[closed]

[raceme]

Who: McCrane and Blurr
What: Some talking.
Where: Headquarters, the cells.
When: The day after all the bug monsters where defeated.
Warnings: None

[A few thousand years of living and a lot of mocking had a tendency to pile up. Blurr had hoped that at some point he'd stop caring about what others thought of him. Back in his world he usually shrugged and moved on, traveled to the other side of the galaxy for a solo mission and felt much better about life.

But here things were different. There was no scarping the planet and there was no going back to his home world. That wasn't really an option. He was pretty aware of what would happen to him if he got back and while cleaning the cells which were tiring and tedious he did enjoy having legs and arms to move around. Cleaning the cells was not in his to-do list (that was already a pretty long one), but Drill Boy refused to do it and those needed to be taken care of.

Blurr couldn't help but let his mind wander, remembering his discussions with Ironhide, Drill Boy and Power Joe. From time to time, Megatronu's words echoed in his processor too. It wasn't a pleasant reminder. He felt frustrated and exhausted, and more than anything...trapped.]

Comments

[mccrane]

[McCrane had already spoken with Drill Boy, and already had a bit of an indication what had transpired. With as many complications as there had been lately, however, he didn't have any interest in letting the matter sit. If the cells needed cleaning, he'd clean them, and then he'd talk with Blurr.

When he realized that the operation was already underway, though, he tried not to feel a little guilty.]

I can take care of these, Blurr.

[raceme]

[Blurr was mostly done already, super speed helped with this sort of tasks, but he was so distracted doing it that he didn't heard McCrane approaching. He almost jumped out of his skin and dropped the broom.]

N-no it's okay McCrane.

[mccrane]

[Blurr's surprise managed to startle McCrane enough that he took a step back, not expecting it. Something seemed...off, about his superior officer, and he couldn't place it. He was more jittery than normal...]

[...but given the recent arthropod attacks, McCrane could not blame him. It was going to take everyone a bit to settle--himself included.]

I am sorry that Drill Boy ran off.

He...

He is a very capable officer, but he gets distracted easily.

[raceme]

[The mech shook his head and picked up the broom from the floor, staring down rather than looking at McCrane.]

It's not your responsibility, you don't have to apologize for him_{, you did} nothing wrong. [There was a pause and when Blurr spoke again he sounded tired.] I know he is but he had a duty and he could have been hurt.

[mccrane]

I believe I did not communicate his needs well enough to you. It is something we should work out.

[He stepped forward, approaching the blue car.]

It shouldn't be creating extra stress for you, either.

[raceme]

[Blurr looked up at McCrane, fidgeting with the shaft of the broom.]

Everything has been so crazy those last months ^{with the monsters} and the glyphless _{and lately with the new arrivals} and I did not have...the best sort of communication with any of them either.

[Most of the time he ended frustrated trying to justify why he was the head of the Police Force, it was not something he enjoyed. And it happened mostly every time he explained the newcomers how the Police was organized.]

[mccrane]

[Reaching out, McCrane took hold of the broom, laying his hand over Blurr's.]

There have been no regulations...

But there hasn't been time to make regulations. I don't think any of us know what we're doing, but having this small force is better than having none at all.

I could write up a few dossiers on my fellow Brave Police, if it would help.

[He knows you like reading paperwork.]

[raceme]

No. I was expecting the law Committee to work on those but I think they were just as busy as us. [The contact was unexpected but Blurr didn't move away from McCrane's touch. He looked up at the other mech.]

T-that could help a lot, yes. Thank you McCrane.

[Paperwork ever lies, he likes that.] But even if I learn _{that I think it won't} be enough.

[mccrane]

Building a world is hard work.

[He looked down at their hands for a moment, before moving to gently pull at the broom. Blurr worked harder than most of them.]

I'll have them as soon as possible.

Enough for what?

[raceme]

And there's still so much to do. This planet is giant, even bigger than the Cybertron in my universe.

[He let go without putting much resistance.]

Thank you. Maybe we should go talk in some other place less...well, less like a cell.

For this. [He moves a hand around, gesturing to the whole place.]

[mccrane]

Do you think we'll be here long enough to see it completed?

[He couldn't even imagine how long that would take. Hundreds of years, at least. Much longer than his estimated life expectancy. That was enough to cow anyone, and he shivered as he started walking the broom to the closet.]

Something is bothering you, then.

Something more than just monster attacks.

[raceme]

I don't know...perhaps. My kind lives a really long time, millenniums even. [And Blurr has place in his world anymore. given the opportunity to leave he would refuse it. Better to live in a strange planet than spend the rest of his days as a crushed cube.

Blurr followed, shuffling his feet, and nodded. He was glad that no one was in the headquarters right now.]

I don't think I can keep doingthis.

[mccrane]

My kind have only been alive for one year, on Earth.

[McCrane just...can't imagine reaching one million years old.]

But then, we're built differently. We mirror humans.

[He opens the closet, and places the broom back, just staring into the interior for a moment. Everything that was in there--they'd built, or found. Everything that existed on this Cybertron, now, existed because of them. He knew how the wiring in the building worked, and how to replace it if something went wrong. He belonged here--whether it was on this Cybertron, or in the same building on Earth. It makes what Blurr says next come as a complete surprise to him.]

