notyourblueangel: (Alt - Missiles Away!)
Thundercracker ([personal profile] notyourblueangel) wrote in [community profile] re_alignment_logs2013-11-16 09:46 pm

Wake to find the pain is real [Narrative and OPEN]

WHO: Thundercracker and OPEN
WHEN: This afternoon shortly after this post and well into tonight...or whenever either he runs out of energy or someone talks him down. 9,9
WHAT: BLOWIN'. SHIT. UP. ...aka grieving Decepticon coping the only way he knows how...which is to say, not at all. orz
WARNINGS: Uh...well, besides RAEGY Seeker? Probably a lot of cursing, Cybertronian-style . . . property damage (but not to anything anyone owns [unless you WANT him to hit it by accident??]) . . . angst in general?
NOTES: He'll be airborne for the most part, but if someone radios him or just flags him down, especially someone he knows in the latter case, he'll respond and land.

No . . . NO!  That wasn't real!  That HADN'T BEEN REAL!

So why had it happened anyway!?

. . .

It was like waking from a nightmare only to find it had been a premonition of sorts.  A premonition that came true, at least in part.  The most important part.

The nightmare had been of everything being ripped from him - from his home through his freedom and all the way down to his very dignity.  Even now he remembered the abuses and the tortures, the degradations, the humiliation of the auction blocks and the agony of electro-whips across his wings.  But there'd always been one constant - his surviving wingmate, Skywarp.  And then he too had been taken, and Thundercracker had been left alone.  That had been - or at least felt like - the last straw in his sanity.

Reality was that . . . well, he supposed he could see it as a slavery of sorts.  He'd served someone he didn't want to but in some ways at least felt he had no choice.  He did, of course, but . . . lesser of evils and all that.  Vos had still been destroyed forever ago, but at least not in the same way, and both of his wingmates had survived, alive and as free as any Decepticon who served closely under Megatron.  And then he'd come here . . . and he'd been alone.  But he'd been free in ways he'd not known for so long that it took him months to figure out what to do with himself.  Slowly, he'd managed to make friends, and joined the police force, and . . . and life had been good.  But there'd always been something missing.  His trine.  There was a Starscream here, but they'd never really managed to bond - the other Seeker was busy with other people and things and it had just not really happened.  And Skywarp wasn't here.

Until suddenly he was.

Thundercracker had been ecstatic.  Even after realizing the mech wasn't "his" Skywarp but one from another reality, the similarities had been enough.  He had his wingmate back.  Thundercracker had flown with Wing a few times, and had appreciated and enjoyed it, but nothing replaced having another Seeker at his wingtip . . . and no other Seeker - Pit, not even Starscream - could replace Skywarp.

Thundercracker had been here for over a year now.  Well over.  And Skywarp had been here for most of that time.  Though he'd never admit to it, Thundercracker was a somewhat dependent mech.  He needed purpose and validation in his life, and found those in the things he did and the people he did them with.  It was one of the biggest reasons he'd finally applied to the police force.  But people had a greater influence on him in validating his existence, and no one moreso than Skywarp.

Then that . . . that utter nightmare had hit, and arguably nothing - nothing at all - in Thundercracker's entire life had ever left him so shaken, feeling vulnerable and violated and just plain terrified - of what could have been . . . of what, in a sense, had been.  As soon as he'd been himself again - his real self, thank you very much! - he'd gone looking for Skywarp.  For so many reasons.  To assure himself that his wingmate really was all right - was alive, whole, unbeaten, unbroken.  To validate himself.  To . . . fraggit, to have someone to talk to about what had happened!  To try to work through his own reactions and feelings.  To tell him he was being stupid for letting it upset him so badly.

But Skywarp wasn't there.

Thundercracker had posted to the Link once he was himself.  Skywarp never answered.  Thundercracker went looking . . . looked everywhere, checked all his haunts, continued to ping him, checked the bar at the Hub and every medbay in Haven.  Checked his room in Megatronus's temple.

Nothing.  Nowhere.  No sign, no reply, no Seeker.

Skywarp was gone.  As suddenly as he had been in the nightmare.

