going on before I arrived here, and I didn't part on very good terms with... a lot of people." In a round about way, it answered Wing's question. Drift's been drowning in high-grade since day one. Well, maybe not drowning, but still. "I don't want to complain about it, though. I really don't. I don't have any right to."

Wing was going to try to stop that shot. He flung a hand out to clap over the top of Drift's cube, and would at least try to push it down, if not pull it out of Drift's hands completely. He was worried for his roommate, his friend. All this talk of meditation and straightening out his aura and he's still not done it. Tsk tsk.

Wing stood, leaving his energon on the counter...Drift's too if the bot relinquished it. "Walk with me."

Once upon a time, Drift would have told Wing to go frag himself and then start bitching if Wing didn't stop hounding him. Today, all he does in protest is huff and hesitate to budge for a few seconds before standing to follow.

"Wing, I'm fine. I mean it. It's just a little stress, it'll pass."

Once upon a time Wing would have presented a solution to Drift as a challenge, something that would play on the "superior Decepticon" pride to get Drift to do what he needed to do. Now, though, he feels rather confident that Drift will follow, and do as Wing directs. At least he hopes.

He slows his pace to walk beside Drift, just making sure the bot stays with him. And he doesn't bother to address that argument. Drift, you're not fine, but when he's done with you, hopefully you will be. Wing goes from bar to Atrium, glad to find it empty. He'll find a comfortable corner for them to sit in. Wing will settle, legs folded beneath him, and will motion to the spot in front of him. "Join me." Are you reading this yet, Drift? He's going to meditate with you, mech!

Edited 2014-05-22 16:46 (UTC)

In all honesty, Drift had half expected Wing to start thumping on him like he did back in the day. Well, back in the day for Drift, anyway. He caught on pretty quickly to what Wing actually had in mind and joined him on the floor. Meditating, okay. Easy. He usually did this alone, it was easier to focus. Well, he didn't think Wing was going to distract him, at least not deliberately, but the fact that he was just sitting there was almost distracting in itself. Somehow.

And now he was over thinking something as simple as meditating. Damn, he really was frazzled. He straightened his back and gave Wing an inquisitive look. Was this all Wing had in mind? Seemed pretty simple compared to what Drift was used to with him.

Drift didn't need a thumping...yet. Wing was hoping to use a more peaceful solution this time around. Don't disappoint him, Drift.

Wing let his engine rev then drop to a deep idling drone; the sound meant to be a soothing white noise to help drown the silence that so easily allowed a mind to wander. "Walk me through your usual meditative steps." Wing meditated daily. Drift may or may not recall the times back in alCrystal City when he'd wake to find Wing sitting on his berth, often with his great sword across his knees; he was meditating. He wanted to know how Drift meditated, how he put his aura back in alignment.

"Well, almost everyone I ended up sharing space with was incredibly energetic to the point of interfering with my internal rhythm, so I always retreated to my own space. I usually prefer seclusion, anyway. A peaceful environment. This is okay, though, where we are now."

Nobody was running up and down the halls playing catch with hand grenades, at least. Yeah, that was a legit thing that happened on his last ship. Yeah. "I usually have a calming background noise going, switch my optics off for a while. You know, basic meditative techniques."

"And once you've settled?" Settling in silence was only the first step. "Do you have a particular technique for emptying your mind?" He didn't want to mess with something that already worked for Drift. He was ready to teach though tok if the mech needed some guidance.

"Admittedly, that isn't something I've quite perfected yet. Sometimes I don't have any trouble shutting thoughts out. Other times I just try to focus on something positive for a while. Like a place where I've felt at peace, or maybe I'll focus on a person or something they've said to me."

Nobody had really asked him these sorts of questions before, everyone else usually just seemed to chalk it up to Drift being a weird hippy and tended to give him his space. It felt awkward to talk about, especially with Wing, considering he'd usually been one of those few people Drift had let his mind wander to.

"I know it isn't really proper technique, though. What would you suggest?"

Edited (peace not piece >8U) 2014-05-22 22:42 (UTC)

Wing nodded. So meditation was something he's picked up on, but not necessarily been taught. "Off line your optics, vent deeply and slowly." His voice is soft, not quite a monotone as he speaks, almost sounding like a harmony to the low drone of his engine. "Empty your mind. If you find yourself thinking of something, acknowledge the thought then put it aside. Do not let yourself become frustrated with stray thoughts, they are neither good or bad, just something to be acknowledge and dealt with later." Wing was following his own example, gold optics dark. The soft hum of his vents slowly drawing in air and then pushing the air slowly back out lent another almost musical quality to the mix of Wing's voice and engine.

Edited 2014-05-22 23:11 (UTC)

Drift listened intently, studying the other mech as he spoke. It seemed so simple when Wing explained it, when he demonstrated it, but then again the guy was basically the living embodiment of zen as far as Drift was concerned. Even his voice and the hum of his engine seemed to have been designed around enhancing the calmness of those around him.

