re_alignment_logs | The Healing Factor

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The Healing Factor

WHO: Rung and Fort Max
WHERE: Rung's Office
WHEN: A few days after Rung's return.
WHAT: It's time for Max to finally sit down with Rung proper like.
WARNINGS: Um..nothing? I don't think at least. B|a

It had taken him asking a few times--

No, scratch that, it had taken him asking several times over with some gentle nudging before Fort Max had finally agreed to come meet with him. It seemed like forever since they'd attempted this, the last time having gone quite badly given Rung's state of being, and since then their interactions had been sparse.

It was time to change that.

Given the new memories that he now had, Rung really wanted to push forward and sit down with the other--wanting to reassure Max and try again with him.

Rung knew the other had it in him, knew the other had the confidence to go through with anything and he wanted to give Fort Max the encouragement he thought the other would need; the support.

Seated in his office, Rung's vents cycled softly as he finished cleaning up things--five days of not being around had caused a lot of dust to collect--hands resting on his hips as he smiled faintly to himself.

Good. Definitely presentable now. He never liked having others around when things were a mess.

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Fortress Maximus couldn't count how long it'd been since he'd seen Rung last. Had tried not to think about it- the time, or seeing Rung again. After the reaction he'd drawn last time, the sickening, spark-deep twisting of deja vu- suffice it to say that it had discouraged him. He didn't want to have a third failure, and the easiest way he could think of was to avoid it.

Still, the bitter taste couldn't be covered up by however much highgrade he imbibed. Used to imbibe, since Ambulon was still checking up with him to ensure he didn't relapse on that front. And since his meeting with Prowl, looking back on it and seeing some uncanny similarities...

He'd only protested so much when Rung had suggested they speak again. Felt almost too apathetic to, really. Which explained why he was here, now, raising his fist to knock before he slowly opened the door.

Turning as he heard the knock, Rung moved to the doorway of his office and peered out into the hall towards the main door. There was a soft smile there as he spotted the other, motioning him as he stepped out in the hallway a bit.

"Hello Fortress Maximus..it's good to see you," he greeted, tucking his arms behind his back as he waited for the other to approach.

"I'm hoping you've been alright as of late?"

Play it like nothing had happened and that everything was still normal. Just..try and pick up where they had left off.

Ah. There.

Fort Max hesitated only a moment before approaching, flexing his fingers once before letting them still. "Been hanging in there," he said neutrally, tempted to pretend nothing was wrong but-

-hell, avoiding was tiring.

"...Come sit down," Rung said softly after a moment of looking the other over as he walked closer, making his way back into the office first to lead the way sort of.

It's pretty obvious that there's something buried there; that 'hanging in there' wasn't the whole truth but he'd let Max set the pace for all of this.

"I've been worried about you. You don't come over the comm all that often.." the therapist murmured as he sat down in his chair, a worried flicker in his optics.

Wordlessly, Maximus followed, looking around and settling on a chair that looked like it would tolerate his weight. "Don't always have much to say," he admitted as he shifted in it, briefly thinking back to how the other sessions had gone.

Pressing for talking...he sighed, mostly to himself, resolving at /least/ not to make a total aft of himself in this.

"That's fair. And there's nothing wrong with that," Rung said thoughtfully with a bit of a nod before he leaned back in his chair some.

He needed to get the other's shell open or else this was never going to work.

"The..main reason I asked you to come here--wanted you to come here, outside of me wanting to check on you, is that there's..something I wanted to discuss with you," he admitted, looking thoughtful before shaking his head some. "No, actually, the better way to say it is that there's something I want to tell you about. Something..that I remember from our universe now."

Another pause and the therapist's optics dim a bit.

"..Something about Overlord."

Maximus finally settled a bit hunched over with his arms on his legs, hands hanging loosely between them. And while his focus was on his hands at first - when Rung began speaking again, he looked up slowly, a hint of puzzlement crossing his features.

Remember? From?...

And then the puzzlement vanished, his face going utterly blank. Perhaps the only sign of emotion was the slight narrowing of his optics.

Bear with him, Max. You'll like the way this story ends.