For Thundercracker, fear manifested as anger . . . uncertainty manifested as anger . . . depression manifested as anger . . . grief manifested as anger . . . feelings of abandonment, of betrayal, of...pretty much anything, manifested as anger.  Any two of those could send him into a rage, though always before he'd had to bottle it up, to hide and deny it until it passed, for fear of crossing Megatron.

Here and now?  Here he didn't have to hide it, bottle it, deny it.  And now, all of the above were coming into play.  Alone, they'd have been bad enough, but on the heels of the nightmare he'd just endured?  Intolerable!  And what did it all mix and boil into to manifest?

Pure . . . unadulterated . . . blinding . . . fury.  A fury with no target, no enemy, no outlet.  Not one he could reach, anyway.

So he's creating them.

Thundercracker is out and about, racing and strafing all over Haven, making as much noise and spreading as much random (mostly random) destruction as he can.  The sonic BOOMS that are his namesake can be heard for tens of miles.  His turbines rattle windows as he flies too close - far too close - to buildings of all shapes and sizes.  His rifles tear into mountainsides, random boulders, the surface of the lake in Alpha Trion's quadrant, and across long tracts of land.  He's not doing damage to anything that belongs to anyone (that he's aware of) - he's retaining enough presence of mind for that at least - but that's about it. 

Everything else is fair game.
a_father_to_his_men: (pic#3917649)

[personal profile] a_father_to_his_men 2013-11-17 08:27 am (UTC)(link)
Megatron saw the destruction, and who exactly was doing it. He had no doubt that Thundercracker had his reasons, but he did not like, nor accept what the flyer was doing.

With some calculations he brought himself up straight into Thundercracker's flightpath, not so close that they were sure to collide but more than enough that the flyer couldn't deny his presence there.

"Thundercracker, land, now."
a_father_to_his_men: (pic#3917642)


[personal profile] a_father_to_his_men 2013-12-01 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Megatron followed him down, glad that the flyer had listen to him, and transformed as he landed, making the action seem soft. He stepped closer to the flyer before sinking down himself and placing a hand on the other's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, my friend. I noticed your message but did not consider that you might need a friendly audio to let out your pain to. Or at least I think I am right in thinking that it is pain that prompted these actions." He kept his voice soft and gentle as he spoke, trying to let the flyer know he wasn't upset at him.
a_father_to_his_men: (pic#3917644)

[personal profile] a_father_to_his_men 2013-12-07 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
He reached out and pulled the flyer towards him, trying to offer him some comfort. "I'm sorry Thundercracker.

This world may seem like a paradise in some ways, away from the wars... but it's not as nice as it seems. I know it's hard, and I'm sorry, but I'm here for you." He could remember Soundwave and what the mech had been through, and nothing seemed right about how it had happened and then later he had left. He did his best to be soothing towards the flyer, without trying to quiet him, let the mech talk or rage, or rail against a comforting force, something that he can wear out the unhappiness against. That was what Megatron wanted to be for him at this moment.
a_father_to_his_men: (huh?)

[personal profile] a_father_to_his_men 2013-12-12 07:43 am (UTC)(link)
Surprised as he was by the sudden switch Megatron held the flyer closer, one arm curled around him to keep him close and the other giving soft, soothing strokes down the area of the flyer's wings that overlapped his back.

He waited as Thundercracker spoke, listening and taking it in. He had been so deeply entrenched in his own things that he had missed a large portion of what had happened around haven of late, but he wasn't about to point that out to Thundercracker at a time like this. It only resolved his intention to stay more aware of things in the future.

"What do you want to do?" He asked, looking concerned as he shifted to try to look the flyer in the face. "What does your em... spark, tell you will make things hurt less?"
a_father_to_his_men: (pic#5138234)

[personal profile] a_father_to_his_men 2013-12-19 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
"It is alright not to know, Thundercracker." He answered, realizing he had something he needed to make sure the flyer understood first and foremost. "It's alright to be lost amid the things that are happening. It's aright to feel rage and sadness when things become confusing beyond order. You don't need to have the answers right now, but think on them, and give yourself time."

He kept a hold of the flyer, not yet ready himself to let him go, wanting to offer as much comfort as he possibly could.
happyduckbutt: (Huh??)