And then Drift realized he was flat out just staring, and abruptly off lined his optics. Well this was off to a great start, wasn't it. At least it was salvageable. Following Wing's advice, Drift vented deeply, slowly, soon falling into a rhythm with the other mech.

Once Drift's venting fell i to time with his, Wing spoke again. "Let your mind be in the moment. Concentrate on venting, but also be aware of all the sounds around you." It might take a little bit, but Drift should eventually realize he's hearing so much more than the sounds of Wing's engines and venting, or even the sounds of his own. There's the soft sound of a breeze outside, just barely audible and easily missed while indoors, or the soft hum of voices, maybe someone else in the build talking over their Link. Or the soft sounds of movements as the server drones kept the bar clean. All soft, all barely there, unless you let yourself hear them.

Drift wasn't entirely sure what being aware of sounds had to do with all this, but he didn't argue. He focused on listening, not for anything in particular. He really didn't notice anything at first, but gradually he started picking up different noises, faint sounds he could barely hear.

He was concentrating so hard on it that he didn't even notice that he had his head cocked to the side like some kind of confused kitten. It was probably pretty goofy looking, but hey.

Wing would explain everything in the wrap up, in brief it was about being, living, in the moment. One could not smooth their aura if they were living in torment of the past or worry of the future.

After a time Wing spoke again. "Let your awareness turn to your body. Start at your feet. Feel the light on your armor, feel the shadows. Move next to your ankles. When you come across tension in your cables push it out with your next ex-vent." Wing paused to let Drift do as told. Already sensitive to the stillness and quiet Drift may notice how the light, which normally wouldn't feel warm, did indeed feel warm on his armor, the shadows cool and comfortable. After what will feel like minutes and yet also only feel like mere seconds Wing will speak again, drawing concentration higher up the body. The lower legs were next, knee joints, and then upper legs. Hip joints followed, then torso, shoulders, neck, then finally head. Wing paused at each, giving them both time to vent and feel, time to loose the tension that may be found.

"Life is best lived in the present. When you let your mind concentrate on the past you lose sight of what you have, when you let your mind concentrate on the future you overwhelm yourself with the strain of something outside of your control. When you find your mind in these places turn first to this before the drink." Wing let the rumble of his engine fall back to normal, the session over. They've probably spent the last hour meditating, hopefully it doesn't feel like that long to Drift. Wing has onlined his optics and is studying his roommate and...friend. Drift is his friend. "How do you feel now?"

"Better".

Not great, but definitely better. Putting his troubles out of his mind, even for a little while, had really helped to clear his head. Or aura. Either way. He let out one final, slow ex-vent before on-lining his optics again.

"A lot better. I don't... like to admit it, but the past is something I've always had trouble putting out of my mind. That's something I'm going to have to work on. I don't wish to be a burden, but... If it's no trouble. I'd like to do this with you again in the future."

"It takes time, and practice. What you need it to come to terms with your past, Drift. It's something you can't change, and it will always be a part of who you are. You past has shaped you into who you are today. I know you may think you would like to change that, but then you wouldn't be you anymore."

Wing reached out to put a hand on Drift's knee. "We can do this every day, at any time that you feel the need." He smiled. "I want to help you, friend, just as much now as I did when we first met, if in different ways now."

The trouble with that logic was the fact that Drift wasn't entirely sure if he was happy with who he was today. "I've tried to come to terms with it. I'm working on it, I mean, but I guess I don't really know how."

That wasn't really the sort of thing he liked to admit to people. Drift was usually content to keep his issues to himself. It was just easier. A lot of the Autobots Drift had met after joining were aware of his past. Few of them trusted him, and frankly Drift didn't feel he had any right to fret over himself when he'd been responsible for the deaths of so many Autobots. Wing was different, though. Wing had seen him at his worst, but hadn't judged him. Hadn't turned him away. Drift still wasn't entirely comfortable with sharing personal issues, but with Wing, he probably could.

Speaking of Wing, Drift hadn't noticed his hand on his knee right away. Well that got his attention.

"Thank you, Wing. Really. I appreciate it."

"We can work on it together." He knew where Drift had come from, he knew that Drift had been a violent mech, and he imagined it made life rather had for him now. But they were in a new place, with new opportunities, and Wing would do all he could to help Drift accept himself.

His smile grew. "You're very welcome." It still felt a little odd to hear Drift thank him, but he wasn't going to complain

Edited 2014-05-23 02:47 (UTC)

Drift couldn't help but smile back. Even if he wasn't over his issues, he felt reassured. He knew he could trust Wing to help him.

"Maybe we should get up off the floor, huh?"

Wing laughed and pushed easily and smoothly to his feet. He held out a hand to offer Drift a hand up. "I guess we should. Care to show me how you've improved at the other lessons I gave you?" There's a playful glint to his optics in the offer.

Okay, that Drift felt confident about. He gave the other mech a grin and took his hand, rising to his feet.

"Good plan. A little practice couldn't hurt, don't want to start getting rusty, do we?"

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