"...Overlord was onboard the Lost Light. I don't know why but I know it had somethig to do with Chromedome," Rung explained, keeping his gaze on the mech before him. "He managed to escape his cell somehow and fought his way through the ship, taking out anyone in his path. Everyone was working together to try and stop him but nothin was working...Even Ultra Magnus fell."

His optics dim some. Considering the events as of late, that's even worse than before.

"It..was you who finally stopped overlord. You took him on and didn't hesitate to do what needed to be done, despite what memories might have been haunting you still," he said softly now, a proud look in his optics. "I wanted you to know this because I think you needed to hear it. To know that no matter how it all seems right now, you are a lot stronger than you realize, Max."

Overlord...on the ship?

Alarm led to suspicion leads back to alarm. For someone who had learned to hide his thoughts as a matter of simple survival - the only thing that showed anything were his optics, emotions flickering through them like candlelight in a storm.

He didn't know if what Rung's saying is true. He had no reason to doubt Rung, but suddenly 'remembering' this- it sounds absurd. Impossible.

He didn't say that.

"Doesn't do much good here, with him gone," Max finally rasped. He didn't sound angry. More...tired.

"It doesn't change anything, Max," Rung countered with a shake of his head, sitting up a bit and leaning forward to fold his arms on top of his desk. "I know it all sounds crazy--trust me, I still can't quite get a grasp on it considering I was..well dead and then I woke up remembering all of this--but what it proves is that you are still the mech you once were. You still have that fighting spirit, that strength, despite how you may feel or think right now."

He can hear the tired edge to the other's voice and he knows this is probably a lot to take in but the other needs to hear it, in Rung's opinion.

It's about time he had something positive.

"I don't know everything that's gone on here, Max, I don't know what you've had to deal with completely but I do know that you aren't type to give up. Even when you sink down low you always hang on and come back and I know, in my spark, that you can overcome anything that comes your way. You just need to believe in yourself a bit."

"..."

Or it proved that Rung had crazy 'dreams', or that this place was slagged to all hell if someone who died could come back, or any number of other things.

Maximus sighed, looking down at his hands as he shook his head a little. "You don't...he was here, Rung. He was here, and you know what the first thing I did, was?" The self disgust and shake of his head should say it enough. "Convinced myself I was seeing things. That he couldn't be here. That sound like someone with fighting spirit or strength?"

His optics dim. He's not sure why he's saying this; it happens months ago. Over and done with. Better to keep inside and away...

"Then, when he- found me. After telling myself all the things I would do if I ever saw him again, ever had the chance, instead I just...froze."

"That sounds like something anyone would do in a situation like that. He hurt you in ways many would not understand, Max, and sometimes denial is how we deal with seeing those individual's that caused us pain again. Is it the right option? No. It doesn't solve anything in the end. But sometimes we need that starting point. We need that first bit of denial to help us prepare," Rung replied softly, his own optics dim though it was more from sadness than anything.

Primus did he wish he could fix this all.

"If he were to show up here again, if he were to start terrorizing Haven...what would you do this time?"

"Hnh."

He wants to say he'd fight. That he'd face him. But considering how last time went...

He doesn't know anymore. Not for sure.

"Get an army or something. Be the least you'd need to stop him," he says after a heavy vent.

Edited 2013-05-16 17:02 (UTC)

"But you wouldn't give up, would you?"

He knows the other has a lot of strength; he's seen it and heard about it from others. They wouldn't have put him in charge of Garrus-9 if he wasn't capable.

Now, he just needed to convince Max of that.

"I think, if it came down to it, you'd be able to stop him, I truly do. He's strong, yes, and the way his mind works is hard for anyone to truly understand but there is a unpredictable element that would benefit you. He doesn't expect you to ever be able to stand up to him and that will be his downfall in the long run, Max."

"Never did."

Not entirely, at least. Not in full. Oh, bits and pieces- but at least, with a faint, bitter smile crossing his face - he still held on.

Somehow.

"Sure as hell expected it back in- you know."

The bitter smile fades as he glances off to the side, unconsciously working the fingers of one hand with the other.