[personal profile] happyduckbutt 2013-11-17 08:46 am (UTC)(link)
     He'd seen the notice belatedly on the Link, and even though he didn't know who Skywarp was, Ventus knew what it was like when the friends you made here suddenly just weren't there anymore. He didn't know what to say, or what he could say, but regardless he was saved the trouble of deciding due to the thundering sound that seemed to vibrate down to his core. Having been by the lakeside as he often was, the sudden spatter of water as shots from the Seeker shattered its surface had Ventus ducking out of reflex.

     "That was..." He lifted his head, staring after the form of the jet as it quickly shrunk into the distance. Wrong, something was wrong. The boy got to his feet, his keyblade summoning into his free hand as he started towards the lake's edge. He flung Wayward Wind into the air, leaping as though he'd jump into the water itself, his feet firmly planting upon the glider as it formed in a glow of light. Leaning forward, he urged it to speed up.

     He wouldn't catch up, he knew he couldn't with how fast Thundercracker was going, much less how much of a head start he'd gotten, but with how erratic his flight was, Ventus didn't think he should be left unchecked.

     "Thundercracker-!" he shouted into his communicator, even as he tried to keep a visual on the Seeker's position. "Thundercracker, stop! What is it? What's wrong?"
happyduckbutt: (kicked puppy)

[personal profile] happyduckbutt 2013-11-17 09:28 am (UTC)(link)
     Thundercracker didn't need to mention any names- he already had earlier. The voice Ventus heard now and the one that had earlier announced Skywarp's disappearance were completely different, but how Thundercracker was acting now, everything he said, it was enough for the boy to realize just how badly the sudden absence of the other Seeker had affected him.

     Ventus kept on course, gripping his Link tightly as he listened to Thundercracker speak. While it was a relief that he'd answered at all, the obvious pain from his tone tore at the young keyblade wielder.

     "...I'm sorry, Thundercracker. I'm sorry he's gone. I wish I knew why, but I don't...and... I know that it's hard, but doing this won't make him come back...!"

     Had he ever felt like that? So upset that he didn't care what he did, or where he went? He couldn't remember, but at the very least he knew that he didn't want his friend hurting himself from his recklessness.
happyduckbutt: (I meant what I said and I said what I me)

[personal profile] happyduckbutt 2013-11-18 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
     Ventus made way immediately for where the Seeker had landed. It was an odd reverse of situation, considering he was usually the one looking up at Thundercracker. He hovered above, brows knitting as he looked helplessly down at him.


     Slowly, Ventus descended, hopping off of his glider to the ground in front of the Decepticon. He stepped closer towards Thundercracker, hand reaching out towards him.

     "...I wish I could give you an answer... I wish I could explain why anyone vanished, or knew for sure where they've gone but I can't!"
happyduckbutt: (Aaaaqua- Terra ate my puppy again)

[personal profile] happyduckbutt 2013-11-18 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
     Often Ventus wondered that the large robots could feel things like that. He let his hand rest flat against the cool metal, and he looked up at Thundercracker's face, flinching at the questions as he lowered his head.

     They were difficult questions to hear, let alone answer. The boy didn't have the answers, even though he wished he did. They were questions he could have asked, but he never did. He knew that sometimes others left, but he always hoped that they'd gone home. It was easier to accept that way, if only by a little.

     But it was also denying the pain he felt in knowing that some of those he'd drawn close to in this place were people he might never see again. Slowly, Ventus stepped closer beside Thundercracker, leaning against him.
happyduckbutt: (sometimes I wonder...)

[personal profile] happyduckbutt 2013-11-21 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
     Ventus would never blame Thundercracker for failure. What had happened out there in the Badlands had been beyond their control, and while things could have been much worse, they had been spared such. He was glad that they had made it back at all, even if not in the best of shape.

     He hadn't expected the gesture to be reciprocated. It didn't seem like robots were very familiar with hugs, but then someone his size would probably be crushed if it was. While it might have been a daunting thing to find a large metal hand moving so close towards you, Ventus felt at ease, and even safe where he was. He couldn't hug a robot very well, but he did the best he could where he was.

     The sound that Thundercracker emitted was the saddest sound he'd ever heard. It echoed with the sadness that he still felt from those he knew who had disappeared from the Haven.