Keep doing what, Blurr?

[He looks up, startled.]

[raceme]

You act so mature, I always forget that. [It explains Drill Boy and Gunmax's behavior, though. Blurr should have known better.

It's not so bad McCrane. You keep surviving one day after the other and BAMB, suddently a lot of centuries have passed.] You don't know for how long you are supposed to live?

[Blurr sounds worried, and he is. He considers McCrane a good friend and he doesn't want anything bad happening to him. At the question he rubs his neck and then goes to sit on the nearest chair. He usually speaks moving all around the room but he's too tired for that now.]

This. Leading the Police Force. I'm clearly not what it needs, I'm not a figure of authority. Perhaps I should never have been in the first place.

[mccrane]

Thank you, Blurr.

[He's not prone to blushing, even if he'd been capable of it, but that still makes his Super AI chip run smoother to hear. It's nice.]

There have not been other machines like us in production. Previous generations could last a few decades at least, but by that point their software was too out of date to be useful. I did not expect that we would be top-of-the line police robots for more than a few years.

[At which point, they'd be replaced. He'd thought on it before. He didn't...like to think on it. There were no laws to regulate the treatment of robots on Earth, because there had not been robots like him for very long.]

...

[However, the turn of the conversation went from bad to worse. He closed the closet door louder than he expected to.]

Blurr, the Police Force would not exist without you. Why do you doubt yourself, now?

[raceme]

Is the truth, you don't have to thank me. [Blurr can't blush like humans either but his optics gets brighter when that happens and his faceplates heat up.]

That's really sad, McCrane. With the technology we have here _{while limited} we can try to fix that. You already got your engine changed after all. [He doesn't like to think about McCrane dying again.

He winced at the sound.]I'm not thinking about leaving the Police Force but as things grow they also ^{change and we need to embrace change or all will cease} to grow. I want the Police Force to be as great as it can be and...it needs someone better. Some less...like me.

[mccrane]

You deserve it from me, though. You are my friend.

[And its...really good to have new friends, here. It makes his aching for the friends he left back home less poignant.]

I think a lot about us is going to have to change to fit in...but I do hope I can be of service for as long as I can be.

[He liked police-work. He'd wondered a few times about army-work because of Seia, but it was police-work he'd been constructed for. This is why it's hard for him to imagine this work not being with Blurr.]

I have not known you as anything other than the mech who founded the Police Force. To me--you are what we need.

I did not know you before, however...

[He trails off.] Is this because of what you did, in your war? Who you were then?

[raceme]

[Blurr fidgets a bit and smiles at McCrane. He ever really knows how to react to things like that, even if those make his spark miss a beat.]

I have no doubt you will, McCrane. This place wouldn't be the same without you either.

[It hurts Blurr to admit this, specially after what McCrane just said, but he's tired of lying to himself.]

Yes, in part it's because of that. I was not the one in charge in my world and I liked it that way. I traveled a lot and investigated but the important thing is that people always had someone to rely on, someone powerful and strong, not me.

[mccrane]

So you are worried you do not have the qualifications to be a leader...because you have spent so long alone.

[McCrane wants to be sure he gets this right. He turns, and leans against the closet door, staring at the ceiling for a moment before looking back to Blurr.]

And more than that--you miss some parts of being alone.

[He says the last bit softer--understanding how difficult it is to find oneself occupying a situation that they weren't built for.]

[raceme]

[More fidgeting.] Yes. I'm not suited for ^{certain sort} of interactions, _{I'm bad at them} and I don't want my personal flaws to affect the Police Force.

[He doesn't answer that other question so quickly nor is he looking at McCrane. He misses not caring, rather than being alone. Not caring hurt less than this. Not caring meant that he did not have to worry about ruining any body's life if he screwed up, only his own. He doesn't care about his own life, that's not so important.]

...in a way...

[mccrane]

Understood.

[He sees the other's hesitation, and he feels badly. This was obviously no easy decision for Blurr.]

I will defer to your judgement, of course, but I think you have all the qualities needed to lead us.

Sir.

The experience is something you could pick up in time, and you have both Ultra Magnus and I to assist...

[raceme]

You really mean that? [Blurr looks up, looking for any signs of anger of frustration on McCrane's face.]

In the future. But right now, I can't.

[While BLurr was still looking drained and tired he manages to give McCrane a smile.]

I don't think I could have done it without you two.

[mccrane]

[McCrane has no anger, and no frustration. He can tell that this is hard for Blurr, and he does not know what to do to make it better...

But he knows what has worked in the past, and he steps forward--awkwardly at first--and gives Blurr a hug.]

I do mean that.

I am thankful to have had you as my commander, and I can only wish you the best luck.

[raceme]

[Blurr is taking aback at the sudden gesture and he freezes, worried that he's going to be crushed. A few nanoclicks later he remembers that this is McCrane, someone he trust deeply, and relaxes marginally. It's been along time since his last hug. It feels nice.

Blurr rest his head on the other mech shoulder.] Thank you. For everything, I really mean it.