Rung can't help the faint smile that appears as Max says the soft 'Never did'. That strength isn't gone, and for that he's glad, though he needs to help the other build it up some more.

Which is why he gets up and slowly moves around the desk, stopping beside the other and resting a hand on top of the larger mech's.

"It was what he was looking for. The reaction he was trying to get out of you so he could break you, Max," Rung murmured, shaking his head as he squeezed the other's hands. "And after you broke? He expected you to be putty in his hands from that point forward. But you didn't break and I think you still have all that strength from before inside. You just need to have the confidence to use it again; to stand up for yourself."

Maximus looks up as Rung moves, a small frown crossing his face. It bleeds in to puzzlement as Rung moves over, and then sets his hand on his...and then he looks down, cycling harshly.

Even when he knew it was just so Overlord could get a reaction, he still reacted. He tried not to, but so often, all his tries and attempts and everything were for nothing.

"I'm a mess, Rung." he mumbles. "'Sall there is to it."

"No, Max..there's a lot more to you than just a mess," the therapist countered softly, his expression gently as he squeezed the other's hands again.

"You've been through a lot and that is why you feel like such a mess. Feel as though nothing can really be the same again. And perhaps things won't ever be exactly the same, but you'll find your new normal. You'll find a new path to start on and your strength will keep you going and help you heal," he explained, smiling faintly, encouragingly. "There is no doubt in my mind that you can beat this, Max. And I'll keep helping you--keep guiding you as much as I can until you feel the same."

Hnh. "I'm a mess, and I still can't figure out if you're a masochist," returns Max, shaking his head with that bitter smile once more. "You remember last time we tried this? Or the one before?" Hell, even the one before that. "There's not exactly a /history/ with this sort of thing going well, for either of us."

Yes, he's avoiding the topic of himself. It's making him uneasy. He doesn't like feeling uneasy, weak, exposed - and he's pointedly avoiding meeting Rung's gaze.

Hell, he's trying not to respond to the touch, as much as he wants to grasp back. But he can't.

Rung's not giving up on you yet, Max, so you can just stop trying already.

"I do, yes, and it's because of those previous incidents that I'm not giving up on you, Max. You need someone to be there for you and no matter what's happened in the past, I'm here and I want to help," Rung said with nothing but sincerity in his tone, the therapist reaching with both hands now to hold both of his patient's.

"Just because things haven't gone perfectly in the past sessions we've had doesn't mean that there isn't a good ending waiting for you. You've made progress, Max, even if you don't realize it and I'm not going to let you give up on that."

When Rung's other hand reached for his, Maximus moved them. Away. Not so much shrinking back as simply - trying to get a bit of distance, enough so that when he put his hands on the arms of the chair, he'd have the room to stand.

However much Rung gave him.

"'Progress'," he echoed. "Right. So I didn't tear Prowl in two when I first saw him. 'Course, I was organic at the time..."

The therapist let go and did step back to give the other space, taking it as a sign that he needed to back off a bit now.

"You're here aren't you?"

Leaning back against his desk, Rung watched the larger mech with a thoughtful sort of gaze; contemplative as he tilted his head just a touch.

"Why did you agree to this if you think it's hopeless, Max?"

There'd been a brief moment of heightened unease, but it fled once Rung gave the space. Max said nothing of it, instead taking a few steps, all for the world just wanting to stretch his legs for the moment.

"...you kept asking."

And he may have felt that...well. He owed you.

"..So you don't think it's going to help any? Or is it that you don't really want it to help?"

Because there's only so much Rung can do for the other if Max isn't going to at least try. He doesn't want to give up--Primus that's the last thing he wants but..

"..."

Fort Max stops at that, staring at the wall. At nothing. And after a moment, there's another heavy vent.

"...I don't know. Alright? I don't know."

If it'll do anything, if he doesn't 'want' it to help - of course he's tired of being like this, but he just...

He doesn't know.

Gaze softening, Rung shifts like he's going to move then stops, watching the other a moment longer before his vents cycle softly.

"I'm here whenever you need me. I mean that. I think..that deep down, you do want to move on from everything, Max, but you're scared that it will never be better," Rung spoke softly, finally moving to push away from the desk a bit, reaching out to touch the other's arm.

"But you don't have to be scared and it will get better. It takes time and I know it can seem frustrating beyond belief and impossible--"

He squeezes the other's arm just a bit in a reassuring gesture.

"--but you don't have to fight these demons alone anymore."

From anyone else, Max would have balked at the accusation of being scared. Perhaps turned and snarled at them. From Rung - he flinched subtly as though struck, but little more. Gaze still ahead, he frowned again, mostly at himself, as Rung stepped forwards and offered the touch.

"Tired've feeling like this," he admitted after a few moments more, dimming his optics.

"I know you are," came the murmured response, Rung's spark going out to the other because he knew this had to be hard. "But it will get better. Even if it doesn't seem like it right now, it will."

Hesitating, Rung let his hand fall from Max's arm, lifting instead to touch the other's cheek in an attempt to get the larger mech to look at him.

"We'll get you through this together though."

His optics flickered back on at the light trace on his face. And though the glow was dim, it was at least still present as he let his helm be turned down, the light frown lingering.

He said nothing. What could he? That he wasn't sure if he could find any real trace of normalcy? That the closest he'd had to it was at the bottom of a cube that he was doing his damned best to stay away from, now, as to not repeat an earlier humiliation? Or...what?

"...mmm."

Rung was use to this; the sort of response the other was giving him. He knew the other probably still had a lot going on in his head, a lot that he wasn't ready to really put out on the table yet and that was fine.

Bad thoughts, good thoughts--Rung would be patient and let the other speak at his own pace.

"Now...did you want to talk anymore right now or call it a day?" he asked, drawing his hand away finally.

Frankly, he wasn't sure what they'd talk about. Aside from the session(s) on the Lost Light - it had been a very long, long time since Fortress Maximus had undergone any sort of...well.

He shrugged half-heartedly. "Don't know what we'd talk about." he admitted finally. "He's...Overlord's...neither here nor there."

At least he could say the name, now. As much as it gave a foul, foul taste in his mouth.

"That's true. But if there's anything else you want to talk about.." Rung trailed off, waving his hand a bit before offering the other a faint smile and starting back around the desk.

"I just wanted to make the offer in case you had anything else, that's all. And that offer will stand even after you walk out the door. If you need anything, anytime...just get in touch with me, alright?" he added, giving the other a sort of 'I mean it' look.

What started as a helpless gesture turned in to the palm-up sign of I get it, I get it. "Alright," Max agreed. "I'll remember. Just...this isn't. Something. I'm good at."

To say the least.

Rung paused before taking his seat to glance at the other, an understanding look in his optics that came from a long time of doing this and working with individuals of all sorts.

"It's alright. Don't ever force yourself to talk about things. If you're ready to talk about them, we'll talk. If not..I would still like you to at least check in with me, just to let me know that you're doing alright."

Check in. Like he did with Ultra Magnus. There's a light huff that could be a laugh, and a lopsided smile. "You gonna want full reports, too?..."

He's only half joking. May as well have kept a journal, for how much Magnus kept tabs on him, ever since...well.

That gets a smile out of Rung as well and a soft chuckle as he shakes his head, holding his hands up.

"No, nothing like that. I just want to know how you're doing," he replied sincerely. There was also the explanation that he didn't want Fort Max just up and disappearing again--closing himself off from everyone else so perhaps if they could at least keep in contact...

That seemed easy enough. Maximus nodded. At least he had the habit, already - and Rung wouldn't be nearly as detail-oriented as Magnus.

Small mercies?...

"Yeah. Alright, then."

"Wonderful!"

Have another smile, Max, this one a bit warmer and maybe just a big bigger as well.

"Thank you, Max."

Rung, you're going to make him squirm at this rate. As it is, he's rubbing the back of his helm, awkwardly embarrassed by the praise. "'Snothing," he mumbles with a shrug. "Really."

...are they really going to get through this without anything serious happening?

Hell, that'll be the first.

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The Healing Factor

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